How to learn to be kinder? Good doesn't sink! How to be kind and good and at the same time defeat evil with one left hand I want to become kinder and better

True kindness today is a luxury that is difficult to find in the modern world. Many people believe that a good person is one who simply does not do evil - however, in my opinion, this is more of a neutral person than a truly kind one. Kindness must be manifested first of all in thoughts and actions, only then will a person be truly kind and will sow this energy around him.

I have written a short guide on how to become kinder - this guide will help everyone become a little kinder. Thanks to these rules, I became a kind and sweet girl.

It would seem that the absence of bad deeds is already a great result, and is it possible to wish for more? I thought this way throughout my life until, quite by accident, I met a girl who was truly kind and brought light and positivity to everyone around her. To be honest, I was immediately interested in this - I was already thinking about how to be kinder.

It was clear that she puts a lot of effort into this, she sincerely monitors herself and her behavior, tries to be nice and not conflict with anyone. From our conversations, I learned that this behavior is her personal interpretation of a positive attitude towards the world and people, which is largely dictated by religion.

One day she found herself in a difficult situation and no one came to her aid. She learned a lesson from that situation, and decided that since there is so little kindness in the world, then it is necessary to increase its amount. It was with her that I consulted when I was thinking about how to become a kind person.

There is another side to the issue - good deeds usually return a hundredfold. It is unknown how this works, but it has been noticed more than once or twice - once you do a good deed for someone who needs it, you can expect gifts from fate in the near future. They are not always material (and this is even good), but they are always very significant for a person.

The benefits of kindness

• Scientists have proven that kind people live longer. It turns out that being nice is good for your health and longevity.
• Cosmetologists emphasize that kind people only become more beautiful with age - it’s all about facial wrinkles and small facial expressions, which we have practically no control over. In angry and aggressive people, small facial muscles are often tense, which is why the face takes on an unpleasant expression.
• When you yourself adhere to a certain system of behavior, a certain atmosphere gradually develops around you. Who wouldn't want to live the life of a kind and sweet girl?
• Good deeds bring unexpected dividends.
• Fair people are more pleasant, they have more friends - everyone wants to be friends with a nice and calm woman.

How to take the path of goodness

How to become kinder? First of all, you need to define for yourself what it means to be kind and sweet. When I thought about this, I came up with the following concept for myself: goodness is, first of all, a large supply of unconditional love for the world and everything around us and a willingness to do something. Love for the world is a complex phenomenon, but I believe that it should be learned - and not just to seem nice to your friends and acquaintances, but to learn to live a happy life, to enjoy every day you live.

The desire to become better can be achieved through change. In my case, it was necessary to slightly change the concept of relationships with people - I am quite sarcastic, and often offended people. Yes, I’m sure it wasn’t out of malice, but on the other hand, does it matter to the person I offended whether I did it on purpose or in passing?

I thought carefully about my behavior and decided to stop criticizing others without their asking for it, and also refrain from harsh and sarcastic comments. If there is something to praise, if it is difficult to find a reason for praise, just pass by. Ultimately, few people are interested in other people's opinions.

The next step is to learn to do good. I sometimes fed stray animals, and I thought that this was a really good and useful thing. Isn't it bad when kittens go hungry? Badly. And I, therefore, am a young man and a rescuer. However, then I looked critically at my actions and realized that this was some kind of wrong kind of good.

I used this technique to further correct behavior, and thus I stopped bringing pancakes from the dining room to the office of a colleague who is on a diet, started bringing fruits and vegetables to my mother instead of sweets and candies (it turned out that my mother practically stopped eating sweets), and began really cute in the eyes of others. I finally learned to hear the people around me and take into account their wishes.

The ability to be grateful

Love for the world is also expressed. The best lesson that life taught me was the ability to make the world after me a little better than it was before me. In fact, it’s simple - throw away someone else’s candy wrapper, consciously smile at passers-by, put purchases on the cash register in the order that is most convenient for the cashier to count them. Small things like this really help change the world, and if you start changing yourself, the world will respond positively.

The ability to thank people and the universe is an important part of this path. As soon as a person begins to do something, make some decisions, follow principles, he begins to feel the value of everything that happens around him. This is a purely intangible phenomenon, but very important.

Imagine that a heavy door on the subway was not held for you, and it hurt you painfully. Surely you will be more grateful to those people who will hold the door next time, and you will not get hurt. Small acts of kindness from the world and people around us deserve gratitude. Of course, it is best to express it in words or deeds, but the best gratitude in this case would be to continue the tradition of doing small good deeds to other people.

