How to stay cool in any situation. How to stay calm during an argument. How to stay calm in conflict situations

How to stay calm under pressure? How to remain cool, calm and not nervous in stressful, conflict and any other critical situations? A quarrel with a loved one, a traffic jam on the way to work, a conflict with the boss, a child having a tantrum, a colleague’s disrespectful attitude, a queue at the supermarket, etc. We often find ourselves in difficult situations in which it is quite difficult to remain calm. Surely you are familiar with this state when emotions go off scale, nerves are on edge and you are completely unable to make a reasonable decision. It may even be that someone has pissed you off so much that all you can do is scream and vent your anger at the person who made you so angry.In this article, psychologist Mairena Vazquez will share with you 10 tips and techniques for staying calm and equanimous in any situation.

In our crazy pace of life, it is very important to remain calm in order to make the right decisions. A lot of people live in , because we have to study, work, maintain a home and family, earn money, solve various family and other problems...

Some people, in order to calm down, start drinking coffee or grab a cigarette, thinking that this will help. However, this is a misconception.

Another mistake is consuming huge quantities of flour and sweets, as well as adding large quantity sugar in food.

Not only coffee, but any other drink containing caffeine makes us even more nervous. Sugar-containing foods also have the opposite effect of what we want: instead of calming us down, they give us energy, so we can feel even more excited.

So, what food will help you find peace and not be nervous?

Experts recommend in such cases dark chocolate And foods rich in vitamin C: strawberries, oranges etc., since they help reduce the level of cortisol (stress hormone), as well as various relaxing drinks (for example, valerian or linden tea).

For those who begin to “pounce” on the refrigerator to calm down, Chewing gum recommended (no sugar)- this will help you calm down and reduce tension. Try chewing slowly, consciously, enjoying the taste: your attention will focus on the chewing gum and will help take your mind off the problem.

To relieve stress, experts recommend dark chocolate and vitamin C-rich foods, such as oranges.

7. Nature is your ally

In difficult and stressful moments, it is very important to “move away” from the situation not only mentally, but also physically. Find a quiet place where you are comfortable and comfortable, and think about anything other than what is bothering you.

If you have the opportunity to go outdoors, do it! Forest, mountains, beach - everything that is available to you. Nature will help you relax.

8. The importance of physical activity

How to become equanimous and remain cool in any situation? Move, be active! Walking is highly recommended. Depending on your fitness level, simply taking a walk or going for a run is a great way to unplug, release pent-up energy and clear your mind. ?

It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do, but even a short walk is always much better than sitting alone at home with your thoughts. Physical activity helps regulate emotions and release endorphins, which makes us happy.

If you don't like running and prefer something else, you can find any other alternative - swimming, dancing, Pilates, yoga or - all of these activities help relieve accumulated tension and stress.

Exercise helps you manage your emotions and stay calm

9. Forgive, forget and keep a sense of humor

Sometimes we are faced with situations in which, for various reasons, we feel guilty and are very worried about it.

In such cases, to maintain calm, it is important to realize the mistakes you have made and try to forgive yourself in order to get rid of this feeling of guilt. If we are sure that we have made a mistake, we need to be able to forgive ourselves and give ourselves another chance.

Try to see positive side in what is happening and approach the situation with a sense of humor. Laugh at yourself, above the circumstances, even if it seems difficult to you!

10. Congratulate and encourage yourself!

You and I know that maintaining calm and equanimity in any situation is not an easy task. It requires patience, practice, desire and willpower - all these qualities will not let you feel defeated even when it is very difficult and it seems that everything is out of control.

Congratulate yourself on what you accomplished! You did it! You have shown yourself to be a mature person, capable of managing your emotions and actions. Be proud of yourself! Even if you made a mistake in something, it’s not scary, don’t punish yourself - next time you can do better! In addition, mistakes allow you to know yourself, and if a similar situation occurs in the future, you will not repeat them.

What do you think is the best way to stay calm? What do you do in a situation when everything goes from bad to worse? Are you someone who counts to 10 in your head or prefer to calm down with music? Or relieve stress and tension by jogging or other sports? Tell us about it in the comments in the article.

Translated from Spanish by Anna Inozemtseva

Psicóloga especializada en psicología clínica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clínica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e interesada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir artículos que puedan ayudar o inspirar.
"Magia es creer en ti mismo."

