Why difficult decisions are recommended to be taken cold. Essay on why difficult decisions are recommended to be made with a cool head. Individual reflection on the topic

Our reason sometimes brings us no less grief than our passions.

Reason and feelings are the two foundations that make up the inner world of a person. They can be in harmony, or they can oppose each other. It is very important not to lose your mind in a whirlpool of passions. Everyone knows that people experience a variety of feelings. Love, hatred, anger, fear, nobility - these emotional processes are not always controlled by the mind. Consciousness tells us one thing, but feelings tell us something completely different. For several millennia, humanity has been trying to understand a simple question: do logical arguments of reason always lead to well-being, constitute happiness in the destinies of many people. After all, by listening to the voice of reason, we can avoid rash actions that entail tragic consequences. At a young age, feelings most often prevail over reason. But there are situations in life when the mind takes over the feelings and as a result brings grief to a person. The heroes of many novels, stories, stories are often faced with a choice: reason and bitter fate or feelings and boundless happiness? I’ll try to figure this out using examples of works by famous writers.

Confirming the idea of ​​the negative influence of the mind on a person’s fate, I will give an example from the famous novel “Dubrovsky” by Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. Strong feelings flared up between the characters, Masha Troekurova and Vladimir Dubrovsky. Vladimir rationally understands that this love is very dangerous for him: Masha is the daughter of his enemy, who will have to take revenge for the ruin and death of her father, but cannot do anything about her passionate feelings for her beloved. Committing desperate acts, he walks on the edge of a knife, which can bring a lot of grief to lovers. Masha also has passionate feelings for Vladimir, but at the decisive moment, when she could arrange her destiny with her loved one, her mind influences her feelings. She stays with Vereisky, explaining that she is married and is his legal wife. I believe that the intelligence of the heroine of the novel in this situation brought her grief for the rest of her life. This is not the best decision for a young girl. After all, her feelings for Vladimir have not cooled down. Mental anguish and longing for your loved one will further intensify your hatred of your old husband. For such a predominance of reason over feelings, she will reproach herself for the rest of her life.

As a second argument touching on the topic of reason and our passions, I will turn to Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev’s novel “Fathers and Sons.” Bazarov, in his feelings for Odintsova, reveals himself as a strong, passionate, deep nature. Before meeting Anna Sergeevna, he obviously did not know true love. But no matter how much he loved, his cold mind did not allow him to sacrifice his beliefs in the name of love. In my opinion, Bazarov’s mind cooled the movement of true feelings. This led him to a severe mental crisis. In a depressed state, he becomes careless, injures his hand and subsequently dies from blood poisoning. Bazarov's cold mind did not bring happiness to Odintsova.

These examples are quite simple, but they once again prove that the mind and feelings must be in harmonious unity. And if one prevails over the other, then this will never lead to good, will not bring happiness in the fate of people, but will only bring grief. I believe that problems of reason and feeling are relevant in our time. Before making a choice between awareness and emotions, you must be guided by both feelings and reason, so as not to bring grief and suffering to the people who love you.

Higher powers rewarded people with the greatest wealth - intelligence, and gave them the opportunity to experience feelings. You can be aware of your actions, remaining sensitive, able to feel joy, love, kindness, attention; do not give in to anger, hostility, envy.

There are situations in which a person is unable to control his emotions. There is a loss of self-control. A person makes rash decisions, which subsequently lead to tragedy. The consequence of submitting to such emotions is the correction of fatal mistakes during the rest of your life.

It is no coincidence that difficult decisions are recommended to be made with a “cool head.” In my opinion, this will avoid causing suffering and unhappiness. Often, people with a muted heart, rational thinkers, and pragmatists act with a “cool head.”

There are many examples in works of fiction showing the consequences of decisions made not with a cool head, but under the power of emotions, succumbing to a momentary impulse. Adequate, judicious decision-making contributes to the activation of thought. This helps to avoid tragic consequences.

