Help for boarding schools. How to help children if you have never done charity work. What is really needed

Dear site guests!
The orphanage really needs your help!

In 2010, Rassadina Arina, our champion in arm wrestling and orienteering, graduated from high school and entered adulthood. She really dreams about beautiful dress to the prom.

The girls try to sew pillows for themselves using embroidery and pick them up after leaving the orphanage; for this they need materials (fabric, tapestry, thread and printed material).
The guys had the opportunity to repair and assemble mechanisms. We really need spare parts for assembling go-karts.

The orphanage requires permanent work:
1. Educational psychologist with at least 10 years of experience (family consultations).
2. Additional education teacher (pop song, choreography)

You can help our children!
HOW:

Orphanage- a large family, and like every family there are difficult life situations: getting the children ready for school, last call, prom, purchasing for everyone all the necessary school supplies, briefcases, so fashionable today, but so expensive, workbooks in all subjects, sports uniforms, costumes for children’s performances and sports. Our children, just like those at home, or rather much more than those at home, need this, because they do not take care of things and do not know how to be responsible for something. Our children really need a change of environment, a warm, trusting relationship on the part of adults and loved ones, and to give them this warmth in orphanage It’s impossible, no matter how hard we try.

Excess energy should be directed in a positive direction: sports, choreography, work. It is very important to get children interested in these activities, so that it becomes not only a free pastime, but also a profession, a way of life, a core that would protect them from harm.

The state took care of the orphans, they are well fed, provided with summer and winter recreation, we have a lot of theaters, clubs that offer tickets to various events, a lot of gifts for New Year, but 50 boys and girls require constant attention and help, they constantly need medicine, vitamins, gifts for birthdays, they, like all ordinary children, really like gifts bought only for them, taking into account their interests, habits and wishes.

Our new details:
Our details have changed since 01/01/2010
Transfers by non-cash form:
Payment account 406 038 107 0000 3000009
in branch 1 of the Moscow State Technical University of the Bank of Russia, Moscow 705
BIC 044583001
L/account 079 859 2000 930 496
KBK 985.303.03.02002 0000180

Payment receiver:
(FKU South-Western Administrative District of Moscow)
Address of the recipient: 117574, Moscow, st. Vilniusskaya, 7, building 3

Payer: State educational institution Orphanage No. 37 of the Moscow Department of Finance
(FKU South-Western Administrative District of Moscow)

Transfers in cash:
Payment account 40116810300330000114
At OJSC "Bank of Moscow" Branch "Gagarinskoe"
BIC 044525219
Cor/account 30101810500000000219

A lot of time is now devoted to charity. Some help homeless animals, lonely old people and people with disabilities. Most volunteers prefer to help boarding schools and orphanages. Volunteers visit supervised shelters, arrange concerts and master classes for children, and bring gifts. The children in the orphanages most of all lack attention, so they are very happy about the guests and prepare for their arrival: they organize concerts, tea parties, and joint games. Therefore, if you want to give a piece of warmth to children, the volunteer movement will gladly accept anyone into its ranks, and will tell you the addresses of orphanages in Moscow, whose pupils are eagerly awaiting guests.

How to become a volunteer

It is not at all necessary to have a lot of money for this, because assistance to an orphanage can be not only material. The pupils are happy to wait not only for gifts, but also for the visitors themselves, because attention is so important to them, which is so lacking. You can join a group of volunteers, gather your team yourself, or visit an orphanage alone. Before visiting, be sure to find out what exactly you need to bring, what day is most convenient to come so that the pupils have time to prepare, and check the addresses of the orphanages. There are over 45 institutions for children in Moscow, many of them are specialized - for pupils with physical or psychological disabilities.

How can I help you?

There are a large number of orphanage addresses in Moscow, but not all accept used items. Therefore, before visiting, it is better to call the management and find out what kind of help is required. Many institutions are happy to accept not only things, but also stationery, toys, and educational games. Orphanages for children with disabilities take medications and care products: diapers, powders, creams, etc. But most of all, children need attention. Organizing concerts, festive evenings and master classes will be the best help for orphanages. Addresses in Moscow can be obtained from experienced volunteers.

