How to unite bee colonies. A meeting is a wonderful way to unite a family. How to unite children in a family.

How often it happens that people live under the same roof, but remain strangers to each other.

Tips for Family Meetings

1. Hold meetings once a week , choosing a time that will ensure the presence of all family members. Do not change this time in the interests of one or another family member.

2. Turn off during this time telephone so that no one can interfere with you. This will help your children understand that these meetings are important events for the whole family.

3. Decisions should be made on the basis of family unanimity, and not the will of the majority. If after discussion you do not achieve general agreement, then the decision is postponed until the next meeting. Strive to make decisions that benefit everyone. Let everyone commit to supporting the decision made.

4. At every meeting choose a new leader and the secretary (in turn). All family members should support the leader in every possible way. The secretary's role is to keep a record of what was discussed and what decisions were made. This is necessary so that during the week there are no disagreements on the decisions made.

5. Start the meeting with encouraging remarks to each family member. Use words like: “I really like that you...” or “I appreciate that you...” Teach children to respond with words of gratitude to praise addressed to them.

6. Family routines and meeting “agendas” are best posted in a visible place to remind everyone of what they have to do.

7. Teach children that their complaints are accompanied by options for solving the problem they are facing.

Remember that the person who is not involved in solving the problem becomes part of the problem.

8. At the meeting, review the schedule for each day of the coming week, providing for joint activities of all family members.

9. To make meetings more productive, hold them in a common room, removing unnecessary objects from the table and arranging chairs so that those sitting face facing each other . Under no circumstances should meetings be held over food.

10. Always end meetings on a cheerful and pleasant note . The “ending” is left to the host to choose. You can offer a light and unusual snack, some sweet dish for evening tea, exciting game or something else interesting for everyone.

11. If your children have no desire to attend such meetings, monitor your actions, which may discourage children from participating in them.

1.2. If someone does miss a meeting, they must still abide by the decisions made at the meeting.

13. Make sure everyone leaves the meeting feeling satisfied.

I am sure that even after several meetings you will feel that a period of harmony and mutual understanding is beginning in the family.

In the life of a traditional family, the table was the social center of the home, the place where people ate their bread, on the availability of which their physical life depended, and at the same time the place around which the family structure was built as a model of human society. Therefore, the attitude towards the table as a sacred place was comprehensively regulated in the Russian tradition. It was forbidden to place foreign objects or elbows on it, or to use foul language at the table. There had to always be bread on it so that it would not be transferred in the house, etc. In general, the table was perceived as the palm of God extended to people, and in a sense as a home throne.

We can say that in the space of a house, the degree of “objectification” usually expresses the “measure of presence” of each of the family members. It’s bad when one person fills everything around, crowding out others. It’s bad when there is an unfortunate outcast in the house who does not have his own living space and even his own place - a bed, desk, closet or shelf.

And vice versa, in friendly, well-organized families, where each family member is respected and unique, and relationships are built, usually everyone remembers where whose place is, where who likes to sit, and cups are placed accordingly: for dad - with the ship, for mom - with a rose, grandma’s favorite - with blue leaves, granddaughter’s - with a cockerel, etc.

Sometimes it is important to emphasize the importance of a family member and express respect for him through his symbolic things. This is your place - no one can take it but you; this is your cup - it will not be given to a random guest; this is your table - you are its owner, no one will restore order here without asking you.

Symbolic things help to structure the space of the house as a field in which family members live and interact. Through such things, one can consolidate a position and enhance the effect of a person’s presence, and improve his relationships with others.

So, the home becomes the first social space for the child, where the relationships of family members with each other are symbolically fixed in the objective environment. It is in his daily home experience that a small child first learns the meaning of possessive speech forms - yours, mine, father's, mother's - through the awareness of the ownership of personal things that simultaneously personify each of the family members. It is known that younger children think in complex concepts. They are a set of elements associated with each other.

So, “Papa” is a big bearded man who is so pleasant to sit on his lap, and his leather chair, and his desk littered with books, and his cup with a blue ship, and the sound of his voice, and many other things and events related to it.

Each family member usually has his own “zones of influence” at home, tends to occupy certain places, and is represented by his own symbolic things.

For a child’s understanding of the social space of the family, joint meals are a very important event. Family breakfasts, lunches and dinners begin with setting the table. In this action, the child often takes part in all possible ways: he counts all family members, lays out spoons, forks, etc. (In this case, he may miss himself, because he is not visible to himself.) The space of the set table, in fact, is a field of objectified relationships of all family members. Arranged plates and cutlery indicate the place and personal space allocated for each participant in the meal.