So in the story by N.V. Gogol's "Taras Bulba" the tragedy of Taras lies in making a lightning-fast decision when meeting his son Andriy. The father pronounces a death sentence, i.e. makes a rash decision. Andriy’s sublime and pure love for the Polish woman could not become an excuse for Taras to betray his homeland. Hatred for the enemy (Andriy went over to the Polish side) was so strong that Taras follows the lead of emotions, which at a fatal moment control his mind. The father commits an unjustifiable sin: killing his son. It is in such a situation that it is recommended to make decisions with a “cool head”. Taras spent his entire life in military campaigns, he not only lost the habit of home, but his consciousness also underwent a change: “the bonds of comradeship became dearer to him than the bonds of “blood”.” Having deprived his son of his life, Taras looks for a long time at the lifeless corpse, regretting what he had done.

In the world famous novel by L.N. Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”, a special place is occupied by the author’s favorite characters. This is Andrei Bolkonsky, Natasha Rostova. A distinctive feature of her image is her emotionality. Responsiveness and spontaneity. She reacts sensitively to everything that happens, is capable of self-sacrifice and self-forgetfulness, high spiritual impulses. At the same time, Natasha can be very selfish, which is dictated not by reason and a “cool head”, but rather by an instinctive desire for happiness and fullness of life. Having become a bride for Andrei Bolkonsky, she cannot stand the year-long test and becomes interested in Anatoly Kuragin, ready in her passion for the most reckless actions. The disaster with Anatole and the betrayal of Andrei plunge Natasha into a state of crisis, from which she is brought out by the alarming news about the approach of the French. Subsequently, she realizes her guilt. But the job has already been done! Making a rash decision brought remorse to the heroes’ souls and made them unhappy. Natasha disappointed Andrei, who believed that true happiness can only be found in love. Betrayal by a loved one led Andrei to a spiritual crisis. The rash act did not bring happiness to Natasha either.

Thus, the deliberate actions of the heroes and control over their emotions can make loved ones happy and maintain a peaceful life. Before you do anything, ask yourself the question “why am I doing this and who will benefit from it?”

The above examples once again prove that it is necessary to make difficult decisions with a “cool head.” Then you will not leave mental and physical wounds that will remind you of yourself for the rest of your life.

Where it was said about the need to train the power of rightness (which is necessary to convey an opinion about something to the interlocutor), here we'll talk about training your own sight (in terms of “the ability to form an opinion about any phenomenon”). In project management, especially in an attempt to achieve flexibility when everything around is unclear and inflexible, this is quite the right task.

Here it would seem that in order to form an opinion about something, it is necessary to approach the process with a “cool head” (“if you are going to do something stupid, do it with common sense”).

However, from the same previous article you can learn that the brain serves emotions, correctly explaining to us what we just decided. And in such a “coldly rational process” as knowledge of reality, everything also happens through emotions, and not at all through reason.

We continuously generate a certain context for the perception of reality - we wander through a host of opportunities and dangers, while the brain makes millions of value judgments; these judgments, having just occurred in the present, a moment later become part of the given context. Which in turn shapes our desires, claims, ambitions, goals finally; and the mind in this process is a superstructure that is included in decision-making only after emotion has generated a “long list of options” from a conditionally infinite one and, having filtered out unnecessary options, has provided the brain with the opportunity to “deal with the short list.”

There is quite a lot of rationality in our current life (what you cannot measure, you cannot manage). Often all this “number crunching” blinds us, where we need adequate feedback from the client (in the sense that it must be perceived, it usually exists), we, sensing crisis phenomena, invest in performance reports (more indicators like this, more like that... and if “ square-nested") - in this case, the entire progressive public has already recognized financial indicators (which usually forms the basis of this kind of reports) as indicators of lag; things “working ahead” are usually qualitative, emotional and subtle.

What pitfalls lie in wait in the process of forming an opinion about something, an “adequate picture” of the world, a signal cleared of noise, etc. whatever you call it, and how emotions and reason coexist in all this. I’ll just cite “a few favorites” that I’ve gotten myself into more than once.