Specialized orphanages

There are a large number of institutions for orphans in Moscow. It is important to understand that some of them are specialized; they care for students with various disabilities. Before visiting, check what type of institution it is so that help will be available to you. In Moscow, there are about 10 addresses of orphanages for mentally retarded children. The largest of them is located on Yuzhnobutovskaya Street, 19. More than 300 children with disabilities are brought up here. You can help with things, outdoor equipment for games, toys. You can also help clean the area, plant flowers, etc.

Another institution for children with disabilities in Moscow is orphanage No. 8, located at the address: Moscow, Borisovsky proezd, 3, building 3. You can bring things, educational games, and stationery.

Orthodox orphanages

Shelters at churches and monasteries have existed for a long time. Even in Tsarist Russia, they provided shelter for children who were left without parental care. They still exist today. Some of them are separate and accept either only boys or only girls. Orphanages are located in Moscow at the following addresses:

• st. Timiryazevskaya, house 22 - Orthodox orphanage "Pavlin"
• st. Bolshaya Ordynka, house 34, building 7 - Orthodox Elizabethan orphanage
• st. Krupskaya, house 12A - St. Sophia Social House.

These are just some of the Orthodox shelters. Addresses and telephone numbers can be obtained from church ministers. You can help not only with things, but also with organizing holidays and events with an Orthodox focus.

Orphanages for abandoned children

As a rule, such shelters house children who have been abandoned or whose parents have been deprived of parental rights. The pupils do not suffer from health limitations, but, just like disabled children, they need love and care. There are more than 20 such institutions in Moscow, and which one to choose to provide assistance is up to the volunteers to decide. Despite good government provision, there is always a shortage of simple things: office supplies, hygiene products, equipment and technology. Here are the addresses of some of them in Moscow:

• Orphanage No. 6, Pyatnitskaya street, house 40/42.
• Orphanage No. 4, Izmailovskoe highway, building 49A.
• Orphanage No. 3, Yunykh Lenintsev Street, building 96, building 2.

Where they are always waiting

Whatever the care and love of educators, it will not replace parental attention. Children really look forward to the arrival of visitors, not so much because of the gifts, but because of the lack of warmth. If you don’t have time for a long visit to the institution, you can simply give the students the necessary things. They must be new or not very worn, and have undergone special treatment. Shelters typically do not have the resources to dry clean used clothing. Therefore, it is better to process it in advance if you decide which orphanage in Moscow to give things to. The address and time of visit must be clarified in advance; not everyone is ready to receive guests at any time. You don’t have to bring everything to the shelter at once, because sometimes a little help can come in very timely!

Since the New Year is coming soon, and many will want to polish their karma by showering gifts on complete strangers in the nearest orphanage, I decided to show you one important text. I warn you right away: the text tells you why you can’t do this. And the point is not at all about ethical considerations (although there are those too), but about specific harm. But enough spoilers! Now you will find out everything for yourself.

Since I am not an expert in helping children, a professional will tell you about the problem. A few years ago, the magazine “Takie Dela” published an excellent article that explained why emergency gift giving to children in orphanages is harmful. Unfortunately, over these few years the situation in Russia has hardly changed.

A word from an expert in the field of charity, volunteering and corporate social responsibility, Anna Puchkova:

"No gifts to orphanages. Yes, I don’t mean at all: “Guys, urgently help, we don’t have enough gifts for the unfortunate deprived children in orphanages this year,” I mean exactly: “Please stop bullying over children from orphanages, showering them with gifts.”

I understand that the text of this article will be very painful to read for approximately half of those who are going to do this (stay strong, positive at the end). And the other half will nod quietly and sadly with the words: “Yes, I talk about this all the time too, but that doesn’t stop anyone.” I know that the first article will cause frustration or even aggression. Therefore, I immediately want to say: “Yes, I also really love children and people in general,” “Yes, I myself also do something to help others, namely, I devote approximately 95% of my time to this, not counting sleep,” “Yes , I have been to a huge number of orphanages in my time and even lived in one for a week, right in a group with children,” “Yes, I deal with volunteers from more than 20 regions of the country, and everywhere there is exactly the same as in Moscow.” . So, guys, instead of frustration, let's just try to make our help at least a little more effective, that's exactly what we all want, right?

