Drapkin's method of treatment with maternal love. The miracle technique of Professor B.Z. Drapkin "Maternal Love Therapy". Mother Therapy Technique: Parental Love Master Class

The book of the famous psychotherapist B.3. Drapkina is a course of lectures given for psychotherapists and psychologists, which outlines the theoretical and methodological foundations of a new direction in psychotherapy - maternal love psychotherapy, as well as discusses the general problems of child psychotherapy, the problem of establishing a diagnosis and choosing the optimal therapy for a particular child.

The author of the proposed book, perhaps for the first time, showed not only the causes of developing mental disorders, but also gave real practical ways of their prevention and treatment. He showed that one of the most important causes of mental disorders, both in children and adults, is the deprivation of a little man, a child, of maternal love.

Much attention is paid to the treatment of stuttering, which makes this book useful and interesting for speech therapists.

The lecture style of presentation will allow specialists to understand the deep content of the B.3 method. Drapkin in order to practically use it both in working with children and when working with adult patients.

About the author: Boris Zinovievich Drapkin is one of the most famous child psychiatrists and psychotherapists, awarded the title of Honorary Professor of Psychotherapy. A native of Leningrad, survived the blockade, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War. B.Z. Drapkin created the first adolescent psychiatric department in the country. more…

Boris Zinovievich Drapkin (1928 - 2006) - one of the most famous child psychiatrists and psychotherapists, awarded the title of "Honorary Professor of Psychotherapy".

A native of Leningrad, survived the blockade, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War.

B.Z. Drapkin created the first adolescent psychiatric department in the country.

Since 1962, he has been a freelance lecturer at the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Psychotherapy and Medical Psychology of the Russian Medical Academy of Postgraduate Education.

Until 1996, he was the chief child psychotherapist of the Ministry of Health of the Soviet Union and Russia.

Books (2)

Family psychotherapy (method of mother love psychotherapy)

The book of the famous psychotherapist B.3. Drapkina is a course of lectures given for psychotherapists and psychologists, which outlines the theoretical and methodological foundations of a new direction in psychotherapy - maternal love psychotherapy, as well as discusses the general problems of child psychotherapy, the problem of establishing a diagnosis and choosing the optimal therapy for a particular child.

The author of the proposed book, perhaps for the first time, showed not only the causes of developing mental disorders, but also gave real practical ways to prevent and treat them. He showed that one of the most important causes of mental disorders, both in children and adults, is the deprivation of a little man, a child, of maternal love.

Much attention is paid to the treatment of stuttering, which makes this book useful and interesting for speech therapists.

The lecture style of presentation will allow specialists to understand the deep content of the B.3 method. Drapkin in order to practically use it both in working with children and when working with adult patients.

Reader Comments

Valentine/ 28.04.2017 I liked it very much

Sergey Alekseev/ 10/19/2016 Boris Zinovievich was a genius and, probably, the only child psychotherapist of his kind. His presence has always felt like something festive, like from Santa Claus in New Year, even adults in his lectures. There is no need to talk about the children with whom he was involved)
The book "psychotherapy with motherly love" is good, first of all, because it is focused on independent use by the mother and has a positive effect on both participants in the process at once - both on the mother and on the child.
Children's problems are not really children's problems, they are always parents' problems, manifested through children. Children do not and cannot have their own problems. Therefore, it is not right to treat a child - it is right to engage in psychotherapy with parents.
If you do not have a good psychotherapist in mind, this book can be of great help to you in building relationships with children.
Highly recommended reading!
(I speak as a specialist who once had the good fortune to learn a little from Drapkin)

Guest/ 4.12.2014 TATIANA.
As a speech therapist and mother of a child with a complex defect, she was convinced that the technique, when used correctly, works. Even in the most severe cases is there a result. A low bow to its author and mothers who love their children and help them.

Akulina/ 12.10.2014 "Maternal love therapy." Great knowledge in capable hands.

Irina/ 04/27/2012 I am just starting to apply the technique, I don’t know what will happen, but I think it will not get worse.

/ 27.01.2012 Wonderful technique!!! And such a wonderful auto-training for mom! It is a pity that no one said anything like that to me in my childhood))) I am very grateful to B. Drapkin and to the person who told me about his method.

Christina/ 11.09.2009 Started using the basic program. I like this approach. A very good program not only for children, but mothers also need it. Thank you very much.

MOTHER IS THE MAIN CURE
FOR A CHILD

Dear readers! With the kind permission of the author, our newspaper begins to print fragments of the book by B.Z. Drapkin "Psychotherapy with maternal love", published in the publishing house "DeLi Print" in Moscow in a small edition. In this issue we introduce you to the book, its author and offer the first extracts from the text.

Boris Zinovievich Drapkin is one of the most famous child psychiatrists and psychotherapists, awarded the title of Honorary Professor of Psychotherapy. A native of Leningrad, survived the blockade, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War.
B.Z. Drapkin created the first adolescent psychiatric department in the country. Since 1962 he has been a freelance lecturer at the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Psychotherapy and Medical Psychology of the Russian Medical Academy of Postgraduate Education. Until 1996 - chief child psychotherapist of the Ministry of Health of the Soviet Union and Russia.