1. Gambler’s fallacy, whoever played was sure to get caught. There is a cognitive distortion that statistically unrelated events are still on some invisible tight string, and if, for example, on a roulette wheel, black comes up, then after that it seems that now the probability of red falling out increases; if black comes up again, then it seems that fate favors red even more, although in fact the theory of probability does not have this pulling force, trying to balance karma and cold probability is always 50 to 50 (in a real casino this is not the case since there is a zero, but we are not talking about that now). Similar trends occur in the business and personal spheres in the manner of “you can’t be lucky all the time and you can’t be unlucky all the time” (and it must be said that this is true). Then what exactly is the problem? In an emotional, I would even say “karmic” pumping of the situation. We were unlucky three times - on the fourth, “we are already destined for fate”, we can work on the topic a little worse. We were lucky three times, now we definitely won’t be lucky - we are starting to generate a self-fulfilling prophecy with “subtle signals”.

2. This is partly related to the “attribution error”; in our “picture of the world” we are usually hampered by external circumstances, while others are hampered by their internal psychological traits. Therefore, when explaining the situation, when analyzing and formalizing business situations, an ominous psychologism appears (Everything bad is inherited by the child from the other parent. The first law of heredity). Undeservedly much attention to the personal traits of the participants, undeservedly little attention to the incentive mechanisms of the system (checks and balances, etc.).

3. The problem of hidden evidence (I first encountered it in Taleb, it is quite likely that he is not the author) - absolutization of some properties, driving tendencies of people and situations. An attempt to present some features and themes as “ philosopher's stone"in pursuit of success. It is very difficult to eradicate, probably the popular book genre of biographies rests on all this. In a cartoonish sense, Steve Jobs wore a black turtleneck - we wear black turtlenecks. The problem is that millions of citizens who did not achieve success wore black turtlenecks simply nothing is known about them. There is no magic pill, one correct psychological trait, or behavioral strategy that leads to success. Nothing is good or bad in itself, but everything depends on the circumstances. What is the background in one situation may be the foreground in another (signal and noise change places depending on the circumstances).

4. Another funny aberration of consciousness can be observed right now in the real estate market in Russia. Prices are falling. On the primary market quite quickly (however, with the last of their strength, developers are trying not to call it a drop in prices, but to mask it with some kind of series of discounts, etc.). Well, that is, an attempt to disguise a stable trend, although the forces of the trend and the developers are clearly unequal (and as in the joke from the times of the USSR, about Rabinovich handing out empty leaflets on Red Square, “why write when everything is already clear”). However, no matter what it is called, the primary housing market reacts and prices here are falling “adequately to external conditions” (and will most likely continue to fall). However, the situation looked especially funny when the crisis in the secondary market deepened (and still looks like this). The secondary market is “broken, but not defeated” - even to the point of obvious manifestations of inadequacy. The whole secret is in “magic bubbles”, or rather in a deeply personal attitude towards things that are not related to their objective value (the secondary market sells one’s home, as if “for oneself”, and all the emotional flair associated with living in an apartment - my daughter’s first time here crawled, here they met their son from the army, etc.). Well, that is, an emotional approach undermines the possibility of an objective assessment of the situation.

5. Another trap, the temptation to fall into which is extremely high. It arises during planning, in principle, at any level - whether you are building a global strategy or simply trying to assess the likelihood of completing a project in a given time frame (the sex of a young lady differs from the sex of a peasant woman only in the quality of the sheets). Let's take a simple example: in a project you have calculated the deadline for the Customer to receive a project product, which, if “not the pure truth, then at least something that is not embarrassing to believe” (is in the guaranteed probability interval, not lower than 85%, accordingly designated You, like a piece of hardware). If suddenly this story does not happen, “hard-to-resist temptations” appear to reconsider the approach (and indiscriminately, despite the fact that in your scenario there was an honest 25% to lose, but your consciousness stubbornly insists, and without really trying to understand, that all the problems are in the wrong initial 85%). This is good when it comes to simple one-stage things, such as a project deadline: missed, “re-mortgaged next time,” etc. When we are talking about a strategy in relation to something, which is well thought out (with a kind of reverse passage, has intermediate points, the system is correlated with the capabilities, calculated not only in terms of the benefits won, but also in terms of the inevitable “costs of victory”). When implementing it, there will inevitably be temptations to revise it (actions of competitors, accidents, etc.), against the background of the mechanism described above (retrospective distortion). That is, it is very difficult, looking at the situation in retrospect, to convince yourself to take the same position in the past (to also estimate the chances of 85 to 25), knowing about future changes (especially when there is “no luck”). Keeping in line and understanding what “percent” (85 or 25) you have just arrived from is a very correct task.