The plate is the area of ​​personal responsibility of its owner. It is filled with food that is said to be “mine.” Here, for many children, the topic of fair sharing first appears - in this case, dividing the total volume of food between eaters, dividing space at the table, etc. - and the idea of ​​​​everyone's individual share. At the same time, an individual person is a participant (i.e., part) of the company that has gathered at the table and represents something whole that influences everyone. The material embodiment of this community will be the single space of the table, around which everyone sits, and common objects - a salad bowl, a bread bowl, a salt shaker, a sugar bowl, where lies what everyone needs.

The need to use common objects at the table immediately confronts the child with the problem of cooperation in the common object-social space of the feast: either to reach the necessary objects himself, or to resort to the help of another person. But how? It is important here that parents understand the pedagogical meaning of this situation.

There are parents who are simple-minded and materialistic. They understand food as a physiological process of satiation and pay little attention to relationships at the table.

There are parents who consider it their duty to teach their children formal etiquette when eating: not to slurp, know how to use a knife and fork, know the necessary politeness formulas (“Please pass the bread”).

But there are parents who understand that a family meal at a common table is one of the most important home situations where the child learns to become aware of himself in the common space of interactions with other people. Here the child develops an understanding of such basic relationships as mine-yours, general-personal, an understanding of his place in a group of people and relationships of subordination (who is more important in this situation, what and to whom can be done, and what cannot be done). Here he becomes acquainted with the problem of subordination and equality, fair distribution of something, the relationship between his own desires and limited capabilities, and gets used to taking into account both present and absent family members.

What is important for the teacher is that all these rather abstract concepts are clearly presented to the child sitting at the table in how the table is set and how the participants in the feast behave. In a crude material sense, to satisfy hunger, it makes no difference whether you drink soup directly from the pan, take it in a plate to your room, or eat the same soup at the common family table.

From a psychological point of view, these three options are fundamentally different in their internal attitudes towards themselves and other people. Each of them forms a certain type of interpersonal relationships.

This is equally visible in many other situations. For example, a child doesn’t like a carrot floating in the soup, catches it, and... one puts it on the edge of his own plate, and the other throws everything he doesn’t like onto his mother’s plate, who finishes it “so that the product doesn’t go to waste.” But at the same time, the mother unconsciously strengthens the child’s confidence that if he doesn’t like something, then he can push it into the living space of another person, shifting responsibility for the unpleasant onto him.

For a psychologist, the space of a set table with family members sitting around is somewhat like a chessboard with pieces placed in a certain position. Just as an experienced chess player instantly reads the balance of power on the board, so a good psychologist will feel the spirit of the family at the table, the peculiarities of the relationships of its members and the position of everyone in the family group.

1. The Importance of Family Rituals
3. Summer holidays with a baby

Don't talk about "just lucky." There is no such thing as simple luck family life. Family is a huge work, which can only be done by those who are always unconditionally nearby, in any life circumstances.

Ekaterina Sivanova

I have a dream to start traveling, but my children are still small. True, I know many who are not stopped by this...

I have a dream to work remotely, but how to start when my current job takes up all my time. After all, you can’t leave your family without income. True, I recently read (read) how a family parted with their jobs in six months and began an interesting life...

There is a dream to move to the village (to the city), but what to do with an established life? Apartment, car, work. True, some of my friends somehow sorted everything out and still live as they want...

Sounds familiar?

Why do some families manage to realize their dreams, while others face obstacle after obstacle, a lot of fears and difficulties?

Why are there families who take risks and win, and others who only dream?

Why are you waiting for a “happy occasion”, and your friends organized this “accident” for themselves?

The secret is simple - the family should be a single organism, thinking “one way” , otherwise it turns out like in Krylov’s fable about a swan, crayfish and pike:

When there is no agreement among comrades,
Things won't go well for them,
And nothing will come out of it, only torment.

Often I meet such families, living like this - everyone dreams and thinks about themselves, and communication is about children and current affairs.

And of course, sometimes there are the obligatory conversations “about life” - I wish I could move, I wish I could change jobs, I wish I could start traveling. They talked, sighed, each thought about their fears - and continued to live the same life.

When a person is alone, his dreams and intentions concern him alone; when a family is created, family dreams should appear and family plans and intentions should be created!

How to achieve such cohesion and mutual understanding?

It is necessary to purposefully and consciously create a family in which at first there will only be a husband and wife, and with the advent of children, each grown-up child will be able to harmoniously become a member of such a family team.

Very soon the next group on teaching families about family interaction will start - 5 weeks, more than 20 hours of video recordings, 5 online sessions, constant support in closed groups - the result is inevitable!

