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The first date, especially if you really like the man, often causes trepidation and confusion. To feel more confident, girls just need to know a few secrets and be able to use them correctly. In this article you will find topics and questions for a first date with a man.
Most often, when people are not yet very familiar, stiffness arises. A man can become silent, and a girl, in order to fill the void, constantly talks only about herself. This gives people the wrong impression of each other, and as a result, there may not be a second date. But it’s much worse when on the first date the conversation doesn’t go well at all.
Of course, every girl wants to know if a man is suitable for the future. It's always exciting. And the right questions will help you figure it out. We offer simple topics that will help you get to know a man, and will not be too personal or intrusive.
By asking how many years he has been friends with his comrades, you can find out how loyal and devoted he is. If a man still has childhood friends, he talks freely about them, this is a good sign. And if he refuses to tell, it means he has something to hide or he simply doesn’t have any.
Not everyone is ready to share their dreams on the first date. But it's worth a try. You need to know a man's preferences. Especially if you are on the same path. And it’s really sad if a person doesn’t have a goal. Plans and goals are, of course, not exactly dreams, but every person should have them. You should not associate yourself with people who are not going to achieve and develop anything.
Of course, not everyone has to be a professional athlete. But more often than not, every guy has a favorite sport that he plays or watches on TV.
This is one of the most important questions. Because you may have to spend your leisure time together. It is important here that your opinion on this matter largely coincides. If a guy loves nightclubs and spends all his time there, this may not be bad if your opinions coincide, but in everything you need a middle ground. Dependence computer games will also not lead to anything good. He will devote no more time to you, if not less.
Many people have bad habits. And not everyone is ready to part with them. You need to immediately decide which of them you can tolerate. True, not everyone can talk about this on the first date. But such things as gambling or smoking are unlikely to be hidden by anyone. If there is an addiction to gambling, this means that the interlocutor lacks the sharpness of impressions.
You also need to alternate between monosyllabic questions that can be answered “yes” or “no” and expanded questions.
There is no need to rush anywhere. This is not a competition. It is important to learn to listen and give time for answers without interrupting the interlocutor, taking pauses between questions.
You need to start with easy and general questions. This will provide an opportunity to get to know each other better and will not cause unpleasant constraint:
Then you can continue with more serious questions. Especially if you really like the guy. This will help build trust and find out more about the character of the interlocutor.
Don't forget about humor - you don't have to interview your interlocutor with a serious face.
Here are a few questions to clear things up:
Several techniques can create a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere:
And in conclusion, it’s worth talking about what is better to remain silent about. These are questions you shouldn't ask on a first date. For example, it is better to avoid asking questions: “How is the weather?” and “How are you?” It's boring. Makes the conversation uninteresting.
You should not directly ask about your financial situation - this may raise suspicions of self-interest.
You can confuse your interlocutor and make you doubt your interest in a person and not in material values. To do this more gently, you should ask indirect questions. You can, for example, ask: “At what age did you first drive?” or “Where do you work?” Basically, the answers to these questions give a very transparent idea of the material condition of the interlocutor.
It is better not to touch upon topics of economics, politics, or religion. Although in practice this does not always work out. Your views on these issues may not be the same, and this may cause conflict.
Also, on the first date, it is better not to touch on previous relationships. This can still be a very sensitive topic. On a first date, you want to start with a clean slate, so you shouldn’t touch on this topic. The question of what kind of women he likes falls into this category. He can choose for a long time between the answer: “People like you” and a detailed narrative about what they really are like.
The result is correct questions asked you can determine how suitable a man is, how similar your goals and values are.
Give your attention to your interlocutor and everything will work out. This is the most valuable thing in the world.
A first date is an expectation of something new. It's exciting and exciting. Of course, this is the moment when two people try to get to know each other and understand whether it is possible to continue their acquaintance and what the prospects may be. But finding out the details can be quite difficult to reconcile with the high emotional arousal that, in general, should be present on the first date. The first meeting is very fragile and it is very easy to ruin it with a careless word. What topics should you avoid and what questions should you not ask and why?
