Pregnancy of her husband's mistress. How does a husband behave if his mistress is pregnant? How to forgive your husband and survive betrayal

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

Is it worth accepting this situation, in your outside opinion? Or will it only get worse? And also, I probably needed to talk it out, because I have no one to discuss this with. I always keep everything to myself, I can’t really explain how I feel. I would like my husband to understand how much it hurts me, but I don’t know how to convey this to him. I don’t want hysterics and scandals

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

I still can’t understand whether I can live with this. That is, even if everything goes as the husband says, no further communication with that woman, will I still be able to believe him. He was the closest person to me, and now he seems to have died as a close person. And when loved ones leave, the strongest desire is to bring them back.

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

There are parents who have very friendly relations with my mother. My dad and I are a little distant, but also good, they love me very much. I can’t tell them this, because given the state of their health, it will finish them off. We are the perfect family for them. I have friends, but more like friends, I simply can’t chat, go to a cafe, or share such intimate things with them.

21 Mar 2017

It turns out that you “put your eggs in one basket”
In your husband, you have found a friend, a lover, the father of your children, and so on.
You have no one else to get full emotional support from except him.
Hence it follows that he is a highly valuable person for you.
What options do you see for getting out of this situation?

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

Yes, it turns out that way. But, if we abstract from the situation, he really is as I described, I’m not embellishing him. The situation is such that I don’t see a way out yet. Save the family, I’m afraid that the ghost of this child will be between us all our lives. To break up means to lose a truly loved one and deprive children of a full-fledged family.

21 Mar 2017

Keltia

This means that I will be afraid that even when years pass, he may regret that he made the decision not to communicate with him, that in case of any failures of our children, he may think, but somewhere out there, maybe I have an “ideal” growing up. child". The tragedy of this situation is that literally a few months ago, I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. The pregnancy was unplanned and “at the wrong time,” so to speak, but I would never have had an abortion.

21 Mar 2017

that I will be afraid that even when years pass, he may regret that he made the decision not to communicate with him, that in case of any failures of our children, he may think, but somewhere out there, maybe I have an “ideal child” growing up.

The tragedy of this situation is that literally a few months ago, I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. The pregnancy was unplanned and “at the wrong time,” so to speak, but I would never have had an abortion.

21 Mar 2017

A man sometimes cannot resist the temptation to have a mistress. After all, there are so many beautiful women around with whom you want to chat, flirt, and show your masculine strength in bed. Of course, a man can start a serious relationship with one woman, even marry her. However, this does not negate the fact that other beauties will periodically pass by and visit you. A man cannot take his eyes anywhere, so sometimes he is tempted to have an affair with his mistress. And the result of such a relationship may be pregnancy. What to do if your mistress suddenly becomes pregnant?

Pregnancy is usually a topic for a female audience. They bear children, give birth, and then raise babies in the early years. However, men also become participants in the process, albeit a little indirectly. After all, a woman begins to demand that the future father of her child continue the relationship with her, look after and take care of her, pay money for all expenses, etc. This behavior of a woman is justified, because:

1. Who needs her while she's pregnant? Imagine that for about 6-7 months, while a woman is already walking around with a bulging belly, she will not be able to meet a new man and seduce him. And after giving birth, a woman will also not have time to start a relationship with someone.
2. Who needs it with a child? Many men are not yet ready to raise other people's children.

The woman trusted the man, surrendered to him, and now expects responsible behavior on his part when he learns about the emerging life after their sexual intercourse. But a man may have his own life circumstances that a woman does not take into account. Let's try to give advice to men who find themselves in a situation where their mistresses are pregnant.

A man is married and expecting a child from his mistress

Mistresses often arise when a man is already seriously building a relationship with someone or is even married. Often mistresses arise during periods when wives are pregnant, and it is not yet possible to sleep with them for certain reasons. But here the difficulties are compounded by the fact that the mistress also becomes pregnant. What should a man do?

1. Determine the presence of pregnancy. This advice applies to anyone who is told they are pregnant. First, find out for sure that the woman is pregnant. In the first months of her “interesting” position, you will not be able to determine this, since her belly will not grow yet. Here you must make sure that pregnancy exists at all. To do this, you need to go with your lover for an examination to a gynecologist or for an ultrasound so that specialists can confirm the presence of a baby.

Do not believe any strange pregnancy tests (they can show a false result) or the papers you bring. You can print these documents yourself or borrow from other women. Your mistress should hear in front of you that she is pregnant or simply get advice from a gynecologist on how to continue her pregnancy.