My experience

Good books and good advice from knowledgeable people helped me - I chose several of my friends who I considered positive and kind, and followed their recommendations. At first it was not easy, and then a natural shock happened to me - it was as if my eyes were opened, I began to see how much indifference there was in me and in those around me. The desire to change this gave me strength, and I still try to spread goodness around me.

It's not as difficult as it seems - you just need to be a little more attentive to the world. Every day I ask myself - what can I do today for the world and other people? How can I help our planet become a better place? And you know, the answer is always there.

Sometimes it’s an old lady who has no one to talk to - I patiently walk her from the store to the entrance and listen to her simple news, sometimes it’s volunteer work (I also help an animal shelter), sometimes it’s just something good - planting flowers around at home, look after the neighbor's kids.

My relationships with my family and loved ones have also changed. I can’t say that there are any drastic changes, we have always been friends, but now my parents have begun to truly trust me - they know that I will always come to the rescue. And my little sister is not afraid to share her secrets with me - because now, instead of sarcastic comments, she receives support and love.

New habits

• Listen to the world and the people around you.
• Do not get into quarrels and conflicts, try not to become the cause of them.
• Treat everything that happens with understanding.
• Not only to appear cute, but also to be cute - sincerity should become a faithful companion.
• Making the world around you better.

Now you know how to become a kind person and can make your plans come true. My experience helped me reconsider my whole life, values ​​and views, I became more attentive to people, and learned to love the world as it is.

To become kinder you don’t need to study at university, complete a master’s degree or attend training, just read these 9 tips and start implementing them.

1. You should develop an extremely useful habit of always being grateful for what you have at this time! Most of us have long perceived everything that they have, themselves, their entire lives and all the benefits that it provides us, as a natural phenomenon... Have you ever tried to think about how life is for those people who deprived, for example, of sight, arms or legs? So try for at least ten or fifteen minutes a day to reflect on what you already have, regardless of your own efforts, and to whom or what you simply must be grateful for this!

2. Do not hesitate to always express your sincere gratitude! It is absolutely not necessary to retain those words of gratitude that were brought to life by someone else’s actions in yourself. Never forget to say the magic word: “Thank you!” Standing in an underground passage and listening to a guitar playing like this one or, for example, your friend gave you her umbrella with her because it suddenly began to rain heavily outside? Be sure to thank her for this: she should know how much you appreciate her caring attitude towards herself. After all, sometimes the simplest and most sincere words of gratitude, spoken with a smile, can easily become the reason for a wonderful and inspired mood both in you and in the person to whom the words of gratitude were actually sent.

3. Immediately get rid of the bad habit of discussing anyone! You have probably known this wonderful expression for a long time: “Judge not, and let ye not be judged!” Does it bring you pleasure to understand that you are being judged for some of your words or actions? Most likely no. Therefore, you yourself never rush to sharply condemn someone’s words or actions, of course, with rare exceptions, and in those cases when it is absolutely necessary, and in the end everyone will only feel more comfortable from this.

4. You should be very careful with words of criticism directed at someone! Of course, fair comments are sometimes absolutely necessary, but don’t get too carried away. Remember: “Everything is good in moderation!” In the case when the ultimate goal of all the words of your criticism is the desire to humiliate a person, and not to gently and tactfully, or even jokingly point out some of his mistakes, then in the end it turns out that this is not even criticism, but some kind of - what slander!

5. Strive to treat all the people around you with a certain degree of understanding. In principle, almost every person has his own opinion, as well as his own view of everything that happens in this world. However, this should not create any problems for you at all in order to carefully listen to any point of view that differs from yours and even try to understand and, perhaps, even accept it. It is this manner of communication and behavior with the people around you that will help you to always be sociable and will further expand your horizons. Only people who are too narrow-minded and even stubborn are simply afraid and cannot stand hearing an opinion that is fundamentally different from their own opinion!

6. Try to compliment the people around you as often as possible. Try to concentrate your attention on everything that you like at least a little about them. And, of course, you shouldn’t pay special attention or even notice those little things and any shortcomings of those around you that irritate you. In principle, you can note exactly what you consider worthy of attention and quite appropriate: a new hairstyle, makeup, some interesting details of clothing, a beautiful smile... Very often, someone’s especially pleasant compliments can inspire and even cause life's small miracles.

7. Try to do as many good deeds as possible! If you are driving a car, be sure to let pedestrians pass, and give up your seat on public transport to an elderly person. After all, having done something very pleasant to someone and heard words of gratitude in response or just a smile, you yourself will feel how your mood also noticeably improves!

