Why did daddy die? Dad died. How to cope with the death of your father. Acknowledge and mourn the loss

I'll light a candle in the cemetery,
Let it burn to the ground.
And I’ll whisper at the grave,
Well, here I am, daddy!
In the ground cold and damp,
Perhaps you're freezing?
Get up! Let's go home already!
After all, just like we miss you!
And stop calling it home,
There is a blind hole in the ground.
I want to hug you so bad
Also Brother and Mom.
Well come back! Stop sleeping!
Look how the sun is shining!
I'll help you get up from there,
Just let me know!
Tell me it's a joke
And we'll laugh together.
And holding hands, like in childhood,
let's go home!!

Again sadness squeezes its paws tightly
Digging his claws into the depths of my soul,
I miss my dad more and more...
Six billion people on earth,
But among them - not a single one, believe me,
Who could fill this void...
I live in hope of meeting after death,
Having crossed the threshold of Eternity...
Fatigue is accumulating more and more...
Let melancholy not separate your paws,
I remained there somewhere as a baby,
And daughters love their dads more...

Yes, I'm an adult, I understand everything,
but it doesn’t make life any easier!
I still miss you terribly!
Continuing to love just the same!
Continuing to think about daddy,
And remember him, the living one.
Touching the heart strings,
That it will never be raised.
That he will never be heard
That he will never wait.
He's probably higher than all the clouds
In God's unknown space...
He sees us, of course he sees us,
And just like us, he’s just as bored.
He flies after us like an angel,
To be at least a little closer to us.
Of course he would like to return,
But he will never be able to
In this world he will not wake up,
Nothing will warm his heart.
And that only makes it more painful,
But it’s impossible not to think about him.
Every day my soul becomes heavier,
And it’s hard to come to terms with it, daddy.
And damned time does not heal,
And it doesn’t heal these wounds,
And the emptiness inside cannot be filled,
I'm tired of fighting with myself!
I want to spit on everything, forget myself...
And return home with a smile.
See happy faces there
And so that daddy is alive again...

He was with me. Always and everywhere
Laughed, cried and was sad.
I will not forget the bottomless eyes.
And I know that he loved me.
I know no matter what happens
He always protected me
And only the memory remains for me
About him. And I blame myself
That I couldn't say goodbye
What I didn’t have time to understand
That I am destined to part with him,
Lose him forever.
I know for sure that I deserve it.
I couldn't save him.
But I loved you madly
And I will always love.
Let him not hear me now,
But I know what he sees
How hard it is to breathe without him
The one who called him father...

Days come, nights go...
And the heart cries and calls.
You know... somewhere very close
All the time... my daughter is waiting for you...
And my daughter... keeps her name in her heart...
Keeping it in my chest like a talisman...
And he whispers quietly (you’ll suddenly hear):
"I miss you so much... come..."
And you will come, having heard as if...
And you will protect your sleep...
And like fog you will melt away in the morning...
And my daughter... will wait again.
And the nights will follow the days...
I can't get the melancholy out of my chest...
My daughter keeps whispering... very quietly:
"I miss you so much... come...

When the stars light up in the sky,
One of them is yours - I know it...
For many years you have been shining with a bright light,
But here everything is the same, then winter... then summer.
The same day and exactly the same way to live... people strive.
Your family is tired of tears...
everything is as usual, but only without you.
Tell me, how do you live there in heaven?
Is there anger, envy and lies there?
This probably doesn't happen there.
and no one knows cunning and meanness.
You found peace there and found shelter for yourself,
and you know, they are waiting for you here as before...
Let them say that the years heal, the pain erases,
But why is the heart aching, there is no strength,
from the glance of one at your portrait.
Oh, how short your earthly life was,
My best dad, my closest person.

Time does not heal, time is kind
But my heart still hurts as before.
I won't meet you again, I won't hear you again
How are you, my dear daughter?

Unfortunately, we are not all given
To turn back what I wanted for a long time.
Time doesn't heal, time is in a hurry
It is this that decides all destinies.

We feel sorry for you that we didn’t have time.
Everything you wanted in this life.
It passed by, but alas, it cannot be returned.
I chose the path with the angel on my way.