1. Help the woman financially. If your mistress turns out to be pregnant, then it is better to help her financially. Of course, you can refuse this point and say that you will not participate in the pregnancy, but this will show you as a weak person. We're not saying that you have to give away all your money. We suggest you act humanely. Say that you will give your mistress some amounts of money, as best you can, so that the wife does not notice anything and does not find out about anything.

1. Do not register your child immediately after birth. If you are not divorcing your wife in order to build a family relationship with your mistress, then you must be absolutely sure that your mistress gave birth to a child from you. Understand that mistresses, in order to lure men away from their families, are not only willing to lie about their pregnancy (so you must confirm it together), but also become pregnant by other men and say that the children are yours. After the baby is born, take a DNA test. Only after this test confirms your paternity, agree to register yourself as a father or do not do so.

You may not be listed as the father on the child's birth certificate. However, you should at least understand whether this child is yours or someone else’s. As for financial assistance for the upbringing and development of the child, this is also a voluntary matter, until the mistress goes to court to obtain alimony from you. She can get them from you only if she presents a DNA test for your paternity. Otherwise, she won't succeed.

Should you tell your wife about your mistress’s baby? This question is purely individual. Each man must decide for himself what will suit his situation:

• You can tell your wife about your mistress and unborn child. She may be happy about the baby and even offer to take him in, if she herself does not have children, loves little ones and has always dreamed of a full-fledged family. She may offer to pay her mistress money so that she gives up the baby. Your wife may leave you if you have children, she will not be able to forgive your betrayal, she does not like children at all. Also, your wife can save your marriage, but not be interested in your child. This situation may arise if feelings between you have ceased or have never existed, and your marriage is a mutually beneficial union.
• You don't have to tell your wife anything. She will not know about anything unless other “kind” people, including the mistress herself, tell you about the presence of your son/daughter. You can calmly help your second family without infringing on the interests of the first family.

It’s good if a man has a high income, when he can freely help his child and continue to live for his own pleasure.

Do you need to divorce your wife in order to go to your mistress? Nobody obliges you to do this. If you want, you can continue to live with your wife, and just date your mistress and raise your common child. If your mistress threatens to leave, tell your wife everything, or forbid you to see your baby, then do not fall for her threats. The mistress must understand that you will act as you are comfortable, and not as she wants.

If you love your mistress, then you can think about divorcing your wife in order to build a new unit of society together with your baby.

The man is single and expecting a child from his mistress

Events unfold a little more simply if a man is free from any serious or marital relationships, when his mistress tells him about her pregnancy. What should a gentleman do? He is also recommended to first establish the fact of pregnancy, since women often resort to deception in order to force them to be close to them and even get married, and then wait until the child is born to find out whether you are his father, thanks to a DNA test.

It is not necessary to build a serious relationship with your mistress if you are indifferent to her and have never wanted to have a serious relationship. She may give birth to a child, which you, in principle, do not have to refuse. You can give her money for various procedures and raising the child, even see him yourself in order to participate in his development. At the same time, you can continue to remain a free person if a bachelor’s life is too dear to you.

However, if you want a family, then you can consider marrying a woman. We still recommend that all men establish their paternity through a DNA test, even if they married their mistresses who became pregnant from them. Otherwise, it may turn out that your mistress became pregnant by someone else, and ringed you.

Is an abortion necessary?

Often the first reaction of men who were simply playing love games is the desire to force women to have an abortion. If you don’t go into the moral principles of society, then abortion also takes place. It becomes especially relevant if neither the man nor the woman wants a child.

You can talk about abortion, but it is better not to insist, since it is still up to the woman to decide whether she will undergo the procedure to terminate the pregnancy or not. Moreover, a woman may have a negative attitude towards a proposal from a man from whom she expected a different reaction. If your mistress is dear to you, you love her (despite the fact that you do not want to part with your wife), then it is better to gently suggest that she have an abortion. If your mistress does not agree, then accept her decision and come to terms with the fact that you will soon become a dad.

Remember that the child:

1. Doesn't oblige you to love your mistress!
2. Does not oblige you to marry your mistress!
3. Does not oblige you to divorce your wife!
4. Does not oblige you to do everything your mistress wants and demands!

The child is your blood. You are only obligated to provide him financially - this is the bare minimum. In the best case, the child will oblige you to simply allocate time for him when you walk with him, communicate, educate him and simply participate in his life.

