What to do if nothing works out? Tactics of “constructive failure. It’s not working out at your new job - what’s causing this and what to do? Nothing works out at my new job

Ecology of life. Life hack: What you need to do to get used to it faster and pass the probationary period with dignity. This month...

This month, thousands of people will find themselves a new job, where they will initially have to go through exciting moments, proving that they are worthy of their place.

“The first three months at a new job are a continuation of the interview. From day one, you need to prove your worth,” says Amanda Augustine, employment consultant at TopResume.

We've collected her tips for you on what you need to do in your first week at a new job to be successful.

1. Actively get to know your colleagues

Feel free to be the first to make acquaintances. Say hello to everyone in the elevator, cafeteria, and even the restroom. It will pay off in the end.

Augustine advises: “Start with your environment: those who work directly with you.”

Your adaptation to the new team is in their best interests, because your work is directly related to what they do.

2. Ask a lot of questions

In the first week, absorb as much information as possible. If you're going to make big changes, you first need to understand how things work here and earn the trust of the team.

3. Be humble

Nobody likes a know-it-all, and even if you think you're the best worker in the world, you probably don't know absolutely everything. When a new colleague or boss offers you help or advice, accept it.

Never answer that your previous company did things differently. People really don't like it.

Even if you don't really need help, demonstrating a willingness to listen to someone else's advice will boost your coworkers' self-esteem (and perhaps allay their concerns about you). In addition, this may come in handy in the future when you really need help.

4. Make friends with an experienced colleague

Find out who has been working in the company for a long time and enjoys authority in the team. An experienced employee who knows how everything works here will help bring you up to speed.

“Each company has its own style of communication and jokes for its own. Find someone who can help you understand the abbreviations and relationships within the team,” advises Augustine.

Plus, you need someone you can ask about little things - don't go to your boss and ask where the printer paper is.

5. Understand what your subordinates and superiors expect from you

“Talk to the boss. During the first meeting, try to understand exactly what is expected of you in the first week, month and quarter in a new place,” advises Augustine.

At the same time, if you are a manager yourself, it is important to clearly explain to your subordinates what you require of them. Don't forget that your behavior and communication style in the first week will set the tone for the rest of your work.

6. Try to understand the relationships within the team

Pay attention to small behavior patterns of your colleagues. It is likely that one of them was aiming for your place, so be vigilant.

Try to make friends with your employees and use their best qualities for the common good to avoid conflicts when forming a team.

7. Find out where the coffee is

For successful work, it is always important to know where the coffee is stored and how the coffee machine is turned on. It is also necessary to understand the unwritten rules of office etiquette, violation of which can lead to a real explosion in the team. Who washes the cups? On which shelves are shared cookies stored?

8. Find out where you can get takeaway food.

Explore your local area and find out where you can buy a sandwich, have a cup of coffee with someone you know, or have a delicious business lunch.

In addition, you should be aware of where you can buy band-aids or medications if necessary.

9. Invite different people to lunch

Friendships with coworkers will benefit you more than you might think. And the sooner you start making friends, the better.

Try to expand your social circle and invite different people to join you for lunch or a cup of coffee. New acquaintances will show you the best establishments in the area, which is also an important plus.

Plus, if you leave the office for lunch in the first week, you'll develop a habit of carving out personal time during your workday. Ditch the idea of ​​sadly eating lunch at work.

10. Be organized and disciplined

You'll be exposed to a ton of new information in your first week, and if you're diligent from the start, you'll find it much easier to get into the swing of things. The first weeks of work in a new place are a great time to overcome your disorganization.

11. Show off your strengths

“Challenge yourself to demonstrate the strengths you talked about in your hiring interview,” Augustine advises.

If you said you're a great social media person or great at working with data, immediately start working on social media or get into advanced analytics.

And record all your achievements. Write down everything you managed to do, all those times when you were able to make a big contribution to the common cause, and when your work was positively assessed by your superiors. It’s better to get into this habit right away: then this information will help you when assessing the effectiveness of your work and negotiating a salary increase.