*To register for the training, click on the image below

Let's first define the concept of “team”.

According to one meaning, a team is a group of individuals acting in concert to achieve a specific goal.

Accordingly, we come to the conclusion that to create a family-team, a PURPOSE is necessary.

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So, the first task is for you
— what is your family’s goal at the moment? Write in the comments!

* - the goal must be agreed upon between you and your spouse.

** - at first the goals may be small - but they must relate to a qualitative change in the life of the family (that is, this is not the purchase of another car or apartment)

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So, I hope you have decided on the goal.

And the next step towards creating a family team and developing a “single path” is COMMUNICATION.

Constant communication about the goal.

How we will achieve what we need to do, how we want to live, what thoughts you have, what thoughts your loved one has, what paths we know, who we can take as an example, who we can meet and communicate with, how to change our lives, etc.

When a family has a common goal and you start thinking in the same direction, a magical thing happens. Suddenly people appear in your life who will tell you what to do, the necessary information comes to you, your relationships again become romantic and unpredictability - because you have to CO-OP ADVENTURE!

And yet, you suddenly just can win your chance - as it happened with us.

When a common dream to travel appeared and we began to actively discuss it, eventually believing that everything would work out - we won a trip to Tenerife, which was the start of our almost two-year family “trip”.

So, let's summarize.

To make dreams come true with the whole family, you need to create a team from the family.

To create a family team, you need a common goal (perhaps this is your dream).

To bring the goal closer (the fulfillment of a dream) and strengthen the “team spirit”, you need to think about the goal, talk about the goal, and believe in it.

Of course, a lot still needs to be done for everything to work out. But the main secret is in front of you.

Start small - start with a dream together. Talk about it enough to believe it. Then plan, discuss. And changes will come!

If you want to get " step by step instructions "family interaction, goal setting and planning" steps to your dream"- I invite you to my new training

Everyone knows that female hysteria is strength. But there is an even more powerful force. This is a quiet cry. No howling, no wringing of hands and no banging your head against the wall. Only sincerely suffering old people and children can cry like this. Well, and also women who suddenly stopped deceiving themselves - stopped telling themselves that a fairy tale is possible. That you can ignore the obvious, pretend that you have no idea how it will all end. Love did not die, but the dream... The dream died quietly from a blow to the ribs.

Elena Lobanova. Limit

The worst thing that can happen is if you stop dreaming. Stop believing that dreams come true. This will be the end. The end of joy and happiness.

Believe in your star, in your specialness, in the uniqueness of your family, in your dreams together!

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We are all different, and even, being family, we have our own interests, priorities and goals. Therefore, it is extremely important to maintain a friendly atmosphere in the family and create traditions that lead to family unity. Guardian family hearth There has always been a woman, and more often than not it is she who asks the question of how to unite the family. But, of course, this cannot be done without the help of relatives. We offer several ways to strengthen family relationships and bring elements of warmth and love into life.

Family unity: creating our own traditions

2)" red plate" You may have already heard about a similar tradition. Its essence lies in the fact that throughout the day this plate is used by the family member who has a special event today, and maximum attention is paid to him. This could be celebrating a birthday, celebrating a promotion at work, getting a driver's license or getting an excellent grade in school.

3)Culinary day. In many families, this tradition can become permanent. If you have a special dish that you prepare only for the arrival of guests, you can make an exception and designate a special day for your family to eat this “yummy”. This way, everyone in the family will feel loved and will definitely look forward to this day.

4)Walking together. Set aside one day a week that you can devote to your family - this could be a trip to the zoo, a swimming pool, shopping together, or a trip to the mountains. The main thing is to warn everyone at home in advance about the upcoming “going out”, and, taking into account everyone’s interests, choose an option for a walk that everyone likes. Every Sunday we can all go together to where mom first wants, next week we can go to the place where dad likes, and so on.

5)Preparation for sleep. Of course, in modern realities you don’t often see families where going to bed is a family tradition. Children play with gadgets, parents stay late at work, and there is no time to quietly read a book before bed or tell fairy tales. However, if family unity is a priority for you, take note that before going to bed, be sure to wish each other good night and kiss each other, so everyone will feel love loved one and fall asleep in a good mood.

6)Giving gifts. Let it be a good tradition for your family to present gifts not only on major holidays, but also on ordinary days. These can be keychains, “lucky” cookies, small “bags of joy” - you can put candy in it and, handing it over, say that they are not simple, but magical - after all, you have said a lot of good and pleasant wishes into this bag!

Now you know how to bring your family together, let peace and happiness reign in your home, and let joyful events happen as often as possible!