Today marks 10 years since my dad passed away...
You've been gone for 10 years... 10 years...
10 years is an eternity...
10 years without you... 10 years...
Only now I understand - forever...
How so, dad, dear dear
Forever you left without saying goodbye
10 years, 10 years...
I’ve been suffocating for 10 years without you...
Dad, dear, look how we have grown -
children and grandchildren!
How we want to cuddle up to our chests
and forget about separation forever...
But now I’m only going to the grave
and I close my eyes tiredly...
10 years for a huge disaster,
10 years is not enough to forget...

Well, hello, dad. .. here, I came to you early.
Sorry I haven't seen you for so long.
I'm so confused, I don't know how to move on.
Trouble comes after trouble again.

Do you remember, dad, how we celebrated birthdays?!
How, rejoicing together, they joked and had fun.
How, all the bad weather seemed like an obsession to us.
How, together they sent TU to hell to attack.

Your advice came in very handy -
So that I can be the strongest in this world.
Believe me, I learned from them like the ABC’s.
I was able to teach my children using them.

Also, you, dad, taught me not to cry.
Don't give in to your destiny for anything.
And if it’s difficult, you should never fall.
And in this life, do not be afraid of anything.

Ehhh. .. if only I knew how much I miss you!
A tear fell! (I promised no tears).
From the heart to the earth, flowing through the soul.
To you, my dear, through the chamomile churchyard

The wind is blowing through the windows. dries wet eyelashes.
How we miss you! to forget on your shoulder,
Irreversible loss. It's like my soul was broken...
I still can’t believe that you are somewhere in stardust.
There is pain in the heart of memories. and lilac shadows
In indifference to the touch, I lie down on my knees.
The wind blows through the windows. it comes from you.
And you are missing in this world...not enough....

How hard it is in the world
Losing loved ones.
Nothing can replace it
Parental roots.
When my dad died
It was so hard! And the pain in my soul remains,
Even though many years have passed.
He rarely comes in dreams,
But in my thoughts I see
His portrait is distant.
The earth protects him, his soul flies
In the distant skies
He's watching me
With love and tears.
Sometimes it's not enough
His support for me, And my heart knows:
He is in heaven, not in the fire.
I really want to snuggle
TO HIS CHEST big
And enjoy the meeting.
Just like in childhood, with all my heart! Hear his voice
Affectionate, dear,
Both strict and angry,
Parental like that.
How precious are moments?
All our sweet meetings, And these meetings can
Kindle the fire of the soul.
This fire will help
Will give me strength to live.
Father! Come to the meeting
At least in my dream!

You are now beyond the heavenly line
My beloved, dear person
Death with a merciless, hard hand
Took you away, dad forever

You won't give me advice
I won't see your loving gaze
I won't be warmed by you
Who is to blame for your death?

No! Nobody! It just happened that way
You are in God's arms now
My life has changed without you,
My heart became like a wounded animal...

Without you it beats differently
And sadness tears him to pieces
My heart yearns and cries
The soul is tightly squeezed in a vice...

I won’t disturb your peace with tears
I will live in bright memory
I learned to listen to silence
And love you endlessly...

Hello, dad, dear... how are you there?..
The most loving man in the world...
You know, if you count the years,
You'd have wrinkles now...

I would kiss them jokingly
Or she whined in her sleeve when she felt bad.
You would whisper that the years fly by
But I'm still such a fool...

I stopped dreaming about you completely.
If you don’t come, tell me, is this necessary?
With the rain, give me news - how are you there?.. -
I will be desperately glad to see her.

I'll tell you how I live,
What am I writing, who am I not looking forward to meeting again...
And that I'm barely staying afloat
All hoping that “time will heal.”

And it ticks rhythmically to the beat,
It takes a long time to sew seams - not for the weak.
You know, if you count the years...
Gray hair would suit you very well...

This is one of the saddest events in every person's life. Sometimes it is impossible to give any recommendations, because the question is quite personal. Some people don’t need anyone at all; they try to isolate themselves and disconnect from the whole world. Some people want to receive support and find support in loved ones.

Unfortunately, find solutions Problems It’s not so easy, but you can come up with something to distract yourself at least a little. It is still better to share such a misfortune with someone, because this way you will spend at least a little of your energy and share your experiences, and this is very important for the psyche.

How to cope with the death of your father?