12. Be as visible as possible

Attend all available meetings and don't hesitate to voice your opinion. Not only will this help you understand who and what matters in your company, but it will also help others get used to your presence. Show that you are an expert in your field, and colleagues will know who to turn to for help in the future.

Once you are officially hired, immediately update your social media accounts and follow your new company and co-workers for updates. Strengthen your relationships with new people by adding them as friends on Twitter and LinkedIn

Also interesting: Interview: behavior speaks louder than words

23 signs you're burned out at work

14. Write to former colleagues

Oddly enough, the first week at a new company is the perfect time to connect with people from your previous jobs.

“Email your former colleagues and ask them for recommendations for LinkedIn. But the best time to collect feedback about yourself is when you are not yet looking for a new job,” advises Augustine. published

If you got a new job and noticed with horror in the very first days that you are completely unsuitable for it, don’t despair. It is very possible that in the near future your problem will be solved by itself.

And that's why.

Difficulty at a new job - reasons

Let's reveal a little secret: working in new conditions is difficult for everyone at first. You will have to deal with it, even if you are a recognized expert in your niche.

Needs time to adapt

Most likely, you simply did not have time to understand the company’s affairs, adapt to its corporate culture and acquire skills that were previously unclaimed.

Why rush things? Another couple of weeks will pass and you will catch the right wave.

The main thing is not to pretend to be an omniscient expert. Feel free to ask your colleagues for clarification when you are confused by some unfamiliar task.

Stress is to blame for your problems

As you get used to people, places, and schedules, you unwittingly expose yourself to stress. Against the background of general anxiety, any minor mistake can become a reason for panic (and, consequently, for other mistakes).

To break out of the vicious circle, get plenty of rest on weekends and in the evenings. In your case, the idea of ​​taking work home is a very bad idea.

If you have serious, persistent anxiety, consult a psychologist. He will give useful tips to help you regain self-control.

This duty station is not suitable for you

Such a reason is unlikely, but it cannot be completely ruled out. You should think about another job and/or profession change under the following circumstances:

  • your character is preventing you from fulfilling new responsibilities (for example, you took the position of advertising manager and suddenly discovered that it was very difficult to meet people);
  • the assignments you are given do not objectively correspond to your qualifications;
  • You can't concentrate on your work because of unacceptable working conditions, and management refuses to change the situation for the better.

One way or another, don't rush into a decision. Look for, but do not notify your superiors about your doubts.

We live in a world that is driven by success. Have a successful career. To a successful family. Successful appearance. We are surrounded by success stories from all sides, our feeds are overflowing with happy mothers with ribbons in their hair and smart, photogenic children in their arms, former colleagues who quit smoking and now run marathons every day after breakfast, and distant acquaintances who constantly win tenders and complete cool projects, make films, launch rockets into space and move this world while we delve into our routine.

And although we understand that the picture on the social network does not reflect reality much, although we know in theory that if you dig deeper, then behind every success story there is most likely a series of failures preceding it, it is very difficult to get rid of this external pressure. Especially when we ourselves can’t do anything. Once again!

failures

Failures are hard to experience: failure at work (and scratches on your professional pride), failures in your personal life (and wounds in your heart) - all this is a rather traumatic experience. However, at the moment of despair that covers you when you realize that nothing is working out, and all your efforts have gone to waste, and it is unclear what to do next, and there is no strength to start all over again - at this very moment it is important to pull yourself together and realize that there are no “failures”. There is a result, and any result can become a starting point for something new if you use the potential of the moment wisely.

What to do when nothing works out?

Take a break

Stop, stop beating your paws on circumstances, like a frog that got into a can of milk. Something didn’t work out for you, you gained experience and will move on in life. The most important thing is not to let panic, despair and resentment towards the world, yourself and the evil Saturn, who entered the constellation Cygnus and spoiled you from there, provoke you into stupid actions (words that you later want to take back, but it will be too late, or burning bridges that will then have to be built again...).

The best thing you can do when you can't do anything is stop.

Print out the mantra “great things take time”

And before you dive into the well of self-criticism, do something useful: go to Google and look for stories of great success. You'd be surprised how many stupid things successful people do before achieving anything. It's completely normal to make mistakes and try several times before finding your way. You are doing everything right, you are hitting the bumps: every bump will serve you well in the future, you will see.

