Memories from deep childhood are inaccessible to people, as well as the memory of the moment of their birth. What is it connected with? Why don't we remember how we were born? Indeed, some vivid impressions seem to be imprinted in the subconscious and then remain there forever, and such a mentally and physically important moment as birth is simply erased from the "subcortex". Numerous theories from psychology, human physiology, as well as ideas drawn from religion, will help to understand such a mysterious phenomenon.
World beliefs in the secrets of the universe and offer their own idea of why a person does not remember how he was born. It's all about the soul - it is in it that all the information about the days lived, emotions, successes and failures is stored, which the human brain, like its physical body, cannot accept and, accordingly, decipher. On the 10th day of the existence of the embryo, the soul inhabits it, but only for a while, and 30-40 days before the moment of birth, it is completely introduced into the mortal body. Why don't we remember how we were born? Because the body cannot perceive the information that the soul possesses. The energy clot seems to protect all data from the brain, thereby preventing the possibility of unraveling the mystery of the creation of man. The soul is immortal, the body is just a shell.
Why don't we remember how we were born? From the point of view of science, this phenomenon is explained by the strong stress that accompanies the birth process. Pain, changes in body parts, progress through the birth canal - all this is a difficult transition for a child from a warm, reliable mother's womb to an unfamiliar world.
The formation of memory is directly related to the growth of the human body. The subconscious of an adult person captures moments from life and stores them, but in children everything happens a little differently. Emotions and experiences, as well as the moments associated with them, are stored in the "subcortex", but at the same time, the memories preceding them are erased, since the children's brain, due to its insufficient development, is simply not able to store an abundance of information. That's why we don't remember our childhood and how we were born. From about six months to a year and a half, a child develops a memory: long-term and short-term. At this age, he begins to recognize his parents and close circle, finds objects on request, orients himself in his house.
So why don't we remember how we were born? Another interpretation of the absence of early childhood memories is explained by the fact that the baby cannot yet associate certain events with words, since he does not know how to speak and does not yet know about the existence of the words themselves. The absence of memories of childhood in psychology is called infantile amnesia.
According to many scientists, the problem with children's memory is, rather, not that they do not know how to create memories, but that the child's subconscious saves everything he has experienced in. This explains why a person does not remember the moment of his birth, and why that some even the brightest moments of life are erased over time.
The world celebrity, thanks to which significant advances in medicine and psychology were made, created his own interpretation of why we remember childhood so badly. Accordingly, a person blocks information about life events when the age has not yet reached three to five years, due to sexual attachment to one of the parents of the opposite sex to the child, and aggression towards the other. For example, a boy at an early age has a strong unconscious connection with his mother, while being jealous of his father and, as a result, hates him. Therefore, at a more conscious age, memories are blocked by the subconscious as negative and unnatural. However, the theory of Sigmund Freud did not gain recognition in scientific circles, it remained just a one-sided view of the Austrian psychologist on the lack of memories of childhood.
Why a person does not remember his birth, according to the research of this doctor, is directly related to the following: the child does not yet identify himself as a separate person. Therefore, memory cannot be preserved, since children do not know what exactly of what is happening around is their personal experience, emotions and feelings, and what is the result of the life of strangers. For a small child, everything is the same.
The child easily navigates in his home and does not get confused when he is asked to show which of his parents is mom and who is dad, thanks to semantic memory. It is there that the memories of the world around him, important for the survival of a person, are stored. Due to the information contained in the long-term "storage", the child quickly finds where his favorite treat is, in which of the rooms he will be fed and watered, who his mother or father is. Why don't we remember how we were born? This moment can be explained by the fact that the subconscious interprets this event from life as an unnecessary and dangerous phenomenon for the psyche, keeping it in the short term, and not in
Participation in a survey conducted by doctors from Toronto, took 140 children, whose age ranged from three to thirteen years. The essence of the experiment was that all participants were asked to talk about the three earliest memories. The results of the study proved that younger children remember moments from early childhood more clearly, and those over the age of 7-8 years cannot recall the details of life situations experienced that were previously told.