Often you have to face a situation when you cannot restrain yourself, anger and rage come out, often developing into attacks of aggression. Such moments are mentally and physically exhausting, empty hearts, and bring discord to families. How to learn to control your emotions and always remain calm in any situation?

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Elephant made of flies

First of all, you need to determine for yourself what is most often the source of irritation, at what moments nervousness occurs. Knowing the enemy by sight, it is easier to deal with him, namely, try to avoid irritants and stress.

Such situations can escalate not only because of a bad character. Oddly enough, people are affected not only by fatigue and stress at work and at home, but also by the weather, the phases of the moon, and the period before women's periods. Most often, such restless moments are caused by fatigue and lack of sleep, which causes a lack of vitamins and minerals in the body, and hormonal imbalance. Then the problem turns into a purely physiological process that is not so easy to control.

You often make mountains out of molehills, beat yourself up, mentally replay the situation and get even more angry and upset. When you notice that only negative thoughts, you need to pull yourself together, repeating: “It’s okay, I can handle it.”

Try to think about something positive. At such a moment, you can remember a person who knows how to control himself and is an example or authority for you. At the moment of irritability, you need to think and imagine what this person would do in such a situation.

How to stay calm in any situation

If you cannot control the situation, you need to try to control yourself. There are several techniques that help you master yourself in difficult moments.

The most common: in a moment of rage, bite the inside of your cheek, count to ten, take a deep breath and exhale your anger along with the air.

Learn to breathe with your stomach. A couple of minutes of this breathing using the diaphragm helps relieve tension. Inhale through your nose and watch your hand rise on your stomach.

At the moment of tension, you need to tense the muscles of the whole body, and then suddenly relax, imagining that a mountain has fallen from your shoulders.

Yoga techniques, meditation and prayer help you relax and put your thoughts in order. If this is all completely foreign to you, try to relax, close your eyes and read a poem you know, even if it’s a poem for children.

Calm music helps you relax. Take off your shoes, drink a glass of water and lie down, turning on a quiet melody.

Love yourself

Sometimes a negative situation drags on for a long time for reasons beyond your control. How to become calm when everything is falling out of your hands and you cannot control either the situation or yourself?

Relaxing baths, soothing teas and simple valerian will help you get through difficult moments and wait out troubles. Physical exercise and walks in the fresh air relieve stress, make the blood move faster and deliver the necessary vitamins and minerals to your irritated body.

You definitely need to get enough sleep and eat right. The diets that some women love to go on most often lead to vitamin deficiency and dehydration, which results in attacks of anger. At the same time, there is no need to overeat, especially at night. This way you can deprive yourself of precious sleep.

People who are happy with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. After all, they don’t know what stress is. They simply do not experience overstrain and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in a state of stress becomes angry, irritable and, as they say, gets turned on half a turn. Sooner or later he gets tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is this real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.

Voltage reduction

Every person interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that nothing will work without minimizing emotional stress. First you need to start eating well and on time. And starting the morning with something tasty and loved will help lift your spirits. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.

If a person is faced with a stressful factor at work, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It’s also worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bathhouse, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.

And in general, if a person is thinking about how to be calm in any situation, it means it’s time to change something in his life. Maybe it has become terribly monotonous? Then it won’t hurt to introduce a new hobby or passion into it. The main thing is that it brings pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be irritated.

Self-control

Typically, the question of how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day your boss puts pressure on you or your colleagues irritate you with every word they say. There is only one way out - self-control.

An effective method is breathing practice. Namely, the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with his left nostril, then with his right, and then with his stomach and chest. This not only calms your heart rate, but also distracts you.

Or you can simply hold your breath and release it after half a minute. This helps to minimize brain activity.

Methods of psychology

What happens in any situation if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If this is a close friend or relative, then half the battle is done - there is already a clear example. We need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.

By the way, many people advise making a list of so-called personal irritants. You need to know the enemy by sight. And after compiling a list, you can come up with ways to actually cope with the irritant. The next time a person encounters a source of stress, he will confidently be able to counter it with a predetermined method. This will be a small victory, which is guaranteed to improve your mood.

Motivation

There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. Most often people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work out, and it drives me crazy. I want to give up everything, wash my hands and close myself off from everyone in my shelter. But this is not a solution. Well, motivation will help.

In a situation that is already “on the brink”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It’s worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after the darkest night there is always a dawn.

In general, it wouldn’t hurt to read a collection of motivational quotes. The most important things will naturally stick in your memory. For example, Stuart McRobert, a famous publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and everyday life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal." Stewart addressed athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to achieve victory and titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.