An abortion is not always necessary, especially if you and your wife do not have children or you are already thinking about having a child while being single. You don't have to have a relationship with your lover. However, you will have to establish your paternity by taking a DNA test and adding you as the father on the child’s birth certificate if your mistress begins to resist this. Establishing you as the child's father will give you the opportunity to participate in his life as a full-time parent without the consent of his mother.

Bottom line

The pregnancy of a mistress is actually not always a tragedy, as men are usually used to reacting to such news. You are not obligated to divorce your wife and start a family with your mistress, no matter what anyone says. If you have fears about your wife who might find out about everything, then that's a different question. However, the child does not oblige you to anything unless you want it yourself. It is better to love your child; he is not to blame for anything, since all your conflicts arise with your mistress, and not with him personally.

Love triangles, unfortunately, are a common occurrence these days. Cheating on a spouse, even after many years of marriage, is not easy to bear. However, a much more serious blow to a woman’s feelings, pride and the entire family structure is the fact that her husband’s mistress is pregnant.

Such news forces even anger and resentment towards an unfaithful spouse to be pushed into the far corner. They are replaced by hopelessness, powerlessness and a lack of understanding of how to live on, when it will no longer be possible to forget the betrayals of your husband and move on without thinking about it.

After all, it will be a constant reminderpregnant lover, and later - a child in that other family. Strange, unexpected and dividing your family life into two halves, where you are not destined to return to the cloudless past.

What kind of life and family your spouse chooses, or whether he will remain forever a restless pendulum between two houses and women’s destinies will largely depend on you. And if your husband is still dear to you, then you will have to learn to live in new conditions and reality. Take into account the interests of all participants in this difficult triangle, without sacrificing your own happiness and peace of mind.

Sooner or later, you will have to make a decision about the future of your family, so let's try to figure it out together.how to get over your husband's betrayaland improve your life. may be useful in the current situation.

How to forgive your husbandand survive betrayal?

You can get a great deal of sensible advice for all occasions, but don’t forget one simple truth:For advice to work, it must be applied.. If you don’t take a step forward, you will forever remain where you are now.

Tip 1: Don’t isolate yourself and take your mind off bad thoughts.The support of family and friends or a trip away from home for a couple of days will help you. This way you will take a time out and be able to collect your thoughts alone. And your spouse will get a chance to realize the consequences of his frivolity. Nothing contributes more to making responsible male decisions than the fear of losing a family and a familiar way of life that has been built together for many years.

Tip 2: Revenge is a bad friend when serious decisions need to be made.There is zero benefit from such behavior, but a weakened nervous system and poor health are guaranteed. Life itself will put everything in its place without your participation. Your task now is to think about your own happiness, and not try to add problems to everyone around you. Do not try to take revenge on your husband in his own way and start affairs on the side. After all, not only your already shaky relationship with him will suffer from this, but also the children, who are not to blame for anything and should not suffer because of the squabbles of parents who are confused in their lives.

Tip 3: Go to a psychologist to calm down and discuss further actions with a specialist.After all, how competently and calmly you approach such a sensitive issue may determine whether you and your spouse will remain a single family, or whether each of you will have to build your life anew. Watch the video from Danila Delichev to let go of resentment, anger and aggression

Tip 4: Calmly and without reproach, talk frankly with your husband to come to a joint decision.After all, now the first place is not even the fact of betrayal, but the fact that a child will soon appear. Can you afford your husband to live in two houses or at least take care of this child and visit him? Much will depend on the answer to this question.

Before the conversation, you must first decide for yourself: are you ready to forgive your spouse?? Will you be able to trust him again, despite the betrayal? Do you agree to accept the fact that from now on, part of your husband’s attention and his finances will belong not only to your family? Are you able to wisely put up with this, or is the pain from the betrayal experienced the strongest, and you will not be able to continue communicating with your husband?

If the answer to the questions is negative, then further discussion can only be about divorce. But if you thinkhow to save a marriage, despite the difficulties, fight for your happiness and conduct a dialogue with your husband until you can come to a peaceful solution.

Tip 5: Fight for family happiness, but don’t pull the blanket on yourself.If the pregnancy of the husband's mistress does not end in abortion and the child is born, the interests of the baby will have to be taken into account.

You must be prepared that the child's father will have to help him financially and meet with him at least from time to time. Do not interfere with the natural impulse of a father, because your aggression and reluctance to share your husband with your newborn child can lead to a breakup and even the departure of your spouse to another family.

The main thing is not to let the interests of your family and children fade into the background. Therefore, your task is to give care and understanding to your spouse, but to remind you in time about what necessary expenses your family and children need.