Paul Frankland. Exploring the hippocampus
The hippocampus is part of the brain. Its main function is the transportation and "archiving" of human memories. Canadian scientist P. Frankland became interested in his activities and role in preserving the memory of what is happening around. Having examined this “archiver” of the brain in more detail, the scientist came to the conclusion that why we do not remember how we were born, as well as what our childhood was like up to 2-3 years old, is interpreted as follows: every person is born with an underdeveloped hippocampus , which prevents the normal storage of the received information. In order for the hippocampus to begin to function normally, it takes years - a person grows, and he develops. Up to this point, childhood memories are scattered all over the nooks and crannies of the cerebral cortex.
Even when the hippocampus begins to work, it is not able to collect all the information from the back streets of memory and build a kind of bridge to it. Therefore, there are so many people who do not remember their childhood before the age of three, and so few who remember themselves younger than 2-3 years. This study explains why we don't remember how we were born and raised until we reach adulthood.
Scientists have found that, in addition to educational factors and genetic inheritance, memories of childhood are influenced by the place where a person lives. During the experiment, which involved children from Canada and China from 8 to 14 years old, a four-minute survey was conducted about their lives. As a result, the little inhabitants of the Celestial Empire were able to tell less than the Canadian guys in the allotted time.
Children are less receptive to moments in life associated with sounds; for them, those events in which they could see and feel something are more important. However, the fear and pain experienced by a person at a younger age are more often replaced over time by other, more positive memories. But it also happens that some individuals remember pain, suffering and sadness better than happiness and joy.
It is worth noting that the child remembers more sounds than the outlines of objects. For example, hearing the voice of his mother, a crying baby instantly calms down.
Psychologists often resort to immersing their patients in a trance state in order to solve a particular problem, as they say, all our fears come from childhood. Getting into the past, a person during a hypnosis session, without knowing it, can talk about the most hidden, deepest memories. However, not everyone manages to look into the earliest moments of life - according to numerous experiments, the subconscious seems to be building an insurmountable wall that protects the experienced emotions from prying eyes.
Many esotericists also use hypnosis to help a person learn about their past lives, memories from childhood and even infancy. But this method of obtaining information is not scientifically confirmed, so the stories of some "lucky ones" who have known the moment of their birth often turn out to be fiction and a professional publicity stunt.
“My brother is happy to talk about how we built huts in the country, recalls our disputes, and quarrels, and how, secretly from our parents, we fed a stray dog ... I don’t have any memories,” 34-year-old Elizabeth is surprised .
Psychophysiologist Yuri Grinchenko recalls that the brain records everything that happens to us: "This information continues to be stored and does not disappear anywhere." What are the reasons for such amnesia?
“The inability to remember, as a rule, is not associated with memory loss, but with an unconscious desire to forget the past,” explains child psychoanalytic psychologist Natalia Zueva. - Forgetfulness protects against moments of shame or humiliation experienced in childhood, feelings of grief or acute loneliness. It also protects from pleasant sensations that are prohibited.
In this way, for example, the sexual arousal experienced while playing with a brother or sister can be “forgotten” - and with it the game itself, and the whole day, and sometimes a more significant period of time, goes into darkness. If such a memory comes up, it will lead to hurtful experiences in the present.
Refusal to remember can be quite conscious if a person, for one reason or another, wants to cross out some period from life.
“Until the seventh grade, I was a real outsider,” recalls 30-year-old Yulia. - Then we moved, and in the new school, where no one knew me, I firmly decided that I would not allow anyone else to mistreat me. I erased the previous seven years of my life from memory and started all over again.
Reclaiming our memories, we restore our integrity
As psychoanalyst Virginie Meggle explains, “Those who avoid their memories are not ready to recognize in themselves the child they once were and who still lives in them. They are afraid that, having allowed the past to come to life, they will find there instead of themselves a different, unpleasant creature. It's really just a scared child who needs love."
Another reason for "forgetfulness" is the rules of conduct adopted in the family.
“When there are secrets and secrets in the house, the child learns, by watching the elders, not to ask questions about the past, which means not to have a memory,” says Natalia Zueva. “He involuntarily obeys these rules of communication and applies them (intentionally or out of habit) to his own past.” For example, information about relatives who have ended up in prison, about previous marriages of parents, illegitimate children or illnesses can fall into the zone of silence ...
However, “each of us is the story of our life,” emphasizes Natalia Zueva. “And if we delete something from it, then we live only a part of ourselves and cannot perceive the world in its entirety.” By regaining our memories, we restore our integrity.