Let's try to draw a couple of conclusions on the topic that even in such a rational, to the core process as forming an opinion about something, there are quite a lot of emotions, no matter how it seems to anyone.

A person who would like to think “that he holds a controlling stake in his destiny in his hands” is very likely to search for universally successful moves, axioms, and psychological traits. The idea that the same action can be effective or ineffective depending on the circumstances, just like the same psychological trait, can be a resource in a situation and a problem in another, really disgusts us.

In order to steadily improve our abilities in the field of forming an opinion about something (any forecast), we will have to face the persistent emotional background of our rationality, feel and correct the nature of distortions and interpretations of the received signals. Make friends between objective and subjective realities. Self-discipline (or willpower, depending on who you like) allows you to put your unconscious at your service and make decisions based on your own interests, and not the fears and distortions that constantly jump to the surface. It can be trained, well, like some kind of virtual muscle (and just like any muscle - without trying to lift “weight more than the peak maximum” and change overnight, becoming hard as chancre flint, breaking complex tasks into small, conscious steps, achieving small increments rather than dramatic record highs). Well, in a word, anyone who has ever trained any muscle knows. Well, for example, eat one less donut a day, or don’t deviate from the strategy for the sake of short-term gain (we decided that we were playing for superior quality and then the opportunity arose to save money by cutting a corner, no, we patiently invest in the intended key success factor). By investing in everything at once: speed, quality, assortment, price, it is more likely to miss or overstrain yourself, or to achieve what you want and get lost in a host of other “average options” (in general, in “one” and a little at a time, consistency is more important than perfection every turn).

We live in the information age (at least that’s what they say, I heard - whoever owns the information owns the world and all that), here it is very dangerous to fall into the direction of “information, information more information good and different." Here I would separate one from the other a little deeper, without pretending to be an academic interpretation: data is everything that falls from everywhere; information is something that has theoretical benefit from it; knowledge (what we really need) is a certain goal-related truth, a signal separated from noise. For example, when assessing certain positions, it is very important to immediately decide on the identification of actual risks from the entire host of existing ones (since the “theoretical weakness” of our position, which under the current conditions will be difficult for the enemy to use against us, cannot be considered a weakness at all for the sake of clarity) . Accordingly, the costs of searching for information about this “story” most likely a priori exceed the value from it. To solve complex problems, it is consciously worth limiting the scale of the disaster - in order to have a chance to solve them at all. It's more important to understand "what you're looking at" than to have an "HD" image.

Apparently, the development of civilization is a one-way road - and it won’t get any easier, in the sense that every day the amount of incomprehensible things will increase, and the level of uncertainty around will grow. One of the “patriarchs” (for some reason I’d like to think it was Peters) said that the winner will be the one who structures the chaos better than others. Strategy is becoming less and less a destination (it is clear that if strictly according to “Itish”, as we like, then it never was, the destination is the target architecture, and the strategy is ensuring how to get there, “work is not a wolf , a wolf is a walk”), but increasingly a set of principles that, when executed, increase the likelihood of hitting this cherished point (“Tactics is knowing what to do when there is something to do. Strategy is knowing what to do when there is nothing to do." Tartakower).