Read this post about criticism and unjustified expectations, and stop doing it.

use the “detached viewing” technique

When you finish poisoning yourself with pithy internal monologues from the series “what a fool you are!!!”, and feel ready to again be an adult responsible for your actions, try to look at everything that you have done as detached as possible. In such situations, coaches suggest remembering your project as if you were watching a movie - literally imagine yourself from the outside. Where did your project begin, when did the first problems begin, how did you react - this helps to better see where exactly you made a mistake, and at what point something went wrong.

Maybe you initially set yourself an unattainable goal? Or did you run out of time and resources? After going through all this experience, what would you do differently if you knew what you know now at the beginning of the project?

Photo: Inirida Gomez Castro

You'll be surprised at all the interesting things your friends and colleagues can tell you about your failure if you ask them the right questions. The general formulation “What to do?!” leave it to Chernyshevsky to get useful information, ask for specific advice on the topic of a project that didn’t work out (“What should I do to still get a job in this company?”, “How to avoid getting into a relationship with a married man again?”, “How to teach a child to love vegetables?”, “How to make renovations in an apartment without killing the foreman?...”).

Listen to different opinions and choose for yourself what helps you understand the reasons for failure.

Rethink and move on

Perhaps nothing works out for you simply because you initially took on something that is completely not yours. And continuing to put effort into a project that has already failed (personal or work) makes no sense. Or perhaps you just made a number of mistakes that can be corrected, and you just need to change your approach to business. Or tools. Or find additional resources. Or a partner. Or... In general, you understand: before giving up and abandoning an idea, evaluate its potential; it is quite possible that it is worth moving on by changing tactics and strategy.

The only thing you definitely shouldn’t do is continue in the same spirit and hope for a new result, this definitely won’t happen.

Plan the next steps

Success depends on many factors, among which talent and perseverance do not always play the main role. If you are putting in effort and there is no result, then stop, rethink what you are doing, develop a new strategy and only then move on.

Perhaps you need additional training? Or advice from a professional psychologist? Or a heart-to-heart conversation for which you need to create a trusting atmosphere? Think about what could be the turning point, the magic kick that will turn your failure into success and give you the acceleration you need. Plan your steps, set yourself a time frame, draw a beautiful plan and move on.

Photo: Sana Mentelm

Life consists of failures and achievements, without the first there is no second, since any failure is a valuable experience. And someday, when you post a photo on social networks with the tag “I did it!”, you will definitely thank fate for this experience.

What do you do when nothing works out for you? Do you have any proven ways to avoid doing something stupid? What tactics do you use in such situations?

We have all experienced failure at some point. There could be many reasons for this, but let's be honest, in most cases they all boil down to one thing: when life offers us some opportunities, we tend to avoid the pressure and difficulties that come with moving forward. It’s much easier to immediately accept defeat: who knows what awaits you on the way to your dream?

And here are the 10 main reasons for failure, which represent entire strategies for avoiding working on yourself. Following these strategies, we will certainly end up in failure. Read and cry.

1. You're afraid to stand out

Any society monitors each of its members so that they do not demonstrate excessive self-confidence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher

People don't like it when others change or do things that make them feel uncomfortable. When you challenge yourself to achieve your ideal, others perceive it as a threat to their inner balance. The success of others makes them reflect on their own failures and wasted potential. This is quite unpleasant, so most people will react to your actions.

This is the truth of life. If you want to achieve something extraordinary, something that will set you apart from everyone else, you will have to understand that you are different and learn to live with it.

People will call you weird, crazy, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, obnoxious, stupid, rude, shallow, insecure, fat, and ugly. They will try to “bring you back to reality,” to force you to behave like a “normal” person. Perhaps those closest to you will be the most cruel to you. If you are not confident enough in your ideas and desires, then you will not get far.

2. You lack tenacity

In 2009, Karl Marlantes finally published the novel Matterhorn, based on his own memories of the Vietnam War. The book became a bestseller. The New York Times called it "one of the most profound and affecting works about the war." According to Black Hawk Down author Mark Bowden, Matterhorn is the greatest book about the Vietnam War.