“An event or experience in the past can cause such severe pain that you involuntarily try not to remember it,” says Natalia Zueva. - Try to find the boundaries of the forgotten. Ask yourself: what causes strong feelings? These emotions may be related to the current situation, or maybe they have already met in the past. When, why? The goal is to gradually trace the origin of negative emotions back to childhood.”
“Relive memories with the help of associations,” Yuri Grinchenko suggests. “They can be caused by objects preserved from childhood, toys or books ... If you succeed, visit the places where you grew up.” Watch the kids. At the sight of a little girl crying on a snowy hill while others ride down it, does your heart clench? The meaning of this experience will be revealed to you if you look into your own childhood.
Listening to others' stories about their childhood and being sensitive to your own feelings that arise during these stories, advises Virginie Meggle. Often it is enough to start an exchange of cases from life, and something is remembered. She recommends moderate reliance on family sources: "This is not an objective account of events, they can be interpreted and explained at their discretion."
But even such a subjective presentation helps us fill in the gaps in our history, Natalia Zueva believes. Especially if we manage to ask ourselves questions or compare different versions. Gradually expanding the past, we begin to accept ourselves more.
“I never liked to remember my childhood. In my memory, it looked somehow gloomy: angry kindergarten teachers, a school child, a tired mother - besides, she was often sick, and she had almost no strength left for me. But one day I thought: this can not be! If it had been so hopelessly black in my past, I simply would not have been able to grow up as a normal person ... And I forced myself to remember.
At first it was very difficult and unpleasant. But other pictures gradually arose: how I was in the theater for the first time, how my mother and I went to the sea ... I still didn’t find out why these images didn’t come to me for so long, but I can say with confidence: it became much easier for me to live since I managed to restore something from my childhood in my memory.
Many people say that they would like to return to childhood - warm, cozy, carefree, with young (and alive) mothers and fathers, grandparents ... For all their tenderness for memories, these very memories are very few, fragmentary. Why does a person not remember childhood (meaning early)? After all, this time is so dear to us! ..
The memory of a small child is like an ocean. Gentle waves lull and optimistic for the rest of our lives, but the trace of each storm - although the storm eventually ends and the mirror of water is smoothed out - remains in us forever ... Maybe this is the answer to the question why people forget what happened to them in childhood?
Every person around the age of 7 loses all of their earliest memories. Why can almost every one of us say about himself: “I don’t remember anything from my childhood”? Unknown. Neurologists and psychiatrists cannot yet explain this phenomenon, called "childhood amnesia" and can only make assumptions.
Everyone agrees that it is in the first years of life that the character, the ability to learn and the perception of the world of a person are formed. Some even compare the human brain during this period with a mirror that reflects (but also remembers due to the development of certain neural networks) the emotions that “get” to us at this time.
A child loved and accepted by the family will be self-confident, creative and friendly towards the world of adults. And the unloved one? Offended? Overlooked, practically abandoned to the mercy of fate? Instead of focusing on understanding the world and self-development in the future, he will focus on repelling threats and preparing for defense. Such a child will later try to compensate for the feeling of anxiety and uncertainty by adopting a model of risky sexual behavior, bad habits, fits of anger, and overeating.
Moreover, many people who, as children, experienced strong grievances, look for sources of a sense of self-worth, dignity, not in themselves, but “outside” - in acceptance by others. Therefore, they are doomed to the eternal pursuit of praise and words of recognition, they live, forced to constantly do something, prove, receive regular awards. At the same time, they remain ruthless in assessing themselves, do not spare punishments and humiliations for themselves.
Until the fourth year of life, our personality is formed, and hence the way of functioning in society, psychologists explain. Many of the skills acquired at this time are so deeply rooted in us that they are no longer subject to the further process of education. The same applies, unfortunately, to the traumas experienced during this period. They also constantly shape our adult behaviors, preferences, and fears.
But why then does it happen that a person remembers almost nothing from early childhood (at the level of consciousness)? It is strange that we lose such an important (if not the most important) stage of our life.
Childhood amnesia extends for a period up to about 3 years. According to scientists, this may be due to the development of the brain, and specifically the hippocampus, which is the "home" for human memory. Old memories must give way to new ones. And so we forget. We cannot go back to the moment when father took us in his arms for the first time, or when we consciously saw mother's smile for the first time... Memories perish, although we were shaped earlier. Not all, however, disappear without a trace...