8. Always and everywhere try to tactfully avoid any conflict situations. Naturally, at the same time, you must make it clear that you can always stand up for yourself and for your own opinion. The point is that you should not use your precious energy for such empty pastime: save it better for doing some of your business! And YOU will notice how much faster many of your plans and tasks begin to be solved and implemented faster and with better quality! Probably, sometimes it will be much more logical to accept and come to terms with the situation that there are people in the world who will never understand and accept you, just as you will not accept them. Take this for granted, and you will immediately notice how much more pleasant and easier your life has become.

9. And finally, as usual, the most important thought. Be sure to be kind to yourself first! After all, kindness is in fact such a holistic and even indivisible concept that the way you treat yourself is the same way you will treat the people around you. Love yourself, and then they will definitely love you too!

Good people, always feel happiness in life and achieve success, but how to become a kind person, not many people know. After all, being a good person is the calling of life and anyone can become one if they wish. But the problem is that many people today are evil and don’t even think about kindness. Such people are selfish and live only for themselves, attracting bad consequences with their negative emotions. Psychologists have provided in this article effective methods so that you can become good and kind by a person, without much effort.

Help people

The very first and best way to become kind human being is to help all the people around him. If you help one person at least for one day, then you have not spent the day in vain, and it will be filled with joy and happiness. The one who helps others is a happy, kind person who has already become or will become successful. So start your day by helping others and you will be energized and happy all day long.

Think positively

To develop kindness and become kind person, you need to start off right and positive. People who think correctly and consciously will always be happy and successful, helping others and becoming kind. Anyone who wants to become a kind person and thinks about it is on the right path in life. Since the meaning of our whole life is to live it not in vain and to help at least one person. To do this, you need positive and correct thinking, which will come to you on its own if you are eager to live life, and not just exist.

Love people and yourself

Until you love yourself, you will not be able to love others, and accordingly become kinder. Take a piece of paper and write on it all your qualities that you can be proud of. Write also your achievements, what useful things you have done in life, what you have achieved and what character and qualities you have. This way you can love yourself for who you are. Be yourself, it’s wonderful because we are all different, and imitating others and being the same is boring and uninteresting. Stop offending and humiliating yourself, as this will not give you a chance to love yourself. Once you love yourself, you will in any case begin to love those around you, which will help you become a kind person. The main thing is that your love for yourself does not turn into selfishness and pride, since many do not see this line and cross it.

Do what you love

Many people understand and see how many people are angry and disappointed in life today. But the whole reason for this problem is that people became angry due to the fact that they do not do what they want, go to work they don’t like, suffer and fight in order to earn their bread and clothes. But this will in no way lead to happiness, success or make you kind. To become a kind person, you need to find your purpose and start doing things that bring you joy. Since it has been proven that doing what you love or doing brings you more money and pleasure. Don’t be a slave to consumption, going to a job you don’t like, exchanging your life for money.

Donate 10% of profits to charity

Even our ancestors had the habit of not spending all their profits only on themselves, but giving at least 10% to charity, those people whose lives this money saves. You can live quite happily on 90% of your profits when you slightly reduce unnecessary expenses. Soon you will forget about the 10% of money you give monthly, since it will no longer be particularly important to you. The one who gives gets more, so you will be a kind person in any case, while remaining well-fed and clothed. The main thing is to give this 10% joyfully to those people you yourself want to help.

Appreciate life and enjoy every moment

We are only guests in this world, why should we waste our time on unnecessary things that do not bring joy and benefit to either us or people. The lived day, hour, minute and moment cannot be returned, since this is the most important and important resource of a person. Everyone is given 24 hours a day, but everyone lives this time differently. Some people don’t have enough time, some do their favorite thing, some enjoy life, some help people. As a result, some people become happy and successful, while others continue to say that they do not have enough time for this. If you don’t have enough time for your own happiness, success and kindness, then what are you spending your precious time on?

Start your day with a smile, smile more often

A lot of literature has been written about the power of a smile, but the main point of it all is to start your day with a smile, smile as often as possible throughout the day and end the day with a smile too. This way you can not only become a kind person, but also gain happiness and success, since positive feelings and emotions attract positive circumstances. This is the law of attraction, which has long been studied and proven by many scientists. Its essence is simple, we attract into life everything we think about.

Therefore, if we see an angry, disappointed and unhappy person, then we can say with confidence that this person constantly thinks negatively. Start smiling at those around you, this way you will become kind, because giving your smile is not a real help for a person. A smile, if it is sincere, is worth all the wealth in the world. Know that your smile is the main tool for helping yourself and people, which is what kindness is.