So, why is it still impossible to give gifts to orphanages, and what can be done instead?

Let's take, for example, an ideal situation, that is, a situation in which all children received the same gifts, equally, an ideal situation that excludes the possibility that the gifts did not reach the children. A situation in which a teenager did not sell a gift to buy cigarettes or beer. Or when the gift was not used to make someone jealous or simply demonstrate their superiority (“look what I have, but you don’t have the same”), usually after this the gift ends up either broken or stolen as soon as the owner was distracted from it, and, of course, this is very bad both for the owner and for the one who broke or stole.

So, even in this ideal situation (and you understand that this does not happen?), giving gifts to orphanages, boarding schools, social shelters and other forms of state orphanages (I emphasize - especially state ones) is destructive for the child’s psyche , because according to statistics over time New Year's holidays a child from an orphanage attends about 17 Christmas trees and events and receives about 19 gifts (in the Moscow region - 25). Do you understand that this is just a marathon for survival? Do you want to be the 26th person who came running frantically to love a child you didn’t know just yesterday? What about 18? The saddest thing is that you are ready...

In the next month and a half, billions of rubles will be spent on toys, teddy bears, sleds, Barbies and even tablets, phones and iPods (yes, many children ask for exactly this, and many adults buy it for them, although they themselves realize that there is something that's not true)

All this is monstrous because it fosters terrible dependency; the child gets used to the fact that everyone is always giving him something, giving him something, doing it, and without any effort or reasons visible to him. Some exalted people constantly come and frantically try to love them all to death in half a day and move on (I know, because I was exactly the same). And then suddenly the child turns 18, and... And nothing, no one visits him, no one showers him with gifts, no one cares about the problems of “an adult healthy guy who has to go to work.” Why should he? You only taught him to ask, you did not teach him to earn. You taught him to accept gifts and entertainment and thought that he should somehow figure out about work himself. As a result, only 10% cope with this state of affairs, and the rest become drunkards, end up in crime and prison, and commit suicide. Think about it! 10%! 90%!

Children in orphanages (and in this case I mean all state institutions of this type) live according to the rules of a gloomy, inhumane and merciless system created at the beginning of the 20th century. Their students are not considered part of society, and therefore they do not become one. They are considered poor and unhappy, wretched and deprived, and only truly sincere and professional charitable foundations work on their socialization, try to restore their motivation to live, strive for something and achieve their goals, fill them with faith in their own strengths and satisfy them to families.

“Well, everyone helps as best they can,” they often answer me offended at the mention of professional funds. No, no, I'm not at all against a little help, and I know for sure that EVERY person can help. But we are not talking about help here. I am writing all this precisely to explain - gifts to orphanages on holidays and without them, as well as a bunch of entertainment events on holidays - this is not help, it is harm.

I will give an example from my own practice, when many years ago I came as part of a group of volunteers to one of the orphanages in the Tver region. We agreed on the visit in advance, prepared competitions and performances, and clarified with the director that there would be no one except us that day. When we arrived, another group of volunteers left right in front of our noses, and the children, stretching, left the assembly hall with gifts. They hoped to go about their business, but the director told them to urgently go back to the hall, because “the sponsors had arrived,” and the children wandered off to watch our next songs and dances, which they absolutely did not need. What benefit did we bring to them by forcing them to sit in the assembly hall for half a day? What benefits can be brought by a master class on weaving baubles and soap making?

Well, what should you do then and how can you help if you have such a desire?

I promised positivity at the end, and here it is - you may not only be needed, but really needed! For example, if you want to organize a truly festive event, then organize it for children with disabilities. Moreover, try to take them somewhere from home; in our country they are so rarely given such an opportunity. Better yet, consult with specialized funds and organize a joint event for ordinary children and children with disabilities. This will be very useful for both.