The book brought to your attention was created on the basis of a course of lectures, which outlines the theoretical and methodological foundations of a new direction of psychotherapy - psychotherapy with motherly love.
The author for the first time showed not only the causes of mental disorders developing in children, but also how to treat and prevent them in practice. He convinces us that one of the most important causes of mental disorders in both children and adults is the deprivation of a person of maternal love.

“Psychotherapeutic, psychological and therapeutic-pedagogical influence is becoming more widespread and developed in the treatment and correction of children. While new methods and techniques are constantly appearing in adult psychotherapy or well-known methods and techniques are being modified, and their number is very large, in the psychotherapy of children there are few methods ... Psychodynamic methods, behavioral and other types of psychotherapy common abroad, have not received much distribution in our country.

The younger the child, the more carefully one should approach the treatment and exposure to psychotherapeutic, psychological and extrasensory techniques. It is necessary to take into account possible paradoxical responses associated with the physiological characteristics of childhood, the peculiarity of the formation of the functional structures of the child's brain - immature, rapidly developing and very sensitive.

Over the course of a number of years, I have been developing and improving my method of effective, harmless and adequate therapeutic effect on children with neuropsychic, psychosomatic diseases, suffering from delays in physical, mental and speech development and those with health, learning and behavioral problems. From my point of view, the use of the mother's enormous potential in the process of her interaction with the child is the most promising in the treatment and care of children. This is due to the psycho-emotional community of mother and child, the fundamental importance of parental, and primarily maternal, love, and the setting role of the mother's voice and speech in the health, happiness, joy and success of the child (hereinafter ed.).

How to teach parents to help their children themselves, to promote their health and happiness? How to love a child? What can you do yourself if the child is sick, delayed in development, speaks badly, etc.? Are medications always needed and useful in these cases? I tried to answer these and many other questions in lectures delivered at the Moscow Professional Association of Psychotherapists, Medical Psychologists and Social Workers in 2001–2002.

For parents who ... become interested in our method and want to help themselves and their children, we strongly recommend working in contact with specialists who know this technique.”

“My credo: children and animals must be loved and protected always and everywhere. Without loving children, one cannot be a doctor and a teacher. And believe - this love will definitely return to you, give you strength and prolong life.

“Every child is a miracle, and this miracle needs to be preserved and raised, and then a chain reaction of joy, love, happiness and health will begin. Whether or not people who preach evil, aggression, cruelty, selfishness, selfishness and acquisitiveness, they will be forced to retreat. And such negative phenomena as STUPID HEART and SCANITY will disappear and wither away.”

“Every child, apart from severely traumatized handicapped children, is born to become a reasonable, kind human being. ... Who the child becomes in the future is our work with parents ... You need to love your child. And not just love, but enjoy it. Look for these qualities in your mother. Every child needs to be caressed, smiled at, played with, loved and tender. This emotional communication is more important for each child than vitamins and calories. If you love him a lot and correctly, this will teach him to love other people in the future, to enjoy life, that is, to carry those positive emotional qualities that you instill in him. A child who lacks love and affection grows up as a cold, callous, aloof person. You need to love a child for who he is, for his appearance, whatever it may be, for his habits. It is not necessary in this love ... to remember those qualities that you would like to have in a child, but which are not in him. It prevents love. If you love him the way he is, he grows up as a confident person who believes in himself, which means he is a happy person. This person will always be able to realize himself. ”

“If the relationship between mothers and children is not based on love, then everything else: discipline, academic success, school, interaction with peers is of little importance. Everything is going topsy-turvy. If there is no love, then all these relationships are based on violence, they seem to be deprived of a certain foundation. It is very important to explain to parents that the relationship between them - father and mother - is no less significant.

What can be advice? We say to parents: “How not to destroy the intra-family field, the intra-family situation, when people ... get used to each other and begin to see flaws more often than virtues? ... We must understand that nothing is perfect in life, and demand from our a companion in a life of perfection is reckless. Second, each of our partners has pros and cons. You can think more about the minuses, but you need to think about the pluses. We must strive to put the positive features of our partner at the forefront. And finally, what we require from our mothers in relation to children: we must love our partner for who he is. And life says that we do not follow these rules and are looking for better options: we disperse, start other families, etc. It must be remembered that when we create against this background new family relationships, we carry a guilt complex. And this complex is constantly somewhere gradually sharpens us, interferes with normal relationships in new couples. We are talking about normal families, although now values ​​are shifting and it is becoming fashionable to create more and more new families, to destroy their families. For children, this always turns into very big difficulties.

Here I wrote out a very important saying about love and relationships from the New Testament: “Love endures for a long time, is merciful. Love is not envious. Love does not exalt, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Everything covers. Believes everything. He hopes for everything and endures everything.

“Children are not only emotionally oversensitive, they are also overly vulnerable. Any child constantly asks his parents in all non-verbal ways known to him: “Do you love me?”. The child asks this emotional question mainly by his behavior, very rarely by words. And in the life of every child, the answer to this sacramental question is absolute, is the most important. From our answer to this vital question depends on its basic attitude to life, its further development. Please note: all behavior, all psychosomatics are built on this. The child, as it were, asks his parents about his health. If his emotional level is lowered, anxiety arises, which gives rise to psychosomatics. Be sure to communicate with your mother, when you analyze with her the condition of the child, his behavior, do not forget to explain this to your mother. It is very important.