How did Marlantes achieve such success? For 35 years he sought to have his book published. This is more than half of his entire life. He rewrote the manuscript six times. In the first two decades after the book was written, publishers rejected the novel as soon as they read it.

There are quite a lot of such stories. Remember, who was considered mediocre. For twenty years he persuaded Pamela Travers to agree to the film adaptation of her book.

Most of us give up too quickly on the path to our cherished goal. But almost every success story is also a story of perseverance and struggle. Nothing truly worthwhile comes easy.

3. You lack modesty

Just don't confuse modesty with shyness. Many people, having barely achieved something, begin to consider themselves experts in their field. Modesty means understanding that you don’t know everything.

Truly great people know that they know nothing.

It’s interesting that the people who most like to talk about their success are people whose achievements do not represent something supernatural. They are the ones who often become coaches and begin to teach everyone and everything how to achieve high results in their business.

Conversely, self-made people who have made a real breakthrough in their industry usually talk little about how they managed to do it. They either downplay their accomplishments or simply don't mention them. Instead, these people admit that they make mistakes and openly talk about their weaknesses and what they still have to learn.

4. You are unable to network and build strong relationships.

In the modern world, the ability to communicate with people is extremely important. There are even separate trainings on how to master it. In some industries, it is extremely difficult to advance without the art of networking. In addition, you simply need to be able to ask people for help. However, sometimes our fear, self-doubt or, conversely, arrogance interfere with our communication with other people and make us miss valuable opportunities that could change our whole life.

66% of hired employees know someone from the company they will work for. But even outside of business communication, the desire for isolation can ruin all your efforts. In addition, it often leads to depression. The ability to build strong romantic relationships is also closely related to the ability to meet the right people and interact productively with them.

5. You would rather argue than follow someone's advice.

The desire to prove that you are right, instead of improving yourself, is a guaranteed path to failure. To achieve, you need to follow a cycle in which there is necessarily feedback.

Try something → get feedback on the results → learn from it → try something new.

People who would rather die than reconsider their position often break this chain and do not accept feedback. Therefore they will never change.

This does not mean that we should listen to all the advice we are given. The point is to take into account the information that comes to us as feedback, regardless of whether we consider it useful or not. You shouldn’t strive to defend your position at all costs, just to look like you were right all along.

People who suffer from this problem are usually extremely insecure. This is a bad combination. The smarter a person is, the longer he will rationalize his failures and find excuses for himself. He uses all his intelligence to build a defense mechanism for his fragile ego.

6. You get distracted too much

We check the VKontakte news feed, Facebook, go to the mailbox, Facebook again, VKontakte again, what a cool comic, share it on Facebook, check the mail again, respond to the VKontakte message, wow, pictures with cats, share and by them, we repeat from the very beginning.

Do you recognize yourself? This is not something worth wasting your time on, right?

7. You don't take responsibility for what happens to you.

Do you constantly find excuses for yourself? This way you won't move forward. To solve problems, you need to take control of your life. But you can't take control of your life if you don't take charge of it. Therefore, if you do not take responsibility, you will fail.

Yes, it is very tempting to blame what is happening on external factors, to insist that you could not do anything, that you are not to blame, he came himself. But maybe it’s still worth giving yourself an imaginary slap in the face and soberly assessing your contribution to the current situation? The sooner you do this, the sooner it can be fixed.

8. You don't believe success is possible.

To win, you need to believe in the possibility of victory. This is not about self-conviction, and there is nothing supernatural about it. Your subconscious beliefs about your capabilities affect your actual performance.

For example, research Self-Deception and Its Relationship to Success in Competition. showed that athletes who had an untrue but positive view of their abilities demonstrated better results than athletes with a more realistic or pessimistic attitude.

In addition, people who overestimate their capabilities are much easier to rise to. It's easier for them to take action. And when you learn from your mistakes, you eventually come to success. So sometimes a little illusion can serve you well.

9. You're afraid to care.

Many people catch the virus of indifference. Nothing really inspires them. Such people do not dare to fully devote themselves to any business, project or goal. Many of them give up very quickly. Others simply lose interest. And many don’t even have the strength to start.