And finally, a little paradoxical (in line with the prevailing management by obgectives approach): the number of situations in which we will act with a predominance of noise in the data will most likely increase over time. The only solution in such a situation is sometimes to focus on the process (with strategic, informational, emotional hygiene... whatever that means) and not on the result (“we have so many drugs that not all of them have diseases” the idea is that there will be such a good medicine for which the disease will definitely appear). Outlining a small “platform” in the future (several holds and reference points), begin to move towards it, essentially planning by acting (detailing your picture of the world as you move - which goes well with the Taleb barbell strategy, when the benefits are relatively high and the risks of failure relatively “digestible”). It can do a good job of shaking off those that tend to stick to the stern, analysis paralysis and procrastination.

Nate Silver "Signal and Noise".
- Daniel Kahneman. Think slow...decide fast.
- Duncan Watts. Common sense lies. Why you shouldn't listen to your inner voice.
- Naseem Taleb. Antifragility.

How do the mind and feelings influence the choice or making an important decision?

The ability to think and feel is inherent in every person. They participate in making any decision and help make a choice: emotional or rational. In the first case, a person acts impulsively, relying on intuition and emotions. In the second case, he tries to act wisely, relying on arguments, analysis, and arguments. The paradox is that neither reason nor feelings lead to a clearly correct decision. Both rational and emotional choices can be both right and wrong.

The conflict between reason and feelings, characteristic of a person who is faced with a choice, is often described in literature, because it is this that allows one to reveal the character of the hero and justify his actions. I would like to refer to two works of Russian classical literature: “Fathers and Sons” by Turgenev and “Eugene Onegin” by Pushkin.

Let us remember how Tatyana Larina, who reads French novels and believes in the legends of the common people, falls in love and writes a letter to Onegin. She does not think about the consequences, but acts emotionally. Her deep and integral nature is absorbed by feelings for Onegin. In this situation, the heroine does not try to reason and is not able to act differently. And we cannot say whether she is doing the right thing or not. On the eve of the duel, Evgeny Onegin feels that he was wrong, provoking the jealousy of eighteen-year-old Lensky. But he thinks that reconciliation will damage his reputation, which means it is impossible. Here it must be recalled that Lensky’s second is Zaretsky, a famous gossip and duelist throughout the area. Onegin understands that his desire to reconcile with Lensky will be regarded by Zaretsky and society as cowardice. Onegin's conclusions lead him to a duel and the murder of the “young poet”. It is obvious that the main character of the novel shows cowardice, dependence on the opinion of the world, which he supposedly despises, and makes a fatal mistake, the price of which is life.

Nihilist and scientist Evgeny Bazarov, having fallen in love with Anna Odintsova, is faced with a choice: betray his ideals or renounce love. Following the arguments of reason, he leaves Anna Sergeevna. But love changes him: having experienced a strong feeling, Bazarov can no longer be a consistent destroyer of the old world. The hero of the novel “Fathers and Sons” is experiencing an internal conflict, because he considered himself a nihilist, for whom romanticism is “nonsense, unforgivable nonsense.” Bazarov is also unable to seek solace in science or in love for a woman - he is too proud, too free for that. The tragic resolution of this conflict between reason and feelings is the death of the main character of the novel.

Reason and feelings are interconnected, their harmony lies at the basis of human happiness. But the need for choice - emotional or rational - presupposes an internal conflict between reason and feelings. It is impossible to clearly determine what influences making the right decision more, because sometimes you need to choose with a “cool head”, and sometimes with a warm heart.

Man is an amazing and interesting creature, full of secrets and mysteries. Although we ourselves are human, sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to explain our actions and actions, our condition, not to mention others. The mind is what distinguishes man from other creatures. A person is able to think, reflect, make decisions, make plans for the future...

From childhood we are taught to make decisions thoughtfully and with restraint. Otherwise, you can make a million mistakes, which will then lead to disastrous consequences. For example, Rodion Raskolnikov from Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky’s novel “Crime and Punishment.” Couldn't an adult and reasonable person find a way out of this situation? After all, there were many people with similar problems. With some effort, Rodion would have found a job. Also, at that time it was already possible to borrow money. His trouble is precisely that, without having time to cool down, he made an instant decision, far from being with a “cool head.”