Over time, passions will subside, and life will enter a new, but familiar rhythm for you. A slight tinge of bitterness and resentment will linger over the relationship, perhaps for many more years. But remember that Each of us has the right to make mistakes in this life. As well as the right to correct it.

Give your spouse a chance to continue their life without regrets and without the rift between warring families. Your support and understanding is not only the answer to the question,how to forgive your husband, but also an opportunity to prove that being in a relationship with you is more comfortable and pleasant than listening to the claims and whims of your mistress.

Perhaps you lost a battle one day and that's why another child came along. But only you have the power to end this war and build a future life in the world.

Treason has existed at all times. However, only at the present time people still cannot overcome this “relationship disease”, although they are quite equal, self-sufficient and independent. in the hope that her husband will be faithful. However, it becomes much more difficult to accept the news of betrayal if the husband also happens to be pregnant.

Psychologists will not insist that you calm down, pull yourself together and remain calm. It's almost impossible! A woman who trusted her husband and remained faithful herself will always be shocked by the news that her husband has a mistress, and who is also pregnant. The wife will initially experience anger, anger, depression and deep disappointment.

You need to allow yourself to experience the whole range of feelings. The only condition is not to delay in order to begin to resolve the situation. First, allow yourself to experience the emotions that arose as a result of your husband’s infidelity and the pregnancy of his mistress, and then after some time, proceed to other decisive actions.

How to proceed?

If you find out about your husband’s betrayal, whose mistress also happens to be pregnant, you are probably overwhelmed with emotions. How to proceed after those few days when you allowed yourself to get angry and blame your spouse and his mistress for all the troubles? Now you need to realize that you need to act and be responsible for the consequences of your actions.

Start with the following:

1. Take control of your emotions. Don't do it harshly. Just start to understand that you can be angry and grieve for the rest of your life, but you suffer from it and waste your own time. If you don’t want to suffer all your life, then it’s time to put your emotions aside and start solving the problem.

What you think about what happened depends largely on your desires and feelings. If you still love your husband, then you can think about what pushed him to cheat. It will be more pleasant to think that everything is his fault. However, a man will never go to the left unless certain factors contribute to this. Surely something was not going very well in the relationship between the spouses, which is why the man decided to commit a treacherous act.

The fact that you find out the reason for what happened does not justify the man. Whether he deserves your trust or love is up to you to decide based on how the man will behave and whether you are ready to forgive him. However, you should understand that if you forgive your husband too quickly, he will not “learn” his lesson and will not appreciate your nobility.

Why don't many men return to those who beg them to? Why do men more often choose calm women than emotional ones? Why can a man mercilessly turn away from the one who cries because of him? The answer is quite simple: men are logical creatures and they do not like being pressured for pity.

Women are emotional. This is good when you need to show a man how interested you are in him, or to be creative in order to create your own unique external image of a lovely lady. But when it comes to solving serious issues, emotions only aggravate the situation. And since men are more realistic and down-to-earth, they don’t like it when a woman starts to have her head in the clouds and push for pity. A man will prefer someone who knows how to balance between emotions and logic. Therefore, it is necessary to keep your emotions under control.

It's actually not that hard for a woman to achieve this if you believe it. Just calm down and understand one fact: it is better to see, accept and understand what is already happening than to brush it off with your hands in the hope that the unpleasant thing will disappear. With your emotions, you try to brush aside the unpleasant. But how can you make death disappear (if a person has died) or a child appear (if you are not pregnant). Reality needs to be seen and accepted, no matter how unpleasant it may seem to you. Balance between reason, when you understand what is happening, are clearly aware of where you need to retreat and where you need to push, and emotions, when you can simply be happy about something or have fun discussing pleasant topics.

Keep your emotions under control. Men prefer women who know how to have fun and get back into real life, accepting even what they may not like. With pure emotionality, you can only attract an equally emotional and stupid man who will have his head in the clouds, not wanting to face reality. Therefore, learn to think with your head even when emotions overwhelm you. Make decisions based on logic and the realities of life, so that you don’t regret your actions later. This is in your own interests, because a man, first of all, wants to see an adult woman next to him, and not a stupid girl.

So, we've grieved and that's enough. It's time to solve pressing problems.

1. Analyze what happened. You should understand how long the man dated his mistress, from whom she is actually pregnant, how the husband treats his mistress and her pregnancy. All the answers will allow you to make the right decision. Of course, you can just leave without understanding anything. However, if it is important for you to understand whether the betrayal was a mistake or an intentional act that lasted a long time, you need to understand the situation.