Physical energy release

Surely every person interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in their body at the moment of irritation. Your head begins to make noise, the pressure rises so rapidly that you even feel a pulsation in your temples, you have a desire to scream or even attack someone with your fists with the intention of tearing them to shreds.

You cannot keep such a reserve of energy within yourself. Physical relaxation will help. You can sign up for a boxing class, where in the evening you can happily take out all your anger and aggression on a punching bag, imagining the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts making baseless remarks again, the person will automatically remember how yesterday he took it out on the punching bag, imagining the boss in her place. And he will be happy to note to himself that today he will be able to do it again. Besides, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, more physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension accumulating in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: “Extra energy should be directed in the right direction.”

Everything ends sooner or later

Many people live by this principle. And it's effective. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (this can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much hassle will sooner or later be completed and closed. New job Someday you will be able to find it. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. The boss will sooner or later get tired of nitpicking over trifles. In general, we need to be simpler.

By the way, this can be recommended to people who are worried about any important event. For example, before public speaking. True, there are also other ways. It is quite possible to be calm in any situation, even a very responsible one. You just need to set a short-term goal. Go out, give a speech, appear in the best light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the worry?

People are just afraid too much. Fear clouds their minds and makes it difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself in the right peaceful mood, then everything will work out.

A change of scenery

There is one more piece of advice that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. There are different practices. And one of the most effective is to change the environment. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a grave mistake - they return home from work, dragging with them a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. While in their “fortress”, they continue to think about their worries. And they don’t rest at all. You need to get used to clearly separating work and everything else - rest, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise the vicious circle will never be broken.

It’s worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice that the thought “Well, again, how tired of all this, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less often.

Domestic situations

Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society in general. But what about ordinary, “home” cases? If a person gets irritated in front of his family and friends and lashes out at them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures associated with work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, and lack of money. But those close to you are not to blame. In order not to be annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If close person found out how things were going at work, he didn’t want to once again remind about the bad boss, annoying colleagues and unloved position. He just showed attention.

And this also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in things that do not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves his opponent wrong. In this case, the person was unlucky. But the issue can be solved simply. You just need to politely put your interlocutor down or move the conversation in a different direction.

The secret is happiness

Quite a lot has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always satisfied and happy. He doesn’t get irritated by little things, because he doesn’t care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it doesn’t give you peace, reminding you of yourself every second, it’s time to change your life. And you don’t need to be afraid to do this. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.

Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, the psychological state of society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.

Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.

Do I need this?

Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:

• who find it difficult to control emotions;
• who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
• to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
• who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
• who dreams of always being a discreet person.

Why you shouldn't be nervous

• If you get nervous, you’ll lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
• If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.) will suffer.
• If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
• If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
• If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.

Learning to be calm

This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.

The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.

“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements

Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.

The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.

“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience

“Food Pot” - mindful eating

Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Signals of satiety will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, a slim figure will be ensured along with the ability not to get irritated while eating.

“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence

With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.

Controlling negative emotions

1. Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, resentment, etc.).
2. Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
3. Remember the most severe attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
4. Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
5. In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.

For every stress there is... an anti-stress

The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.

Let's pretend

Smile and yawn

Let's understand the world around us

How to keep a calm person in any situation, if excessive emotionality leads to undesirable consequences? Often it is difficult for an individual to cope with anger, hatred, aggression on his own, and he does not know what to do with these feelings. It will be easier to remain calm in stressful situations if a person understands the need for control own emotions. In the heat of the moment, you can say and do things that a person often regrets later. In addition, if an individual in a critical situation succumbs to the anxiety that overcomes him, then his ability to think logically, accept rational decisions and the ability to act correctly weakens sharply.

At the first stage of learning to gain calm, psychologists recommend learning to remain calm in minor situations when the individual is not yet completely overcome by negative emotions, and then moving on to train and learn in more serious and significant disputes or conflicts.

People often notice that it is very difficult to maintain inner peace when every trifle in life is important and therefore circumstances easily unsettle them. But if you develop a somewhat philosophical view of things, you can learn to remain calm in any situation.

How to always stay calm? Psychologists advise working on yours. If a person believes in own strength, then he gains the confidence that he can cope with any situation that can happen in his life. And vice versa, if he doubts himself and sets himself up for an unfavorable outcome of any undertaking, then it is difficult for him to deal with life circumstances and not get nervous.