Neurologists know the concept of the stress axis. It turns out that traumatic, intense emotional experiences from childhood cause permanent changes in the brain. The axis runs from the hypothalamus through the pituitary gland to the adrenal glands responsible for releasing stress hormones and is responsible for our response to stress. If she is disturbed by strong negative emotions in the first months and years of childhood, then all our life we will react to such stimuli painfully sharply.
Perhaps nature simply protects our psyche, making it so that a person does not remember his childhood, “turning on” childhood amnesia and “turning off” memories of the first years of his stay in this world. Makes sure that possible psychological trauma does not cripple our future life. Perhaps we should not be offended by her, lamenting why I don’t remember my childhood, but thanking her for her forethought.
Despite the fact that the memory of the events of the first years of life has already left our consciousness, nevertheless, the echo of experienced emotions sometimes returns - in light fragments of vague memories or dreams. This means that childhood still has not gone away, it has remained with us forever, we just don’t remember it. Maybe for many of us it's for the best...
It's never too late for happy childhood, - says the famous American journalist Regina Brett, - but the second childhood depends only on ourselves. And these are not empty words. Some people had a difficult childhood. Others have difficult episodes in their lives. How to deal with these bad memories? Reboot with happiness...
Inside us live people who we were in every year of our lives. Three-year-old toddler who was bitten by a dog. A six-year-old girl who was lost by her mother at the mall. A ten-year-old child who was tickled has yet to peed. Thirteen-year-old shy pimply quiet girl. A sixteen-year-old girl who was not invited to the high school prom, and so on. We hide in the bodies of adults until someone presses the right button and wakes up one of these guys.
One day I went and bought myself booties. My mothers had eleven children. We don't have any children's books left. Mom did not save anything from our childhood, because all the things were passed on to the next child or were already second-hand.
The photo album is filled with pictures of the first four children. These pictures were taken by professionals, and the babies on the cards were smiling in perfect soft light. I was born fifth. There are simply no pictures of me as babies. Or maybe there is. Random shots: a baby in a playpen, in a crib, in a stroller, maybe it's me. Or Mary? Or Tom? Now you can't tell. I always felt sad that my mother did not keep any memorabilia of a unique and special baby named Regina. Perhaps that is why I carefully store all the things of my daughter.
But one day I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's time to create your own memorabilia. I bought a pair of white silk booties with mother-of-pearl buttons. These were my elegant slippers; I always dreamed that my mother would buy and keep these for me. I even chose a lovely rattle and declared that it was mine.
Such an act may seem stupid or strange, but it helped to slightly close the wound and build up a little scar tissue where the wound kept opening, where I kept falling through.
My parents gave me the best childhood they could. Better than both of them put together. Now I'm an adult and they can't make my childhood better. It's up to me.
I can look back and find the joy that was in my childhood. I can look at my life and the joy that is in it. I can look into the future and create the joy that can be in it. It's up to me.
What to do is up to you.
It's never too late for a happy childhood - so arrange it for yourself. This childhood depends on you.
Discussion
And of course with a fire.
went to put up a tent in the living room
Comment on the article "Day of happiness: 60 tips for adults on how to remember childhood"
At the dacha we try to grow all the berries of our region, children love to feast directly from the bushes, the whole family collects wild strawberries and blueberries. If possible, I try to prepare for the future: I freeze, grind with sugar. Remember one of the important components of proper nutrition - vegetables, fruits, berries? In addition to being a sweet and tasty treat, berries can do a lot for our body, as they contain vitamins, antioxidants, minerals, fiber and a host of other useful substances...
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Reminds me of my childhood :) - get-togethers. A child from 7 to 10. Thematic conferences, blogs work on the site, ratings of kindergartens and schools are maintained, articles are published daily and competitions are held.
Although I can’t say that I was unhappy in childhood - no, but I remember it as the most boring stage of my life. Starting from the age of 16, I like my life much more, but for the period of 16-20 years I sometimes get nostalgic, yes!
I remember my childhood. None of the relatives went to matinees, however, there was no time. But as soon as I saw my own grandmother, who walked past the fence of the garden to the store (the garden was in the yard) - that's it.
How will he remember his childhood? Or is a stormy social life with noisy holidays necessary, which we - the family - do not really like? I was very happy as a child and remember him with great warmth.
remembering childhood. Toys and games. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of household skills.
I remember with horror 7 years in a music school (from >. From 6 to 14 years old my childhood was KILLED by a music school. Having received a certificate, I locked the piano with a key and threw the key out the window.