If you definitely want to give someone a gift, there are children with cancer, there are children from low-income families, and just those who are undergoing long-term treatment in the hospital, you definitely won’t spoil them. There are also elderly people, people in hospices and hospitals, paralyzed people, prisoners (everyone generally forgets about them) - they will all be glad to see your warmth and attention, they will need your gifts and receive them with gratitude.

Well, if you want to do something specifically for children from orphanages, then my advice to you is to donate money or become a volunteer in one of the funds that really change their lives and save them:

"Change one life"- they find a father and mother for the children, and there is nothing more valuable than this gift.

One of the oldest and most professional foundations involved in the socialization of orphans.

"Volunteers to help orphans"- they are struggling to keep as many children as possible in the family and prevent them from ending up in orphanages, and also take care of the youngest refuseniks from zero to four years old.

"Big change"- systematic tutoring and development of orphans, they help them enter universities, find themselves in life, gain independence and autonomy.

With the money that is spent annually on teddy bears for children living in concentration camps, these funds can truly save them, get them out of there, protect them, take care of them.

Everything that I described in this article is far from new, and any expert in the field of charity will tell you exactly the same thing. Many companies and simply kind people have already realized this and are beginning to abandon the system of giving gifts and entertainment to orphanages, and this cannot but rejoice.

However, finishing the article, I also sadly look into the eyes of its readers, because most of them will agree with it closer to the beginning of the new year, when they return from orphanages, leaving there another dose of gifts..."

© Essentials Collection/ iStock. Ekaterina Tamilina/ Higher School of Economics

On average, each child in an orphanage receives 19 gifts for the New Year. If you think this is good, you are wrong. How toys and gadgets prevent orphanage graduates from socializing and how to properly participate in charity were discussed on December 8 at a round table organized by the HSE charity organization "Open Your Eyes" together with .

Leaders of charitable projects, psychologists and other specialists told how to help without causing harm.

Elena Alshanskaya

President of the Volunteers to Help Orphans charity foundation

Ruslana Yatsenko

Psychologist, specialist in working with orphans

Mila Geranina

Coordinator of the project “All together against scammers”

Nailya Novozhilova

Chairman of the Board of the Charitable Foundation "Arithmetic of Good"

Elizaveta Muravkina

President of the Galchonok Charitable Foundation

Ekaterina Grishunina

Head of the project “Taking advantage of the opportunity”

Natalia Tolochenko

Head of Corporate Social Responsibility for the Moscow and North-West regions of Coca-Cola HBC Russia

Anna Chuprakova

Director of the charitable foundation "Bureau of Good Deeds"

As a result of the discussion, we made a checklist for conscious New Year's charity.

How not to help?

“We make gifts for the soul, not for show,” noted the director of the HSE Center for Leadership and Volunteering at the beginning of the meeting. But it turns out that even gifts made from the heart can turn out to be evil for the recipient. “Everyone wants to become a little wizard, and we need to make sure that the magic is not black,” said Irina Vorobyova, a journalist at Ekho Moskvy and the moderator of the meeting.

Here's what you definitely shouldn't do so as not to turn a New Year's miracle into “doing good.”

Giving gifts to children you don't know

Experts are clearly against huge bags of gifts that are brought to orphanages “from sponsors.” And the problem is not only that they have no soul. These are gifts to unknown children from unknown adults.

Elena Alshanskaya, President of the Volunteers to Help Orphans charity foundation:“Such gifts blur the boundaries between what is foreign and what is not. You tell your children: “Don’t take anything from strangers.” But this is what we teach children in orphanages: “Take everything from strangers and hug them!” In general, in our culture it is not accepted that children are given gifts by strangers. But an orphanage resident gets used to this, and if an unfamiliar uncle or aunt starts hugging him or giving him something, he perceives this as the norm. And outside the orphanage, adults rarely do this with good intentions. And that’s why our students more often become victims of unpleasant relationships.”

You can please your child with a gift if you have become his mentor, that is, you visit him regularly and know his needs and interests.

Give material gifts

In fact, orphanages receive many gifts for the New Year - from the state, sponsoring companies, and private donors. Regardless of how much the gift costs, it traumatizes the child’s psyche and prevents him from socializing, studying and looking for work in the future.