Every child has an emotional reservoir, certain emotional needs. And how they are satisfied (love, understanding, relationship) determines how the child feels. Whether he is satisfied, angry, depressed or full of joy, activity, happiness. The child's behavior is a signal that indicates the state of this reservoir. Only if this reservoir is full, the child will be happy, he will be able to achieve his highest life potential in the future in physical, mental, intellectual and other types of development. Parents need to be taught that their child is a mirror that reflects their love. But never does a child begin to love his parents first.

How to convey love? It is necessary to look into the eyes of your children as much as possible, always experiencing for them the positive, emotional that we want to convey. Stroke as much as possible, make eye contact, make physical contact. This is carried out not only by the mother, but also by the father, and all family members. The look of parents should be open, natural, friendly, look - directly into the eyes of the child.

Communication is of great importance from early childhood and plays a huge role in the future. The use of eye contact without love is especially negative when the child is very young. Therefore, in a small child, a strict look gives rise to fear of parents, makes him submissive, obedient, lethargic. And then, as you grow older ... fear is replaced by anger, resentment, aggression and depressive forms of mood.

“We need to teach parents: “do not emotionally torment your children, do not take out your mood, your negative states on them.” This has been verified by my extensive practice. It is more painful for a child when parents avoid looking at him than when they physically punish him. The emotional loss and blow to the child is much worse when the parents do not talk to the child and do not look at him than when they take the strap and begin to express their indignation through physical torture. Against the background of fear and pain, a feeling of protest arises in the child. And when he is emotionally stressed, then this is due to many pathological conditions. To these two moments - the replenishment of the emotional reservoir and eye-to-eye gaze and tactile contact - we add my method.

"I created my method on the basis of three points: psycho-emotional community, love and mother's voice."

“The unhappy, sick, lonely, irritated mother cannot give any vitamin of love, even if she wanted to.”

“Love must be reasonable. We must love not ourselves in the child, but the child in ourselves. Pathological love is self-love in a child. In these cases, what we did not receive ourselves, we want to receive in the child. We want to make him be the way we want, because we "love" him. It is very difficult for a mother to love a child if she herself feels bad, if she is unhappy. But the family needs help, you need to look. The method has no boundaries: neither age, nor others. So go ahead!”

Lecture 1
The method of psychotherapy with maternal love as part of child psychotherapy.
Its foundations, principles and possibilities.

I will introduce you to a technique ... that complements the arsenal effective methods child psychotherapy and is available to practical psychotherapists, doctors, psychologists and speech therapists who use psychotherapy in their work. The basis for the development of the proposed method was the following points.

Psychiatrists and neuropathologists often feel rather helpless in the process of communicating with sick children and their parents. What was previously in service with us? Kind advice on improving the family situation, advice on how, from the point of view of doctors, to communicate with your children, then a gentleman's set of medications and very limited psychotherapeutic options. ... The methods of psychoanalysis, and psychodynamic analytical therapy, created on its basis, are complex, cumbersome, and one must master them very well. In addition, the final result is achieved very slowly.

Regarding hypnotherapy…. hypnosis at an early age childhood, in my opinion, should be used with caution. The child's brain is unusually plastic, paradoxical in its reactions, and when we, having the ability to exert a deep influence on a person, enter the consciousness and subconscious of a small child, it is not known what we are doing there. Unfortunately, the end result is unpredictable. In addition, children often experience fear of strangers and their actions. Therefore, hypnosis can bring completely unpredictable results. You are well aware that drug therapy often gives the same paradoxical reactions. Those who work with children know that a child sometimes responds to sedative medicine with even greater excitement. And vice versa, when we give stimulants to an inhibited child, sometimes we get even deeper inhibition. Again, in these cases, the child's brain responds unpredictably.

Game psychotherapy. Yes, no doubt, this is a psychotherapy of childhood, but its possibilities and range of influence are limited ... it is mainly used for neurosis, phobias and rough behavioral reactions .... In a broader sense of psychotherapeutic impact on a wide variety of conditions, play psychotherapy has an auxiliary, but not decisive action. It is ineffective and can be used as an auxiliary method for those diseases when drug therapy is the leading one or other methods of psychotherapy and therapeutic pedagogy are most effective.

Fourth.

Family psychotherapy. Yes, just like the game, this is really a psychotherapy of childhood. But ... at present, domestic family therapy basically boils down to the fact that we find out the presence of conflict within the family and the mistakes of upbringing, but we are still not able to exert a deep family impact.

... Another method that really has a great effect on young children is the so-called indirect indirect suggestion. This method is used by "grandmothers" who are very good at "talking" diseases. It is based on the placebo effect.

Gradually… a technique emerged that I called “mother's love therapy”. Why did he call it that? Yes, because fundamental in the development of the child ... is maternal love. Without it, children cannot grow up healthy and happy.

If during the first year of life there is no mother next to the child, then the mother will need at least a year and a half to make up for lost time. And if mom is gone for two years, then it will take more than two or three years. And if there was no mother for three years, then no matter what she does later, the child will most likely be a sociopath and have a set of various pathological disorders.

It is extremely important that between mothers and children there is a common psycho-emotional field. ... It is an axiom: the psycho-emotional state of the mother is entirely reflected in the state of the child.