I would also like to cite as an example the work of Alexander Ivanovich Kuprin “Garnet Bracelet”. For many years now, Princess Vera has had a “faithful and humble servant” - a certain G.S.Zh., who in honor of her name day sends another letter with a garnet bracelet. This premise was the reason why Vera’s brother and husband came to G.S.Zh. with demands and threats to leave Vera alone and take the bracelet back. The gentleman claims that he will leave the city because it is difficult for him to exist without the love of the princess. But he decides to take a more terrible step - suicide. I believe that this decision is unreasonable, made at a moment of emotional excitement, and therefore wrong. Moving to another city, making friends, finding a job you like would be much better than giving up life.

So, each of us is influenced by emotions. Only some to a greater extent, and some to a lesser extent. Despite this, we must be able to control ourselves and our feelings. The mind must take precedence over feelings and emotions, no matter how wonderful they may be. If you take a rash step, then you will have to regret it for a very long time and correct your mistakes. Of course, they say that they learn from mistakes, but it would be better if these mistakes come from decisions made thoughtfully. It is not for nothing that in criminal law there is the concept of “state of passion” (emotional arousal), which is characterized by a violation of volitional control over actions. It is this condition that gives rise to various types crimes. This is why it is recommended to make difficult decisions with a “cool head.”

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Divorce is a fateful decision, so it must be conscious and balanced. It should not be taken when passions and emotions are boiling in the soul. You need to give yourself time to cool down in order to look at the situation from a distance and think about everything. Especially if you have children.

If you still understand that it is no longer possible to live together, separate and live separately. It may not be easy to do, but find a way to do it. From a distance, you will be able to calmly and soberly look at the situation, weigh the pros and cons. You will be able to feel what it is like to live alone, without a husband.

If, after living separately for several months, you clearly felt that you had finally taken a deep breath, and life began to sparkle with new colors, then, indeed, it makes sense to close the previous page and start life anew...

Often the reason for a rash, spontaneous divorce is infidelity. At this moment, emotions are seething, feelings are intense, one thought is beating in my head: “I’m getting a divorce immediately!”
I have met women who broke up with their other halves under the heat of the moment, and as time passed, they regretted it. Many of them never married again...

But if you still make this decision, then before formalizing the severance of relations, settle all property matters. Discuss with your husband how you will divide your acquired property: housing, car, household appliances etc. You can draw up a marriage contract in which all issues will be notarized. By the way, it can be concluded on any day of marriage, even on the eve of divorce.

Be fair. Even if your claims against your husband are justified, this is not a reason to try to take away all his acquired property. When discussing this issue, think first of all about the well-being of children. Consult with a lawyer about how best to resolve these issues.

By the way, sometimes women use the threat of divorce as a means of manipulation to force their husband to do as they want. For any reason they say: “If you don’t do this, I’ll divorce you!” But if you repeat certain words often, they lose their power, become familiar, and you stop paying attention to them. At some point, the husband may have the thought: “Maybe it’s really better to divorce her...”. Therefore, refrain from these words, they are too weighty to be used just like that.

If you have made the final decision to separate, do everything in your power to remain in normal human relations with your ex-spouse. Especially if there are children. It is very important for every child to know that his parents are good; he needs this for normal life. mental development, for a feeling of security and self-confidence. The separation of parents is a huge stress for a child. Therefore, do not cripple your child’s psyche, do not try to use him as a tool of manipulation.

Psychologists believe that divorce is a reason to understand yourself, think about your behavior, and reconsider your life values. Only in this way will it be possible to emerge from this test as a more experienced and mature person and subsequently not step on the same rake. Treat divorce as an opportunity to reconsider your life attitudes and start a new, happy life.

It happens that separated couples get back together after some time. If, over time, you realize that you regret the divorce, then admit it to yourself and try to restore the relationship. Maybe the family can still be returned. Of course, provided that your ex has the same feelings.
If the marriage is restored, the spouses become more tolerant. During the divorce, they understood a lot, were ready to make mutual concessions, and understood how to treat the family in order to save it.