Elena Alshanskaya:“When we begin to build a beautiful life for a child from an orphanage with holidays and gifts, he experiences positive emotions, but due to a lack of communication, he gets hooked on “stuff” drugs. That is, by giving gifts, you are raising a person who will really want an iPhone, but will not want normal human relationships.”

Ruslana Yatsenko, psychologist, specialist in working with orphans:“I work a lot with graduates of orphanages, and during this time I noticed that some children, when they grow up, replace any relationship with gifts. They try to express themselves solely by the level of income and the number of gifts they can give to their peers. Children believe that the one who is given gifts by teachers and visitors is cool, and the one who is not is a sucker. And if children start communicating with a person, and then he doesn’t give them anything, they are at a loss. Often the thought occurs to them: “We need to promote this person for gifts.” We really had problems when the mentor came without a gift, and for the child it was something incomprehensible: “Why do I need this person if he doesn’t give gifts?” It takes years to change this attitude.”

Give money and gifts to dubious organizations

If you have any doubts about the integrity of the organization involved in the collection, contact experts who will help you recognize scammers. The first signs of fraud: boxes for collecting money, lack of feedback and reporting, and insufficiently specific collection goals - verified funds never collect money for abstract “gifts”, but always clarify what exactly is needed.

Mila Geranina, coordinator of the project “All together against scammers”:“Who are these scammers? Anyone can be a fraudster. These can be both those who call themselves activists and those who call themselves foundations, but in fact are not. And, unfortunately, representatives of the orphanage can be scammers - corruption has not been canceled either. Any direct transfer of money without some kind of expert opinion is also a type of fraud. You don’t need to figure out whether this is a scammer or not - there are organizations that help orphanages, to which you need to contact with this question. If they tell you that they need gifts, then they really need them. But you don’t need to “do good” yourself.”

What is really needed?

Caring and communication

A child has a very high dependence on an adult, which is why nature has developed such a mechanism as attachment. And what distinguishes a child from an orphanage from a child at home is that the orphanage does not have these attachment relationships, there is no personal adult. And this is a basic, basic need. The longer a child does not have his own adult, the worse his personality develops.

Nailya Novozhilova, Chairman of the Board of the Arithmetic of Good Charitable Foundation:“There is such a thing as a “significant adult.” And this is exactly what the child needs, as well as social and everyday skills. This is a priority because children lack a constant significant adult. You can teach them how to build social relationships and show them the outside world.”

Become a friend to your child. Visit him regularly and communicate, showing that a sign of love and care is not only a gift, but also long conversations and time spent together.

Children in orphanages always lack a “significant adult,” and the best help would be a new mentor, not a pack of paints.

It is important to understand that becoming a mentor for a child is not so easy - you need desire and willingness to devote time to this work. It is also important to take special courses and not abandon the child after two or three visits. This is a very serious and regular story.

Knowledge

Experts emphasized that it is important to look at the “future” of the gift: how it will affect the child and whether it will help in the future. For some reason, many people forget that you can give not only material things, but also life experience, money to pay tutors and mentors, and books.

Ekaterina Grishunina, head of the “Taking this Opportunity” project:“Education is one of the most accessible ways to move up the social ladder. That is why, by helping children from orphanages become smarter, we make sure that in the future they can be full-fledged and productive members of society.”

Money for specific needs

Experts urge donations not just for the sake of it, but for specialized projects that have a purpose.

Ekaterina Grishunina:“On our “Taking an Opportunity” platform, if a person wants to help, he selects a specific case or internal project that fulfills some target task. I look at these amounts [money raised on the platform. — approx. edit] and I always dream that people who spend a lot of money on gifts would simply go to “Take advantage of this opportunity” and complete a specific goal. What confuses people is that the money goes not specifically to helping children, but to their education.”

Elizaveta Muravkina:“At our foundation, the volunteer coordinator makes mailings with small needs, and you can always subscribe to this mailing list. We need to help in this way, because we [charitable foundations. — approx. edit] we know what a particular child needs at a particular moment.”

Donations need to be made not only to orphanages, but also to the elderly, the sick, and young adults, because such collections are difficult.