Have you ever said to yourself: “Why did I do this? I just succumbed to my emotions and didn’t do what I wanted.” Emotions are indicators of exactly how you feel about a particular situation. If you feel joy, it means you enjoy the event. If you feel angry or sad, it means that something does not suit you. Emotions are only indicators of your attitude towards a specific situation, but they never help solve the problem.

Don't give in to your own emotions. Note, do not fight your feelings, namely, do not give in. Understand exactly how you feel about a particular situation; your emotions will help you understand this. But as soon as you start solving the problem itself, disconnect from your own feelings.

Emotions often distort your perception and also cause you to defend yourself rather than solve the problem. Please note that people often make excuses, scream, threaten, cry, snap, and take revenge when something unpleasant happens in their lives. But all this is an indicator that they succumb to their emotions, while they do not solve the problem that has arisen, but simply try to protect themselves and their interests from the enemy.

While you are defending yourself, you are not solving the problem, but are just waging war. You are trying to forcibly humiliate yourself or another person so that only the interests of one of the parties are taken into account. But in this way the problem is not solved, because when the “defeated” person calms down and understands how he was deceived, he returns to solving the problem again. Therefore, do not give in to your own emotions. If you want to solve the problem, and not make enemies and eventually return to the unresolved issue, then turn off your emotions, calm down and soberly realize what you want to achieve as a result of solving the problem.

Make contact with your opponent, understanding that he also has his own interests. “I have to solve the problem,” scroll this thought through your head. And in order to achieve your goal, you must be engaged in discussing the problem, and not in the desire to offend, humiliate or blame someone for something.

Make contact with your opponent to show him that you want to find a compromise that will take into account the interests of all participants in the process. Therefore, you must jointly focus your efforts on solving the problem, and not on defeating each other. If you want to put an end to an unpleasant situation, then you will have to take into account the interests of your opponent, but at the same time firmly and clearly express your opinion. The most important thing is that you do not give in to your own emotions, because you will be fighting, not solving the problem. This in turn will lead to the fact that the problem will not be solved, and your war will never end until you peacefully sit down and talk about what you need to do so as not to return to the issue.

A man will lie and make excuses for his betrayal - this is a reason to think again about how much you need him. If a man admits everything and repents, then you can think about forgiving him.

Separating from your husband is very easy. If he does not break up with his mistress and continues his relationship with her, then this will be the right way out. However, if a man breaks off relations with his mistress and decides on his own about her pregnancy, then you can pause and see how it all ends.

Reasons for betrayal

The reasons for men's infidelity do not in any way relieve them of guilt, although the point is that the man had factors that pushed him to cheat. And these reasons are:

1. Disagreements with your spouse.
2. Fading feelings for her.
3. We have been leading separate lives for a long time now.
4. Lack of intimacy or rare sex.

Sooner or later, a man wants to remember his masculinity again, and his mistress helps him with this. However, now the wife needs to decide how.

1. Don’t isolate yourself, but communicate with loved ones, friends and other people.
2. Go on vacation for a while, to relax.
3. Go to a psychologist to consult with him on how to survive betrayal.
4. Take care of yourself: your appearance, emotional state, life.
5. Don't think about revenge. You can take revenge, but your husband will not return after that.
6. Do not start a relationship without commitment in order to take revenge or forget your husband. In this way you only harm yourself.

Should you save your marriage if your husband cheated and his mistress is pregnant? Each woman will answer this question herself. However, psychologists advise remaining flexible. If the husband asks for forgiveness, tries to get his wife back and leaves his mistress, resolving the issue of her pregnancy, then you can think about restoring the marriage bond. However, if the husband doesn’t even lift a finger when his wife leaves him, then it’s time to separate. Perhaps the mistress was just a reason for the wife to leave her husband.

And now a few words to the lovers:

1. Having an affair with a married man will not make you happy. In rare cases, men leave families on their own initiative. And with your presence you only destroy someone else’s family and corrupt a man.
2. Pregnancy will most likely be a blessing only for you. But your lover may leave you, which will leave you alone with the baby and all your obligations.
3. If you found out about a man’s status only after your pregnancy, then you should break up with such a man. He has already betrayed one wife. Do you want him to betray you in the future?
4. Happiness cannot be achieved by breaking up someone else's family. Such a man clearly cannot make a woman happy. Better learn to love yourself and look for a partner who does not deceive or betray anyone.

Bottom line

Ideally, a man should be punished for his actions: his wife should leave him, and his mistress should file for alimony. Both women should leave a man who does not value either family values ​​or the loyalty of his ladies, since with such a partner no lady will definitely be happy.