... From the beginning of pregnancy, everything that the mother has, the child also has. .... Mom's voice is always with him. Mom is always here. What is a voice? The voice reflects the psycho-emotional state of the mother. Mom is on the rise, mom is in a good mood, everything is fine with mom, mom smiles and her voice is joyful ... And what else? .. She has a “chemistry of joy” in her blood. After all, behind every emotion there is also chemistry.

…And vice versa. Mom is depressed, anxious, her voice is dead, and so on. What's in the blood? And in the blood - the chemistry of anxiety and depression. This means that the fetus is in anxiety and depression, like a mother. … And how is a child born? Well, at best, a neuropath. And at worst - with a powerful complex of innate aggression.

….At the moment of childbirth..there is a powerful closure of the emotional connection between mother and child.

Then the child grows, mother's voice continues to sound. He hears it all the time. Then, when the child was in the womb, we talked about the chemistry of the states and their exchange with the mother. And this chemistry with the emotional coloring of the voice is closely connected. And when the child already exists independently, the mother's voice still continues to influence his emotional state. Now he has his own chemical "factory" that produces the same chemistry that was during pregnancy. He's already set to work. This means that if the mother is irritated, then in addition to the direct psychogenic exogenous impact on the child's consciousness, there is also an endogenous one: the child responds with its chemistry to the state of the mother. Then ... the child develops, the word acquires its true meaning. He begins to understand the word, and a new stage of communication between mother and child begins: when it is necessary not only to ensure that the emotional state is correctly conveyed, but also to think about what you are saying. The word is the all-encompassing factor. Physically, it is a weak irritant, psychologically, it has completely unlimited possibilities of influencing the consciousness, subconsciousness, and through them, the entire human body.

Thus, there are three points: psycho-emotional community, love and mother's voice. Based on the use of these points, I ... began to create my own method. The method seems to be simple and at the same time very complicated. All psychotherapy is in it, and it produces results in everyone and in all conditions.

….My experience shows that the method has very great potential. This, of course, is not a panacea, but it can be successfully used in many variants of borderline mental pathology, including psychosomatics and developmental delays. In the future, it is also the prevention of drug abuse. Because this method is penetration into the subconscious, a direct path on which a child can be given a life-long orientation. It is part of the psychological defense.

Do not think that we are taking a difficult child and we will definitely make a healthy one out of him. But we can help everyone!

.... Many years of experience have shown that the method does not help only in one case: if we do not find a common language with mom or mom does not want, does not want to work. There are such cases. Most importantly, I tell my colleagues - child psychiatrists: when a child with his mother comes to you, you should not immediately prescribe antipsychotics, tranquilizers ... You should not give specific substances that do not know how they affect the child's brain.

In psychoneurology ... it is desirable to adhere to the principle: the minimum necessary doses of the drug and the maximum short time its application. After all, there are many common and mass folk remedies. You have to learn how to communicate and set up your mom accordingly. It depends on our culture, on our experience, on our knowledge. It was a small introduction.

W. Eugene Smith. My children
First, we give and master the basic version of the method - it is non-specific. It acts on almost any child and helps him. Well, what's wrong if a mother finds a way to explain to her child that she loves him?! And then, based on what we know, and on the basis of the basic program, a specific program is set for each child. On the basic program, the mother learns to work, and then she moves on to a specific individual. The method works both individually and in small groups and in large audiences.

A mother with a child comes to the reception ... They must be taken to the office together, then you see a lot. It is in the process of their communication at the reception that the general impression is formed. One mother suffers in silence, her eyes are miserable, while the child does whatever she wants. Another mother does not allow the child to move a finger, she always makes comments to him.

First stage.

After the conversation, my mother and I agree: “Mom, I must inform you that I will not treat your child with medicines. But I offer you an appropriate system of work, which consists in the fact that from today or tomorrow you begin to work independently with your child according to the system that will be offered to you. And then you set out the system: “In the process of your communication with the child, it is not so much his past that matters, but the present. Working at the present moment, we can go back for a while and immediately think about moving forward, but we need to work “here and now”. You can do a lot. If you do not rely on me, then it is better to go to another specialist. I can offer you only joint work. We work together, you and me. Moreover, at first my role is quite authoritarian, but as you work, your importance and role will increase. And I am turning from a guiding and organizing force into your assistant and consultant, that is, I will help you, but the main thing will be you.

In the process of getting to know your mother in detail, when you talk about motherly love, talk about voice, talk about community, you must make sure that mom understands everything and wants to work. And then you say: “So, we have agreed with you ... But, the only thing that you will not succeed, I can tell you in advance, I simply will not allow this, I have such opportunities .... - to make the child absolutely the way you want: obedient, as if zombie. We will make the child healthy, joyful, happy. But not obedient, not a performer, not a robot. Only healthy, only joyful, only capable of development.

We must remember the general law of psychotherapy: we strive in every possible way to get away from phrases and suggestions2 with a “not” particle: “will not”, “should not” ... We always talk about what will be good and do not fix our attention on the bad, that is we set up mom for positive: for development, for joy and health.