1. Don't rush yourself. Many begin to look for a problem in their personality, do not allow themselves to show emotions, and limit themselves. In fact, psychologists say that sadness and crying are healthy because it relieves stress. If you keep telling yourself that you can’t be sad, this will create additional problems; you may feel guilty if you suddenly don’t keep your promise.

Once upon a time, in the Victorian era, even time was allocated for longing for a father - from two to four years. Some people come to their senses much earlier, while others need much more years. It all depends on the person, as well as on the circumstances, because death from old age is inevitable, albeit a little, but we all understand it. It is much more difficult if it is a sudden death, it is much more difficult to survive this. In any case, do not set limits for yourself; recover from a disaster exactly as much as you need.

2. Don't forget that your father wished you well. This means that no thoughts of suicide should ever occur to you. Imagine how your father would react if he suddenly found out that you had decided to die? He loved you, so he always wanted only the best, it is important to learn to live in such a way that he can be proud of you.

Think about what activities bring you pleasure, try to start doing this again, so that you can imagine how your father would smile when he sees you happy. This, of course, is not easy, because not everyone can start playing active sports games when they feel sad, but always imagine in your head your beloved dad, who would be glad to see you in the rays of happiness and joy.

Try not to disappoint him all areas of life. This is the most important thing you can do for your father now.

3. Keep your father in your memory. The most valuable thing you can do for him, because he is no longer with you physically, but in your head he will always be. Remember that this way you can immortalize him in your thoughts, remember him as he was. Be sure to keep a diary in which you write the pleasant moments that you lived together, be sure to describe how you feel at the moment, so you can always return to your memories and know that you have not forgotten anything. Talk to people who knew him. These could be his friends, colleagues, acquaintances.

4. Don't forget about yourself. First of all, people who lose loved ones sleep poorly. This is due to the fact that they are constantly under stress, and this negatively affects their nervous system. Make sure that your sleep lasts at least 7-8 hours, otherwise your body will not have time to recover. Do not refuse food under any circumstances, because this is a physiological need.

You can refuse from delicious food, if you blame yourself for having fun, but leave the basic products. Remember that your lungs need to breathe, your heart needs to beat, and your cells need to renew themselves, and to do this they need calories. You should have at least 3 meals a day, and also ensure that you do minimal physical activity. This will give you a little emotional relief and will also help you feel better physically. Of course, we all understand that healthy sleep and tasty healthy food will not help you cope with this problem, but this way you will be able to function normally and perform your usual duties.

5. Analyze what exactly is causing you sadness. Sometimes this helps to smooth out the pain a little and get out of a state of depression. It is important to understand at what moments you feel an urgent need for help and support. Remember that you can always ask your family and friends about this. Try to remember what you liked to do with your father? What exactly are you missing right now? For example, you played board games together, watched a comedy show in the evenings, or visited certain establishments. Just ask someone close to you to keep you company.

This will make you feel closer to father, you can enjoy warm memories and have a great time with your loved one. Take a diary and write out your entire day from start to finish. You should have a lot to do and only take breaks for meals. This way you won't feel alone and will get rid of the feeling of loneliness.

6. Don't make spontaneous decisions. Often the death of a parent makes you think that everything in your life has no meaning. Many begin to destroy their families, careers and radically change their lives. In fact, this will not lead you to anything good, but you will make a lot of mistakes, which you will then need to work on long and hard. Remember that besides your father, there are other people in your life who need your attention and love. Don’t forget that you will need a good job at least to feed yourself.

Someone like this moments there is a desire to move to another city, to divorce your other half, but now such thoughts come to you because of depression.

All the grief of dad's death in one clip

When someone close to you dies, the feeling of loss can be overwhelming. There is no one that is easy to let go of. So when a father dies, it may seem impossible to cope with the loss. Is this a normal reaction to grief? How to deal with your feelings? How to cope with the death of your father?

Acknowledge and mourn the loss

Very often, the first feeling that comes after hearing about the death of a loved one is disbelief. Death is not a natural event, so what happened seems impossible. It may seem that by disagreeing with this you can avoid the experience. Therefore, denial or disbelief is normal. This is why there may not be tears immediately or at the funeral.

However, after a certain time, awareness still comes, and this is always unexpected. Sometimes such feelings are said to be “overwhelming” or “encompassing completely, not allowing you to think about anything else.” During this period, you need to give vent to your feelings and mourn your loss.