Chronic indifference is an insidious defense mechanism. It saps the motivation and inspiration you need to get rid of it. This is how a person ends up in a vicious circle.

On an unconscious level, many people are afraid to take on something with all their might, because they understand that they can fail. This failure can trigger in them a flood of thoughts for which their psyche is not at all prepared: questions about their own worth, competence, the question of whether you are worthy of love, and so on.

Typically, people who use this mechanism get rid of it only when a new emotionally intense situation occurs in their life, which they manage to cope with.

10. Deep down, you don't think you deserve what you want.

Moving progressively, we come to the main reason for failures, which is often hidden behind those described above. This is the belief that you are unworthy of what you would like to receive.

Many of us have suppressed our most unpleasant feelings and ideas about ourselves, but this does not make them disappear. These ideas developed in different ways: some were bullied at school, some were constantly told by teachers or parents that they would not achieve anything in life, some were not loved by their peers for their abilities. All this leaves an imprint that is difficult to get rid of. As a result, the very thought of achieving high results often makes us uncomfortable.

If we feel that something is not rightfully ours, we always find a way to get rid of it.

The disadvantages and advantages of high position make some feel like kings and others feel like cheaters. Sometimes, as we approach success, a familiar inner voice begins to speak within us, feeding our fears and self-doubt until we destroy everything we have achieved. It could be a relationship with the best person we've ever met, a dream job we're hesitant to take, a unique creative opportunity that we trade in for more practical pursuits.

Whatever it is, hidden fears come to the surface and find a way to destroy what you strive for. More precisely, they force you to destroy it.

Here it is, the harshest truth lying behind our failures. It's all about you. There is no one else in this equation.

And as long as you deny it, your fear will not go away. He will be an invisible barrier separating you from happiness. You will constantly hit it, but you will not be able to break it. There is a way out, but you will have to be prepared for pain and suffering. Otherwise, you will not be able to face what is stopping you from achieving your goals. You will face the same problems again and again. Over and over again until you are ready to admit that they exist.

The roof of the house beckons...
I really want to fly... But bad people don't fly. I can't do my job. I can't do all my responsibilities well. And it’s so immoral to do something you don’t know how to do.
Lord, every day I want all this to end and I really want to start everything from scratch.
I am so ashamed, disgusted at what I didn’t do, didn’t finish. It's so unpleasant to feel untalented. It's my fault... I don't know what to do. I get scolded every day... Deservedly. I’m quitting, but I’m so afraid that I won’t succeed in my new job either.
I'm good. I really want to be good, but I can’t do anything.
Forgive me to everyone I caused trouble to. I did not want. I have no malicious intent.
Lord, this makes me feel so bad that I don’t want to live. I don’t know how to fix this... And if it weren’t for Mom, I would have already jumped...
Support the site:

Forgive me..., age: 21 / 08/27/2009

Responses:

Yes, dear. These are not your judges, but your friends. No need to jump, no need to drink or cut anything. You're good, you're just lost. Write your story on the forum. Problems at work are not at all a reason to refuse such a gift as life.

Olga, age: 22 / 08/28/2009

So you're good! It is clear from your letter that you are a good person! You love mom, you don't want to let anyone down. You're going through trouble. Bad people don't feel or act like that.
Smart girl. Mom must be loved and taken care of. Wander around the site, read what happens to mothers after the rash steps of their children.
Trouble at work? Or maybe this is not your job? Should I look for a job in a completely different area? Think about what you like to do? Prepare? Paint? Play with children? Dance? Embroider? Try to find a job that brings you joy.
You can’t change your life, but you can change your job!

Elena, age: 52 / 08/28/2009

So you’re only 21 years old and it’s clear that nothing is working out, and everyone thinks I’m an undyed blonde too! And I don’t even know shit about my job! Bye! but I read a little articles on my topics, I look at all sorts of forums. and why do you have to do everything right????? and in general it’s their problem that they can’t properly train an employee!

Lyudok-holodokk, age: 23 / 08/28/2009

Hello!
Do you think your boss also knew everything and could do everything when he just came to work? Well then it turns out that he is a great genius, since he knew everything :)) But this is nonsense.
It's not a shame not to be able to, it's a shame not to want to learn how to be able to. In any business you need to show enthusiasm and curiosity. Ask more questions to knowledgeable people.