Finally, you feel that mom is ready to work. Then you give mom the basic program. You say: “Mommy, now ... take the paper, I will dictate to you the basic program, consisting of four blocks. It's like a night story. Approximately 20-30 minutes after your child has fallen asleep, you sit next to him, take the program. Until you learn it, you read it. Your hand should be next to the baby's hand or head. You can adjust to his breathing .... And then you read phrases according to the program - the program consists of phrases. After reading the phrase, you then mentally convey it to the child, as if putting your thought into his consciousness. Thoughts are material, you know it! Then repeat the same phrase aloud. And so you go throughout the program.

“Our fairy tale consists of four blocks. Each phrase of the basic program has been tested and worked out on many children. And its formulation is already quite constant. It is advisable not to change the phrases of the basic program. This is a harsh stereotype, please follow it.”

Work on the basic program is like a trial period. Depending on how the mother will perceive her, how the mother will implement it, how the mother will work, you understand whether it is worth continuing the treatment. Approximately 15-20 percent of mothers cannot work according to our method, but the rest work - and work well.

The mother is given a basic program for individual work with the child.

First block.
Maternal Love Vitamin

1. I love you very, very much.

Explain to mothers that they all love their children, grandmothers love their grandchildren. Everyone loves them in their own way. But there is also a universal biological love common to humans and animals. Here, mothers, being “humans”, forget that they must give themselves in their love. They give attention, give care, care, kiss, but they don’t know how to spend themselves. Look at the animals. The female often goes to her death for the sake of her cub ...

2. You are the dearest and dearest thing I have.

This phrase continues the mother's declaration of love for her child.

3. You are my native particle, native blood.

This phrase is not always suitable. Adopted children should not be told.

4. I can't live without you.

This phrase deepens the child's conviction of his great role in the mother's life.

5. We all love you very much.

This phrase works great.

Second block.
physical health

I always demand that when a mother works with the second block, she must mentally keep an improved portrait of her child in front of her eyes. I tell mothers: “The girl is wonderful. Well, just a feast for the eyes, boy ... But still, it can be better, that's what you would like ideally. Try to keep it in front of your inner eye.

1. You are strong, healthy, beautiful.

2. You eat well, and therefore you grow and develop quickly.

Pitfalls: not everyone needs to eat better - and so they burst for both cheeks. The phrase can be built like this: “You eat normally ...” But in general, the phrase works great. Why? After all, mothers and especially grandmothers break the appetite of children with extraordinary ease. Not to mention the fact that often there is a monotonous diet for up to a year, and there are simply a number of products that the child does not know, does not like. And then this phrase can be amended: “You really like it and want to eat this and that” ... Here is a completely different principle: you want to eat! And appetite arises as if by itself, from within. And the problems are removed very quickly, believe me. The child begins to eat normally, because he wants to eat. He has an internal setting for food.

3. You have a strong and healthy heart, breast, tummy.

It's all about psychosomatics. This is a general phrase, and then separately: one for bronchial asthma, another for intestinal dyskinesia, a third for mild manifestations of diabetes, we will include the content here later. We go through the systems of the body.

4. You move easily and beautifully.

Here later, when drawing up individual programs, a lot can be included. And spasticity, and motor immaturity. "You want to run." "You want to step on your toes." "You want to move your fingers." That is, all the time through desire, through need.

5. You are hardened - you rarely get sick.

Here SARS, frequent colds. Each phrase is a microblock for further work.

Third block.
mental health

1. You are a calm boy/calm girl. You have good strong nerves.

The complex neuropsychic dynamics of the processes of stimulation, inhibition, their mobility and interaction are practically normalized. The irritability of the child, excitability, nervousness decreases.

2. You don't like (or don't like) crying at all. Further included here are: You can play games attentively and for a long time. You like to be calm. Everything related to asthenic and neurasthenic manifestations.

3. You are a smart boy/smart girl. Your head and mind are developing well. You understand and remember everything well.

These phrases are for school, to prepare for school, to compensate for developmental delays.

4. You have good mood. You love to smile.

This is the section for all affective disorders. Subdepression (shallow depression) in children is one of the most serious pathologies. It is the main cause of psychosomatic illnesses. We often underestimate subdepressive and depressive states in young children.

5. You sleep well. You fall asleep easily and quickly.

This is a phrase that usually begins with improvements in the neuropsychic sphere. Sleep improves very quickly. Then you can include here: “You like to fall asleep alone. You like to fall asleep in low light or even in the dark.”

6. You rest very well when you sleep.

Sleep becomes deep and restful. The child wakes up fresh, joyful, active.

7. You only see good dreams.

Removes frightening, traumatic dreams for a child, after which many children experience various fears and other neurotic disorders.

8. You are a very brave and brave child.

This phrase is possible in two versions: "You really like it and want to be bold and brave." All phobic disorders will be included here (when developing individual programs).

9. Your speech is developing well.

This phrase refers to the development of speech, here is the whole speech pathology.

Fourth block.
"Ethnoscience"

1. I pick up and throw away your disease.

We may not even include this block in the program for the first week. Because we don't know yet what we take away and what we throw away...

Closing phrase: "I love you very much."

Mom wrote it all down. The basic program is usually given to a mother without a child. Then you say: “Well, mom, now let's study. Imagine that the child is there, at a distance, and you are transmitting information to him. You will not read the program yourself now, I will dictate the first block to you. You listen to him and pass each phrase to your child. I am now telling you a phrase, you seem to have read it, mentally pass it on to your child, as if putting it into his mind, and then repeat this phrase aloud. ... The optimal sequence is first mentally, then out loud. They did the opposite - worse. The value of the mental transmission of the program is very great.