Socialization

Gifts may be taken away from children, but impressions, knowledge and experience will remain forever. Therefore, experts advise organizing events in orphanages aimed at socializing orphanages, and not at entertainment.

Natalia Tolochenko, head of corporate social responsibility for the Moscow and North-West regions of Coca-Cola HBC Russia: “This year we are planning to hold events that will be organized by completely different guys - with different social status, with different physical and mental capabilities. These events will take place on the territory of their institutions, where they themselves will learn to create a New Year's mood. There will be learning areas where children can learn something. The point is that children exchange contacts, they learn to communicate and socialize.”

Experts recommend organizing events that give children from orphanages useful knowledge and skills that will be useful after graduation. To do this, you can hold lectures, career guidance events and open lessons.

Elena Alshanskaya:“It is important to understand what the child’s prospects are. In a good way, at events you need to draw out the potential from children and remove entertainment, because it will only teach children relaxed consumption. They will not be able to work and think about the future. Therefore, we need help with choosing a university, with self-determination. Master classes and holidays are only part of communication, but not the main form. Imagine if teachers didn’t teach us, but only showed us how to weave with beads. We need to give normal opportunities, not useless skills. It is necessary for the child to leave the orphanage and have the opportunity to compete with you in the labor market.”

Experts are also against mass events. For a child from an orphanage, going to the cinema or theater alone, and not in a group, is an unusual and very pleasant experience.

How to act correctly?

Help systematically

Children need help throughout the year, not just on holidays. Therefore, experts call for donating money to permanent projects or connecting recurring payments.

Anna Chuprakova, director of the Bureau of Good Deeds charity foundation:“Helping once a year and then forgetting about it is wrong. It’s better to invest money in a project that works not only in December, but all year round.”

Contact expert funds

Foundations know how to transform available resources, even the usual 500 rubles from a student, into the help you need. As with any transformation, 80% of the effort turns into 20% of the benefits, so there is no need to blame expert funds for inefficiency.

Nailya Novozhilova:“Experts know the desires of specific beneficiaries, understand the amount of resources, capabilities and tasks of companies and can use them correctly.”

Track results

One of the main principles of conscious philanthropy is the belief that the donations are beneficial.

It is important not to scatter yourself among many funds and not to forget about donations, but to choose one project and work with it until a visible result appears. Reputable organizations provide feedback and reporting, and you can easily verify that your money or gifts actually made someone's life better.

Spread the word

We don’t talk much about charity, and many people “do good” only out of ignorance. That's why experts say spreading the word is just as important as donating and volunteering.

Anna Chuprakova:“It’s important not just to contribute your 100 or 200 rubles, but to tell your friends and colleagues: “I alone can only do so much, let’s all get together and do it.”

Conduct scientific research

The experts asked students to conduct any type of research on this topic - from sociological to psychological, because the research conducted by the foundations does not have official status, and it is sometimes not enough.

Elena Alshanskaya:“We suffer greatly from the lack of scientific research on this topic in our country. And the existing works that I have read are of very low quality. We, as experts, try to tell you what needs to be studied, and you have the opportunity to explore some things that are very important to us during your studies.”

conclusions

Orphans really need your help. But paints, cookies and toys, which are brought in tons to orphanages for the New Year, are not only unnecessary - they are harmful. Instead of giving gifts to strangers, it is better to donate money for their education and socialization. And the best New Year’s miracle you can create for a child is to become a volunteer and give attention, friendship, communication and experience.

Useful links and funds

"Take this opportunity to" . Here you can create a charity event and raise money for foundations.

Charitable Foundation "Galchonok". Helps children with central nervous system injuries, orphans and children from low-income families.

"Volunteers to help orphans". A fund that raises money for the education of orphans and financial assistance to children's institutions. Here you can transfer funds or become a volunteer.

"Our children". The foundation takes care of children by teaching them useful skills. The New Year's event “Give skills instead of toys!” is held here.

Foundation for the support of the deaf-blind “Connection”. Here you can learn to communicate with deaf-blind people, become a tutor for them and donate money.