Dating is different. There is a date with a high degree of uncertainty in the future, based on fantasies and conjectures - what will happen, how it will turn out, what to talk about, how everything will go. That is, what is usually called an ordinary, or normal date.
There are dates with a very specific purpose, which is well known to both parties. For example, this is an acquaintance by prior agreement to start a family. They are more technical in nature and it is appropriate to ask a lot of questions that would be ridiculous on a normal date.
There are dates when partners come for different purposes. For example, one partner comes with emotions, expectations and hopes, and the second, with a very specific goal - to understand whether he is suitable for creating a family, having children and securing a future. More often than not, such a pragmatic approach is characteristic.
Actually, this is the most interesting case where misunderstandings arise. Does such questions make sense and why?
If a woman comes on a date with a list of questions that she wants to ask, and a man is in joyful anticipation with the hope of continuing the acquaintance, then they are on different wavelengths.
When the rational collides with the emotional, the emotional almost always goes away, and almost immediately. This means that if a woman asks her first rational question, then male enthusiasm immediately disappears. You are ruining the moment he has been waiting for all day or even several days. What happens in this case? It's very simple - from an object of hope and desire you turn into an object of irritation. And, if you continue to ask your rational questions to an irritated man, you can be sure that he will become even more irritated.
So the possible result is an irritated man getting even more irritated.
Of course, you can hardly find women who take out a list of questions from their purse. Everything happens a little more subtly. Let's just say that most ladies expect to ask leading questions very carefully and discreetly, using their acting talents.
So, few people succeed in this. Most people, regardless of gender, tend to overestimate their abilities. This means that at most a few percent of interviewers will be able to get the necessary answers “subtly”.
A man on a first date is really emotional, but not blindsided. In his subconscious there is also a fear that the woman will not turn out to be what he expected, in particular, she may just turn out to be a hunter in search of a husband. So he subconsciously senses the game and insincere phrases very well. Especially if the man is no longer a boy. So, don't expect him to be oblivious to your interrogation. And, if he really doesn’t notice, then, perhaps, he is unlikely to have any outstanding qualities necessary for everything you want to ask him about.
Is it possible to get truthful answers from a man when you ask him questions from the “list” on the first date? Hard to say. You will probably be able to get an answer to the first question while the man has not yet figured out which direction the “wind is blowing”. Then he will begin to get irritated and either try to avoid answers or will not tell the truth. An experienced man understands that if you ask questions about the family, about the future, this means that you are out hunting, and he is the game. But, as you know, in love, as in war, all means are fair. So, don’t be surprised if he answers “correctly” to all questions, and after a few more dates you won’t see him again. And, moreover, he perceives it as a fair deal.
In general, the best course of action is to enjoy the date, the casual communication, and the potential continuation. That is, act traditionally. This way you can better understand the person. Only, you need to make sure that the sparkle in your eyes does not give away the hunter of her husband.
If time is important to you, then you may end up dating multiple men. But there are easier ways.
If you are not at all satisfied with this traditional method of selecting a long-term partner, maybe it makes sense to turn to quick dating or a marriage agency where preliminary selection has already been carried out? It will be more honest, faster and more productive. In the end, when searching for a life partner, the speed of searching is important.
These are all very correct questions that can be clarified, but not immediately and not head-on, but carefully and gracefully.
How to behave on first dates? What to talk about and what questions to ask a man.
In the previous article, we examined in detail the whole in order to determine whether this is your man or not. Is he destined for you or is it better to look for another man - YOURS.
Now let's look at the most time-consuming way to understand whether a man is right for you. And it lies in identifying his life goals and values... and comparing them with your own.
How to behave on a date? How to have the perfect date with a man?
Identifying values should be a core part of your dating conversations. You need to use your time wisely to find out. better than men u. After all real love based on knowledge and acceptance, not on guesswork and immediate feelings.
If your goals and values have absolutely nothing in common, then such a family is unlikely to last long (for example, you want to have two children, but he categorically does not want to have children; such news is unlikely to make you happy after the wedding).