What are the mistakes here? First. Instead of the mental part, they immediately begin to speak. The mental part can be much more significant than the verbal part and determine the effect in children under the age of one year. Second. Rush. Mom starts to hurry, especially in the mental part. And third, when speaking aloud, there is no expressiveness, and mentally - there is no concentration.

They gave me a program. Mom spoke to her. “Now, goodbye. Our next meeting is in a week. I will check how you work. You in my presence, bringing the child or without him, will pronounce the entire basic program.

The basic program is given to all parents the same, and the individual program is created on the basis of our ideas about the child and the data of objective examinations and on the basis of the diaries of the mother and other family members. “Gather your whole family... and write down everything that worries you. The difficulties that the child experiences are important, and not how difficult it is for you ”(ed.). For example: “It is difficult for him to concentrate, he cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes, he is very touchy, he is afraid to get to know children, etc...

Then you say, “There is no past in our work. The future will be. This is what we are striving for. We are talking about the present: here and now. And when you write all this, consider that everything that excites and worries you, you, as it were, gave to the paper, and through the paper to me. And you no longer have this burden on your soul. You don't go back to him. You perceive the child as he is now. Here he is. Here is the level for you, the bar with which we start, we perceive the child here and now, all our work is aimed at a good future. There will be no return to the side of the bad - it is impossible! And it is necessary that he be as wonderful and healthy as we want him to be. We will work on this.

In no case do not remember the past and do not return to it. You and your child are a single field, and as long as all this sits in you, it will sit in it too. You must purify yourself, and along with your purification, your child will also be purged. It is psychologically necessary. There is no past... It was. And stop eating it. Let's work so that this doesn't happen. In childhood, a lot is compensated even spontaneously.

Then you tell your parents: “You take a notebook. Write the basic program on the first sheet. On the next sheet, write everything that worries you. And then, which is very important, there is a diary in which you take the trouble not to return to what is bad. Only if you forgot something, then write it there, on the second page, so that there is no bad thing in the diary. The diary should be only positive, only good. And you don't wait for the good to show up so that you can easily notice it. You kind of program it in yourself. You are waiting for this good. Inwardly call for the child to answer you with this good one. Try to note even the smallest good dynamics. And write all this in a diary: “Yes, I like it. Yes, the baby sleeps better. Yes, he smiles.

Understanding this is extremely important. For example, we work with stuttering. Until stuttering is gone from the consciousness of the family, from the field of the family, it will remain or return. We must stop suffering, stop waiting for a stumble from a child.

Mom comes to the next lesson with a diary. You take a diary, and based on it and on the basis of what you know about the child, you draw up an individual program. If the individual program is difficult, then you say: "Work on the basic one for another week or three days." And during this time we must prepare an individual program. Having received an individual program, the mother comes in a week with the results. And here the main work begins, as if martial arts - yours with your mother against the disease or your confrontation with your mother.

Until what age can you work like this? - The younger the better. The older, the more difficult. Up to 8-9 years is good. Then the boys stop perceiving their mother's declarations of love. They are already men. But in essence, this is an all-age program. The main thing is to build correctly. It depends on how smart the doctor is and how smart the mother is. All psychotherapy is here: from rational to family and suggestive. In principle, this is maternal suggestion (suggestion - ed.). Only it is safe for the child. Because a mother cannot harm a child ... there is something sacred in her. And everyone else can hurt him.

At what age can you work like this?

- I start working from the conception period. We can work with pregnant women. Age has no lower limit. Yes, and the top, probably does not have. I sometimes work with teenagers. But working with teenagers is a matter for the future development of the method.

The condition of the child is not a contraindication to work. Ill, fever - still work. But the condition of the mother is a direct indication or contraindication. If mom is sick,... exhausted,... if mom is in trouble, this day should be skipped. She cannot convey any vitamin of maternal love in such a state.

(taken from the website of the Charitable Foundation for the Prevention and Rehabilitation of Drug Addicts "Narkom")

Who used the method? What are the results? I want to try.

Below is an article from the magazine, which outlines the basic program of mom therapy according to the method of Boris Drapkin.

Healing with love

A unique method based on the traditions of domestic psychotherapy, pedagogy and the experience of traditional medicine helps mothers cope with most childhood illnesses

Little Ilyusha had a delay in speech development. It sounds so innocent - delay. But in fact, the boy simply did not speak until he was four years old. At all! To which doctors Rita did not take him - all to no avail. Nothing serious was found in the baby, but each specialist considered it his duty to prescribe medication. At the age of five, Ilyusha finally spoke, but then a new misfortune came - he began to stutter. And again - doctors' offices, a speech therapy kindergarten, a speech development center. Specialists only parted their hands and prescribed new drugs. Further - worse. When stuttering, the baby had convulsions. Mom was just in despair!
Nadia grew up as a mobile, cheerful and developed girl beyond her years. And everything would be fine, if not the “sore” traditional for modern urban kids - atopic dermatitis (or neurodermatitis). What only specialists were not found by parents! We got acquainted with all known methods - from traditional antihistamines to a blood type diet. And is it necessary to say how much money was spent on treatment for Nadyushin's six years! However, the improvements were so minor...