I had a good childhood, I remember my parents with warmth, there were also very happy times, but there are so many painful memories: it’s embarrassing to remember something, you really regret something.
I remember my childhood... So close and far... With pain I remember the loss of a notebook with addresses. Especially then I cried because of the lost address of a girl from Moscow, half a year older than me.
Let's remember childhood! Girls, don’t take it for arrogance, but I remembered how once someone here discussed the name for the company, and I decided with my request to stick in, It’s just that no one can enter a teenage room in a day, but it’s always busy here.
Question to the psychologist:
Hello! I am 19 years old, unmarried, no children. I was raised by my mother and grandmother, my father already had another family, in which he remained, he came to me 2-3 times a year.
At 5-10 years old (I don’t remember exactly what time) my mother asked if I remember something about one case when I was 2-3 years old. I said no. The following happened: when my uncle came to us, and my mother and grandmother were distracted, he closed himself in the kitchen with me and did not let them in, although they screamed and broke, he just held the door with his hand (no, there was no violence, EXACTLY! , because before going to school it was necessary to check with a gynecologist), my mother said that I didn’t cry, but laughed, and then he opened the door and that’s it; Mom asked him about what he was doing and why he closed, but he didn’t answer, and I don’t remember anything.
This has been bothering me for more than a year, at school and college I didn’t ask psychologists about it, because somehow it’s not convenient for me and they then discussed all the problems of the students with their class teachers, and they already with their parents. I was afraid that they would misunderstand me, and I also never asked my mother and grandmother about this again, and even more so my uncle. I am writing to you because it is, after all, anonymous. I can’t remember, although I remember some moments of this age very vividly, maybe there is some kind of technique or something like that. Please tell me.
Hello Veronica!
There are different techniques for "causing deep memories": hypnosis, meditation, "spontaneous writing", shallow sleep, associative techniques, etc.
In principle, all these techniques are somehow connected with psycho-emotional relaxation and the subsequent "work" of consciousness and subconsciousness.
The scheme of one of the simplest ways of remembering is very simple:
1. Relax (take a comfortable position, relax your muscles, streamline your breathing, clear your head of thoughts and tasks, focusing on, for example, the movements of a pendulum, a candle flame, certain sound signals). How exactly to do this is described in 1,000,000 sources and is on the Internet. Moreover, everyone has their own ways of relaxation. Some people need a pendulum, and some don't. Someone reacts faster to meditative mantric music, and someone to a visual range (a candle, a transparent crystal, a ball, etc.)
Here you need to look for yourself and know, or contact a specialist hypnologist.
So... You relax. Now...
2. Visualize those memories that remain. Imagine a white screen and, as it were, "overlay" at least one "picture" from that episode on it. Whatever! It can be a fragment of that kitchen, a door, a figure, clothes, a face, etc. We must try to keep the focus of attention on this picture as much as possible, try to supplement this picture with details and additional strokes and colors. You are, as it were, "on the other side" of the camera. You are an operator. The focus is not on what you are doing inside the picture, but on the details of the picture itself! With the details will come the sensations, even the images that were there then! Gradually the entire screen will fill up. Moreover, not two-dimensional, but a voluminous, deep plot!
But this is all done only after achieving relaxation!
The main thing is not to rush and be just an "operator". There is no task to see something specific. The task is to see, "complete" the picture with as many details as possible.
And now - the main thing!
Veronica! How much do you really need it?
It seems to me that if everything is fine with you now, then it’s not worth remembering some difficult-to-explain episodes from childhood!
It is interesting to find out what is still hiding behind the "screen" of your anxiety, if you are sure that there was no violence.
You are now quite an adult living in the information space of the 21st century! You perfectly understand what happens in life in general and that, probably, God saved you (as well as your relative) from something, possibly irreparable.
What you (then quite a baby) experienced is hard to imagine! It's GONE! Gone, but if the network is anxiety, something neurotic remains.
Do I need to go back there to cope with this neurosis?
You know, I'm not sure!
I have my own opinion about what "work in progress" and "unfinished drama" are. Something must be played out and completed without fail, but something is better left in the depths of the subconscious.
After all, you do not have obsessive fears, some disturbing dreams, recurring panic attacks? There is what you called the word "anxiety".
Question to a psychologist: I am 36. She is 34. I have been married for 14 years. They dated for 2.5 years before getting married. 12 year old son, 4 year old daughter.
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