However, first you will have to clearly define your goals and values, so that you can then compare them with the values of a man.
A common mistake many women make is that on a date they talk a lot about themselves, and often the date turns into some kind of self-presentation.
Here you need to remember the rule: on a date he talks more!!!
But at the same time, it is you who set the topic, listen to him with interest, and in no case criticize or ridicule him during the conversation!!! He should feel that now he is the whole Universe for you!
Believe me, men love to talk about themselves. And they really appreciate women who listen to their companion with genuine interest. And if you listen diligently, you will inspire your man to have even more honest conversations.
By getting to know the men you date, you can quickly identify options that are not suitable for you, and thereby save your life time. It's better to stop dating now than to end up in a bad marriage.
So, you need to ask the right questions, listen to him with interest and analyze the answers.
Before we look at the questions to ask on dates, I would like to immediately draw your attention to several important points about the very first dates. These are the highlights of first dates!
They are needed so that your partner is always looking forward to meeting you. So that he looks forward to meeting you.
1. You need to leave first, alone, to your home and no continuations at anyone’s home,
2. First dates should last about 1.5 hours. You need to leave in the midst of your meeting, when both of you are feeling very good and having fun - this creates a Cinderella effect, when a man has a great desire to definitely see you again and look forward to the meeting.
3. A date is not entertainment on your part, but a serious selection for the position of your beloved husband, so before the date you need to make a list of 5-7 questions that need to be answered. Write these questions down in a notebook so you can refresh your memory later on a date. We’ll discuss what questions to ask soon.
4. The sequence of questions should be as follows: first you ask about the past - then about plans for the future - and only then move on to the present. Because people are more willing to talk about the past and the future, about what happened and about their dreams, and in order to talk about the present, you need to get a little closer.
5. For a man, the word FALL IN LOVE is equal to the word INVESTMENT... with emotions, time spent with you, money. You shouldn’t hype men up for money, it’s not environmentally friendly!
It is better to generate warm feelings and stormy emotions in him, and this is done precisely with the help of the ability to ask the right questions and thereby evoke the right feelings in a man. And just like that, we’re back to the questions that need to be asked.
In this video, we will look step by step at the first few dates and what information can be obtained on them. I'll also post all of these questions below so you can print them out for yourself and save them!
First date
On the first date you can ask your man:
Second date
On the second date, you can ask the man about his professional hobbies:
You don't have to ask all these questions at once. Just choose a few basic ones that are most important to you, and during the conversation you can always adapt to your interlocutor and develop the desired conversation.
Third date
On the third date:
Fourth date
Fifth date
Here you need to understand his most important life goals, values and his potential. If a man directly says that “he is not ready for serious relationship", then in most cases, it is hardly worth spending time on it.
In general, here you can directly ask the following questions:
Sixth date
Clarification of his relationship to healthy image life. This is a very important point! Everything matters here - smoking, overuse alcohol, binge drinking, friends who are drug addicts or criminals, what serious illnesses you have had in your life, whether you are capable of hitting a woman.
Yes, yes - you don’t have to laugh, you have to figure out the situation right away so you don’t have to cry later.
The formula for a woman’s happiness is to love and be loved by a hero!!!
A woman should admire her man, and do it sincerely. Can you admire a man who constantly drinks and swears? Or who is capable of hitting his own mother? Think about it!
There is another very good test of any person - get him drunk and angry. You just need to incite anger not towards yourself, but towards some third-party object. Here you generally learn so much about a person that you would not learn under any other circumstances.
It’s true that you don’t need to get your man drunk on the sixth date, much less drink with him, you can just tactfully ask how he behaves when he drinks too much? How often does this happen and what does he do about it? Do not ignore such important issues so that later it does not come as a surprise to you!!!
Here is a list of sample questions to get you thinking:
These questions can be asked in a slightly humorous manner, but you will still understand the answer.
Seventh date
What to do on the seventh date. Since you have been dating for so long, it means that according to the previous parameters, the man suits you for the most part.
You can move on to the most piquant interview!)