What is safe?
It can only be sadly stated that every year the number of babies with neurosis, vegetative-vascular dystonia, stuttering, enuresis, functional diseases of internal organs, which are based on nervous factors (pathologies of the cardiovascular, digestive and respiratory systems), is growing. Unfortunately, practicing psychologists are not always able to help such children, since the treatment of many psychosomatic diseases necessarily requires medical knowledge and experience. Many preschoolers need to see a psychiatrist, but this is usually so scary for parents! However, the longer the visit to a specialist is postponed, the more difficult it is to cope with problems later. The complexity of treating very young children lies in the fact that they may have completely unpredictable, paradoxical reactions to drugs and psychological interventions that are different from adults. So, after drinking a sedative, the baby, instead of relaxing, can suddenly become sharply excited. Dangerous for kids and so popular now hypnosis and extrasensory perception. What remains? If we talk about psychotherapeutic methods, then these are family and game therapy (but they are not effective in all, but only in certain situations).
And you can definitely say that his mother is absolutely safe for the child. After all, it is known that mother and baby are up to a certain point one whole, they have a single psycho-emotional field. And maternal intuition sometimes works wonders. A loving mother, even being very far from her child, can feel: something happened to the baby. All this is from the realm of subtle matters, and such a commonality begins even before conception. How does the family prepare for the birth of a child? Is he desired? Nevertheless, the mood of the mother during pregnancy is important: what is in her blood - the chemistry of joy or depression? What happens at the time of childbirth? How does a mother take care of a baby? The child constantly feels the degree of community with his mother and reacts to her slightest changes. And often - it is a disease, as if calling: pay attention to me as soon as possible, correct the mistakes! And how important at this moment to meet with a competent specialist!

miracle method
Professor of psychotherapy Boris Zinovievich Drapkin has been treating children for this kind of diseases for many years. He created a unique method based on the traditions of domestic psychotherapy and pedagogy, as well as on the experience of traditional medicine. The method takes into account the deep psycho-emotional commonality of mother and baby, uses the resources of maternal love and the great opportunities that arise during communication with the baby. “We all love children,” says Boris Zinovievich. - But, sadly, we do it not quite the way the child needs. Imagine that your baby has a reservoir inside that should always be saturated with mother's love. If there is not enough, the tank dries up, the baby gets sick - with his body, he seems to be screaming about his problems.
There are several ways to replenish this “reservoir“.

Stroking the baby more often, hugging, patting, messing with him, fighting - but observing the measure. An attentive parent will see when the baby has enough of such physical contact.
As often as possible, look into the eyes of your child, with love and tenderness, no matter what his antics.
But there is another way, one of the most effective - to activate the verbal, colloquial way of communication. A mother's voice is a great and much-needed medicine for a baby! “We are striving for the mother's voice to become the inner voice of the baby,” emphasizes Boris Zinovievich. - Mom gives her child certain positive attitudes, affecting the entire body of the baby. This is fixed on a conscious level and affects all the organs of the crumbs.
Rita, the mother of five-year-old Ilyusha, learned about Professor Drapkin's method quite by accident and was rather skeptical at first. But she was ready for anything, just not to see the torment of the baby.
“I thought it was too simple to be true,” recalls Rita. - But when, after two weeks, during which I diligently followed the methodology, my son had convulsions, I simply could not believe it. At first I thought - I dream of improvement so much that I am ready to see even something that does not exist! But the kindergarten speech therapist, whom I did not initiate into our experiments, asked: what is happening? what miracles? And then I believed in this magic. We continued with redoubled zeal. After three months, most of our problems were gone.” Katya, Nadyushin’s mother, admits that at first she didn’t really hope for success either, but she thought: even if I tell my daughter once again about how much I love her, this will only benefit. A month later, the baby's skin began to clear up, the sores bothered her less and less, and most importantly, Nadyusha stopped paying attention to them and felt different from other children.

Diary
Another of the most important components of the “motherly love cure” method is keeping a diary.
Every day you should see something new in your baby, some kind of sprout, not previously noticed, albeit small, but an improvement in his condition. The past does not exist! The main thing is to live according to the principle of "here and now". There is only today, and a keen maternal look will surely see what changes have taken place.
At first, all this will seem like some kind of nonsense to you - you probably haven’t written diaries since childhood. And very often it turns out that at the second or third meeting with his mother, Drapkin is forced again and again to emphasize the importance of these diary entries.
Rita recalls: “At first I didn’t even really understand what was required of me. But then she found particular pleasure when she wrote: “I like that Ilyusha has become like this ...”, “It is so wonderful that close people notice the success of the baby and rejoice with us.”
And Katya recalled with pleasure how, in the first year of little Nadenka’s life, she recorded any significant event - now the baby smiled, learned to hold her head, went on a spree, stood up on her legs, took her first steps ... And now, when the daughter, it would seem, is completely already big, it turns out, during the day there are so many important moments that you want to note, to stop this moment.
Most mothers who have used this method say that the child calms down before their eyes, becomes less irritable.
Improvements in physical condition come faster for someone, later for someone, someone gets rid of the problem completely, someone ~ partially. But everyone, as one, talks about the amazing feeling of reunion with the baby, thanks to which the whole atmosphere in the family changes, relationships become warmer and more trusting.
“Now I continue to use this method, because I saw: the main thing is my inner attitude towards the child,” says Rita. - It has completely changed. Now I accept my son for who he is. I am no longer annoyed by his natural childish reactions and antics, I am much calmer about many things and see how my child changes in response to this!“
In fact, there are no particular difficulties in this wonderful method. The most important thing is to set ourselves up and use the resources that are in us. mothers, laid down by Nature itself. And you will succeed!