Are they scolding? So this is wonderful. This means they believe that you are worth something and can do something. If they thought of you as completely untalented, they would quickly fire you rather than waste time reproaching you. When people criticize you, you need to agree with everything and thank them for the criticism.
You are human and you make mistakes. A feeling of annoyance is more appropriate here; it takes just a little bit of energy. Most likely, you are tormented by ideas of your own greatness, thoughts like “I should always be on top”, “I should always please everyone.” You just need to perceive yourself as an ordinary person with all the thorns and thorns. OK?:)

Homeless man from Rublyovka:), age: 26 / 08/28/2009

My darling! What kind of work is this that brings you so much grief? You are not mediocrity. You are a smart man who just hasn’t found his way. It’s not at all immoral to do something you don’t know how to do. We are all learning. And we don’t know how to do something. You can do something. Maybe you're a good cook. Or something else. Think about it. And choose. Hold on! You clever. Good luck!

Ekaterina, age: 24 / 08/28/2009

Yes, the bad ones don’t fly... And the good ones too...
And we all sometimes do something wrong, leave something unfinished...
Maybe you can show me a person who is praised every hour at work? Do you know someone like that? Judging by your age, your career is just beginning!!!
Dear girl, you are too demanding of yourself! Don't take on something you're not confident in your competence...
Start with something small. Be glad that you were able to do it, then it will be more and more difficult...

Learn to notice your successes, and not just failures (of which everyone has plenty in life)... Find out and sort it out, find the reason for your failures in the past, and try to work on eliminating it. Can't reconcile credits and debits? can't construct an airplane from scrap materials? is this a reason to commit suicide? Pay better attention to what you really know how to do, and develop these very skills in yourself!!! (the remark “I can’t do anything” is not accepted!!!)

You are no worse than others... Almost every person has a set of certain qualities in order to live normally and work normally...
It’s not mediocrity that’s hindering you (mediocrity is a nominal figure invented by a person, an offensive word that has no real meaning), it’s self-doubt that’s bothering you...
And it's great that you are thinking about your mother!!! It’s crazy: you’re young, you have a loved one who loves you and for whom it’s worth fighting and your whole life ahead of you... Think about it!

Inna, age: 25 / 08/28/2009

And what are you doing. what kind of work is this?

Listen, those 21 years are still a very young person, so where would you get the skills to work?
You have to learn, you have to gain experience
no one knows how to do anything IMMEDIATELY - everyone has to learn

And what are they scolding...well, are they scolding and what?
scolders also didn’t immediately become pros, that’s why they scold
If you learn how to work, you will become a big boss :) (if you want) and you will teach others :)

Hold on, man

Redhead, age: 30 / 08/28/2009

You know, the Lord directs every person to his (that person’s) calling, to the work in which he is most capable of benefiting people. This is only a stage of your life, but you definitely need to go through it, and if you go, you will definitely find it, you will feel it with all your heart : “this is mine”! Ask God: “Lord, give me reason!” Just live, don’t give up.

Tusya, age: 30 / 08/28/2009

Regarding what to do - do a job that you like - you will be the best at it. There is a choice - don’t get a job you don’t like. Every person has a talent for something, get a job based on your talent.
Regarding the fact that life is not nice - have you been abroad, traveled to other cities, gone to new places in your city? there are so many interesting things in the world. You can’t even imagine how amazingly made you are. Refusing the opportunity to live is unwise. You need 3 things in life - 1. understand what your talent is, 2. stop being afraid, 3. realize your talent))

Vlad, age: 22 / 07/11/2013

Complete nonsense. Don't even worry about it. I'm 10!!! I was fired from work 10 times on the initiative of the administration. and this despite the fact that I am not an alcoholic or a drug addict or a truant. There will be a place where it will work for you. Look around, there are plenty of people like you. At least taxi drivers or salespeople, who are they? Most often, people who did not succeed in their main profession. You just need to identify your strong qualities and try to realize them.

Ivan, age: 35 / 04/07/2015


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