Treat yourself and people the way you want them to treat you

As they say, you are greeted by your clothes, but you are escorted by your intelligence, and this is true, because it plays a big role precisely in the first seconds of communication, and then your mind determines whether a person is smart. If you want to be a kind person in the eyes of others, become kind to yourself and people. This is an incredible method that is always effective, especially if you want to find real friends. Remember, life is beautiful, the main thing is to believe in it, and be kind to yourself and others.

psycho- olog. ru

You don’t have to graduate from university to learn kindness - study and implement these 9 rules on how to become a kind person, and you simply won’t recognize yourself.

1. The fundamental rule in the case is how to become a kind person, there is the ability to be grateful to everyone and everything for what you already have. Too often we take what we have for granted and for granted. And at the same time we constantly grieve for what we don’t have. Try to appreciate what you already have and imagine that someone else doesn’t have that either.

2. If possible, give thanks! Especially if words of gratitude are simply bursting from your chest. Make it a habit to say a simple “thank you” whenever appropriate. This way you will automatically learn to be grateful and can become a kind person.

3. Impossible become a kind person, if you are constantly discussing someone. Especially in disrespectful terms. Imagine that someone allows themselves to behave this way at your expense. Will you like it? Surely not. Therefore, try to evaluate someone only when it is truly appropriate.

4. Watch yourself when you criticize someone. Of course, sometimes it is important to make some fair point, but do not overdo it. Become a kind person perhaps when criticism is aimed at pointing out mistakes to a person. Then you give him the opportunity to realize them and correct himself. If you try to humiliate him, reduce his achievements or qualities, you will not succeed in becoming a kind person.

5. Try, at least a little, to understand each of those around you, no matter how badly he behaves. Everyone has their own opinion on certain things, and it is not at all necessary that it will coincide with yours. Treat this with understanding and patience. This will improve your communication skills and broaden your horizons. Don't limit yourself to just your own opinion.

6. Give people compliments, and as often as possible. Find something about everyone that you really like. Try to divert your attention from what irritates you about the person. It is enough to simply note a good hairstyle, good makeup, excellent pants - and a person will already feel joyful in his soul. Sometimes this inspires people to great deeds.

7. Strive to do more good deeds. At every step, even in small things. Letting a pedestrian pass even where he shouldn’t cross, picking up a fallen thing for someone, giving up a seat in a vehicle - all this makes you kinder, even from your inner feelings. And if you hear words of gratitude in response, nothing can replace this joy.

8. Don't get involved in, try to avoid them. But leave behind the feeling that you can stand up for yourself. The most important thing is not to waste your inner energy on unnecessary squabbles. It is better to direct it to necessary and, again, good deeds. If you see that you are still not understood and are unlikely to be understood, take it for granted and move on. Once you make this decision, you will feel how much easier your life is.

9. And most importantly, don’t forget to show kindness to your loved one! It is impossible to be kind if you are unable to be kind to yourself. First of all, you must love yourself, and only when you feel this, people will also begin to show reciprocal feelings towards you.

That's how simple they are 9 rules for becoming a kind person.

Every person since childhood has a dream of becoming someone: an actor, a lawyer, an artist, a doctor, an athlete... Dreams of becoming famous, successful, gaining status in society prevent us from remembering the most important things. Few people set their main goal to become a Human. A person who does not care about fame or endless estates. A man with a huge letter!

Chasing success, people tend to forget what is truly the greatest treasure in the whole world - kindness. Many now may disagree with this, citing many examples of good deeds and deeds. This, of course, deserves praise, but now we are not talking about the number of good deeds, but about doing them not for show, but with the soul.

What could be more wonderful than the feeling that the help provided can become salvation for someone? And it is very easy to become a good person. You need to stop for a minute and think why people are given life. They say that beauty will save the world. No, there's no point in denying it. You just need to add one small detail - the beauty of the SOUL will save the world.

Some people believe that kindness is a weakness, a lack of character, and a liability in such a cruel world. This is an absolute mistake. After all, it is a strong person who is able to show empathy and kindness to others; for the weak, all actions are only in words. Kindness fills people with incredible energy, which leads to spiritual enrichment and improvement.

Research in medicine and psychology shows that positive emotions are an extremely powerful and important aspect for increasing life expectancy. People with negative thinking are more susceptible to illness, low mood and depression. Envy, resentment, feelings of revenge and anger cause deterioration of well-being and weakness in a person. And it is worth drawing the conclusion that such a lifestyle leads to moral decline, first of all, for this person and only then for the people around her.

Advice to everyone who wants to change themselves, become kinder and happier:

To become a good person, you must first of all give the attitude expected in return. You can't expect someone to treat you well if you treat them differently. And don't wait for someone to take the first step. We must be an example for others. And then the return is guaranteed.