It will be possible to remain calm in stressful situations if a person gets rid of the bad habit of dramatizing the events that happen to him and forbids himself to overthink himself.

An individual who wants to learn to remain calm needs to direct his wild imagination in a more productive direction, and not mentally scroll through unfavorable scenarios in his head, since such an attitude will only add anxiety and restlessness. If a person feels like he is succumbing to panic, then he should stop and think logically about the reason for this state.

Psychologists strongly advise monitoring your thoughts, because often a person becomes nervous and worried in situations that do not threaten him in any way. If an individual has such a tendency, then one should imagine the most favorable scenario for the development of events and think in a positive direction. This way a person will be able to make sure that nothing threatens his life and safety, and he will be able to cope with other troubles, if they arise, on his own, since in a truly critical situation the internal reserves of the body are mobilized by themselves. This is a protective function of the body, so there is no need to be afraid of what has not yet happened, since it is the far-fetched internal anxiety that is an obstacle to calm.

There are many ways to stay calm, and one of them involves having a backup plan in case something goes wrong. Most likely, you won’t need it, but the knowledge that there is a way out gives you a feeling of calm and confidence. And if failure occurs, then you should immediately begin to act on the backup version of the strategic plan.

How to remain calm in a conflict situation, which are not uncommon in a person’s life. Every now and then an individual is faced with rudeness, injustice and irritation of people around him, and it is very difficult to remain calm in these cases. Often you want to repay in kind, but it would be better to refrain so as not to complicate the situation. By responding to negativity, an individual will only receive a new portion of anger and aggression, and his life will be even more filled with disappointment and anger. In the end, everyone will lose from this. Learning to control yourself in such situations is difficult, but it is necessary. To do this, no matter how difficult it may be, it is important to always be in a good mood.

- you should try not to dramatize life situations, and not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative;

- required to be used in your vocabulary as often as possible the words “I’m stronger than this”, “I can handle it”, “it’s okay”; such verbal formulations will help you look at the existing problem differently;

- before sharing a problem with anyone, you need to think and not tell it to everyone you know; you should digest it yourself in order to calm down; well-meaning friends may show more sympathy than necessary, which can be even more upsetting;

- you should mentally visualize your calmness (become calm and calm person in your imagination);

— you need to determine for yourself those factors that make a person lose composure and control over himself. Knowing and avoiding personal irritants will help a person remain calm throughout the day;

— it is important to learn to control your emotions; to do this, you should remember the moments when a person could remain calm in a difficult situation;

- you cannot respond to attacks in a state of irritation; it is better to remain silent until calmness sets in;

- in any situation, always look for something positive;

— having heard criticism addressed to oneself, a person should find a rational grain in it; if it’s difficult, then you need to ignore what they say;

- it is necessary to develop a positive attitude towards people;

- it should be remembered that negative emotions that grip are harmful, first of all, to the person himself, therefore, if a mistake is made, it should be admitted;

- to calm yourself down, you need to listen to audiobooks that encourage a positive perception of life;

- if there is a person who can support the individual, then you should talk to him;

- viewing quotes from books can help set a person up for positive behavior;

- troubles in life should be treated as training; the more success an individual achieves in life, the more negative situations overcomes;

- a person cannot be liked by everyone, no one can do this, so it would be better to let relationships with some people become a thing of the past. In this way, you can free yourself from a heavy burden and communicate more with those who influence a person positively;

- to create an atmosphere of calm, you can use calm music or silence, scented candles;

— a few deep breaths can help an individual relieve tension, anxiety and adjust to a calmer rhythm;

- following a daily routine and a balanced, fortified diet will allow a person to be healthy, and therefore maintain inner peace;

- avoiding overuse caffeine and sugar, maintaining the necessary water balance can maintain a calm state of the body;

- daily physical exercise relieve tension, which will allow you to control your experiences;

- meditation and yoga can help you find peace of mind;

- in order not to think about the same thing, you need to get carried away by something interesting or creative;

— it is important to be able to rest and, if necessary, take a day off to recharge fresh ideas;

- Breathing from the diaphragm - belly will help quickly relieve tension and allow you to calm down in a matter of minutes. During belly breathing, the belly rises and falls. You need to inhale through your nose, then hold your breath for a few seconds and exhale slowly.

So, why is it important to learn to remain calm? So that impatience and anger do not exhaust your soul and heart. In order to get more done in life, communicate better, and live a more purposeful and productive life.