You can start asking about sexual preferences. Here you can give free rein to your fantasies and ask about what is important and interesting to you in this matter. What if he likes to make love with two girls at the same time? Or does he love men?)) Who knows))
It would be good to clarify how often he is checked for sexually transmitted diseases. For a woman, this issue is extremely important, since some sexually transmitted diseases are not at all dangerous for men, but pose a serious danger for a woman and her unborn child. Do not forget that you will need to give birth, and give birth to healthy offspring, so be vigilant in this matter. Normal, decent men will not see anything bad in this matter. On the contrary, they will appreciate your concern for their health, and therefore the health of your unborn baby.
So, you have identified the most important points - the goals, values and preferences of your companion. You matched them with yours.
If your and his main goals diverge, it is better to start looking for another man.
If you become an obstacle in a man's path to his cherished goal, then your marriage will be doomed from the very beginning. The same applies to your goals.
And if your views on life are similar, and you are looking in the same direction, then successful family life quite likely for you.
P.S. Let's summarize. Have we considered? Is he really the only one out of a thousand who will be the ideal life partner?
In fact, there are many such methods, but these four are more than enough to answer this question. Choosing a partner is a very important thing and can entail many consequences, so be extremely careful! Listen to your heart and your intuition. They will never deceive you!!!
Preparing for a first date comes down to more than just choosing a place and cultural program. Very important point- these are topics for communication with a girl. The first impression made on her will depend on how interesting and relaxed the conversation is. In our article you will find a list of one hundred questions for a girl and step by step instructions how to make your own.
For those people who already know each other (through study, work, communication in the same company), it is much easier to start and maintain a conversation, since there are already the first points of contact and, accordingly, common topics. For those whose first date is, in fact, an acquaintance (for example, the first meeting “in real life” after communicating on the Internet), this is a serious test.
Embarrassment, awkwardness, pauses - these are the typical difficulties that the majority of guys and girls face on a first date.
It’s good if both are sufficiently sociable, it will not be difficult to start and maintain a conversation. It is somewhat more difficult for those guys who are not so sociable and self-confident, and especially if they have their first date in their life: they agonize over what to talk about with the girl, what questions to ask her so that they are not trivial, what to ask at the first meeting, and what to leave for later, what topics to come up with to make it interesting and fun for her.
Sometimes even the very fact of a first date with a girl can lead a man into confusion. And in stressful situation, which is what it is, the brain tends to “switch off”, and all the prepared speech and compliments completely fly out of the head. Therefore, the most win-win option is impromptu, but reasonable impromptu, thought out in advance.
There is a simple and effective method, the essence of which can be borrowed from the interview preparation strategy, is practicing communication skills (in other words, rehearsal). A first date is an equally important event that requires concentration, creativity, sociability, and ingenuity from a man.
First, you need to decide what is already known and what else you would like to know about the girl: her range of interests, hobbies, hobbies, life views and priorities, occupation (study or work), and in these areas you subsequently need to develop topics for conversation and look for common interests.
Having thought through the main directions, you can sketch out for yourself an approximate list of questions that you would like to ask your interlocutor and that it would be interesting to discuss yourself. For the first meeting, up to 10 topics will be enough, but you need to have at least 10-15 reserve topics in stock (in case the discussion of these issues “does not work” or some topics turn out to be uninteresting).
Step 3
Actually, a rehearsal. You can work through the selected questions in front of a mirror (according to the list, acting out the dialogue in one person), you can record it on a voice recorder or video, you can attract an assistant (a sister, for example). At first glance, such an activity may seem stupid, but this is far from the case.
These 100 ideas are just a small part of what you can ask a girl to get to know her better.
Questions not to ask on a first date:
Such questions are incorrect and can only confuse or upset the girl. It will be possible to talk about past relationships during further meetings, when a sufficient degree of intimacy and trust has been established, but not at the first meeting, even if you really want to. Also, on the first date, you should hold off on asking questions about sexual preferences, etc.
No need to ask permission to kiss. It is very likely that, even if the girl doesn’t mind, she will refuse.
Questions regarding weight, body measurements, and income level are offensive for a woman and should not be asked at all.