Magazine “Lisa. My child" No. 9 for 2002

Summary: Mother's love treatment. A mother's love for her child is able to heal him from any illness and set him up for a happy and successful life.

Every mother is able to help a child cope even with a serious illness. Under the guidance of a doctor, she can save the baby from fears, insomnia, stuttering and other nervous disorders. Finally, a mother can give a child a setting for happiness - and he will become a happy and successful person. How to do this, tells the well-known child psychiatrist Professor Boris Zinovievich Drapkin.

Vessel for love.

A child is a vessel for mother's love. If the baby is filled with it - he is happy, develops normally. An unloved child misbehaves, becomes naughty, may begin to stutter, wet the bed; having been injured, having caught an infection, he recovers slowly and badly. But once mom fills it with her love, and recovery is much more successful.

But how to convey your love to the baby? Western experts believe: first of all, by looking and touching. Look into the eyes of the child with love as often as possible, stroke, press, toss, jokingly mess around with him ...

To these two methods, Dr. Drapkin adds a third. He believes that until about 2 years old, the mother should not part with the baby at all. If at this time she goes to work or leads a secular lifestyle - she often goes to visit, leaves to rest, and leaves the child with her grandmother or nanny - the flow of love is interrupted, the baby begins to get sick more often, develops worse.

And of great importance for a child - not only a baby, but also a preschooler, and even a junior schoolchild - is his mother's voice. The child begins to hear it from the fifth month of intrauterine life, having been born, he recognizes it, reacts emotionally, distinguishes intonations. The mother's voice becomes, as it were, the inner voice of the child. If the mother makes a lot of claims to the little one, scolds that he is not the same as he would like, the child, as it were, is given a program of failures and illnesses. And vice versa: if this voice constantly approves, supports, gives an attitude to happiness, health, then all psycho-emotional processes return to normal.

This is the new psychotherapeutic technique of Dr. Drapkin. It has been worked out and patented, recognized by the All-Russian Society of Child Psychiatrists, adopted by the Association of Moscow Professional Psychotherapists and Psychologists.

Mom for a sick baby is a stronger medicine than pills, powders and potions. A mother loves her child regardless of whether he is obedient or not, sick or healthy. Her love must be unconditional.

Installation for happiness.

A mother may have a reasonable question: "Why should I know all this if my child does not need psychotherapeutic help?"

Well, if so. Doctors say that the number of children with mental retardation and all sorts of behavioral problems is steadily growing: 10-12 years ago they were 25-30%, now they are up to 80-90%. But even if the child develops perfectly normally, he will not be hindered at all by his mother's love, the orientation towards health and happiness.

The phrases to be spoken are not random. Each word is thought out and tested, they cannot be changed. The basic part of suggestion, consisting of 4 blocks, is useful for any child, even the most healthy and happy.

1st block- "maternal love vitamin": with the help of these words, the mother pours her love on the child.

"I love you very, very much. You are the dearest and dearest thing I have. You are my own part, my own blood. I can't live without you. Dad and I love you very much."

2nd block- installation on physical health. With mild ailments, this "mother therapy" alone can cure without any medicine.

"You are strong, healthy, beautiful child, my boy (girl). You eat well and therefore grow and develop quickly. You have a strong, healthy heart, breast, tummy. You move easily and beautifully. You are hardened, you rarely and little get sick.

3rd block- installation on neuropsychic health, normal mental development.

"You are a calm boy (girl). You have good strong nerves. You are patient, you are kind, you are sociable. You are smart. Your head develops well. You understand and remember everything well. You are always in a good mood, and you love to smile. You sleep well. You fall asleep easily and quickly, you see only good good dreams. You rest well when you sleep. Your speech develops well and quickly."

4th block reflects popular wisdom. Since ancient times, a mother took a sick child, pressed her to her and with her inner strength cleansed him of an ailment: "Give me your illness!"

"I pick up and throw away your illness and your difficulties. (Further, the mother names the specific problems of the child.) I take and throw away your bad dream (if the child does not sleep well). I take and throw away your terrible dreams. I take and throw away your tearfulness. I I take and throw away your dislike for food. (And the final phrase in major ...) I love you very, very much.

If the baby is seriously ill, the doctor must develop a special program for his treatment, and an individual treatment will be added to the four basic blocks.

Say these words to your sweetly sleeping kids - and they will definitely grow up healthy, smart and happy.

Time and place.

It is best to practice a new technique when the child is sleeping. He will perfectly remember what his mother said at night. So, 20-30 minutes after the baby fell asleep, sit down by his bed with the text in your hands and read each phrase three times: first mentally for yourself, then mentally - referring to the child, then out loud.

Do this every day: a month, two - depends on the condition of the child. Neither high fever nor other manifestations of the disease are contraindications. But if the mother herself is not in shape - she is ill, excited, - it is better to cancel the session.