You can't let someone else decide whether a grief reaction is normal. Some may feel like they are grieving too much or not enough. It is better to forgive and forget such an opinion of others. The reaction to grief is an individual concept, and no one can impose their own standards.

One way to release your feelings is to cry. Although it may seem to someone that if a person restrains his feelings it will be easier for him or that this is a sign of strength. Actually this is not true. A person cries not because he is weak, but because he is in pain. Tears are a natural reaction; the body is designed in such a way that, along with tears, substances that calm the nervous system are released. In this way, tears really help to calm down. True, this does not apply to people whose crying turns into a hysterical state.

You can ease your worries by talking about your feelings. It can be stopped by fear of misunderstanding or reluctance to upset others. But if everyone struggles with grief alone, it will only make the situation worse. After the death of dad, it will be easier for mom and children if they unite with each other. And for this you need to talk, including about experiences, fears and pain.

There is no need to compare yourself and family members, deciding who is worse off and who grieves more. Everyone feels bad, and trying to support each other makes it easier to cope with their feelings.

There is a good chance that someone in extreme pain will say something that hurts feelings. It is worth remembering that now this person is talking about his pain. Most likely, he doesn’t really think so, it’s just how he feels at the moment.

There are situations when you can’t talk about your feelings, or there’s simply no one to talk to. Some people note that they felt a little better after they expressed their feelings on paper. This could be a diary in which everything that worries you is written down, or letters to the deceased. One woman wrote letters to her son for more than ten years. She says it helped her get through her grief.

Guilt

Regardless of what the relationship was with dad, whether family members lived far from each other or close, because of which he died and other factors, a feeling of guilt comes to everyone who had to lose loved ones. This is how our subconscious tries to explain what happened. My thoughts pop up: “if I had persuaded him to go to the doctor...”, “if we hadn’t quarreled then...”, etc. It's part of the reaction to loss that you can't come to terms with. It is worth remembering that these feelings are not a real reason to look for the cause of what happened in your behavior.

Guilt is a symptom that appears regardless of circumstances.

We must remember that no matter how much we love the deceased, we, unfortunately, cannot foresee everything and direct his every step. To miss something imaginary or real does not mean at all that the father was not loved. Wishing someone death and failing to foresee anything are two different things.

It is clear that no one had any desire to harm his father. Therefore, there is no need to consider yourself guilty of his death.

Feelings of guilt after the death of a father can be directed not only at oneself. Questions may arise for other family members. If you just scroll through them in your head, you can really believe in someone’s guilt, direct or indirect. If these thoughts haunt you, during a conversation it is worth gently clarifying what the family member thinks about this. The main thing is to refrain from making accusations.

The purpose of the conversation is not to find someone to blame, but to get rid of thoughts that can deprive you of peace. If it seems that this conversation cannot be avoided, you need to choose your words very carefully. And you shouldn’t be surprised when you hear counter questions - most likely, thoughts about someone’s guilt arise in all family members.

In addition to guilt, there may be a feeling of missed opportunities. So much has not been said or done! Unfortunately, no one can be the perfect child for their father. This doesn't mean Dad wasn't loved enough. This means that all people are not ideal, and this must be recognized in relation to yourself.

How to live on

Immediately after a tragedy occurs, it may seem that life has stopped. Most likely, problems with sleep and appetite will begin. You need to make a conscious effort to return to your normal daily routine as soon as possible. If you can’t return to your normal routine, it makes sense to seek help from a psychologist.

You should not solve the problem with alcohol. Thus, problems simply accumulate, and their solution is postponed. It is more difficult to resolve issues in an advanced stage.

Making decisions

Often the father has many responsibilities. But even if this is not the case, after his death there are many serious decisions to be made. These include questions such as:

• What to do with the things of the deceased and everything that reminds him of him?
• Does a mother need to move in with her adult children?
• If the children are too young to earn money, how can a mother support her family? How can they help her?

Some people believe that it is necessary to immediately get rid of the things of the deceased so that nothing disturbs the soul. However, many widows and children of the deceased later regret that they hastened to such a decision. Of course, at first these things will most likely cause pain and may need to be removed. But then, when the pain subsides a little, a strong desire may appear to touch anything that was connected with the deceased. Therefore, it is worth leaving something as a keepsake.

Another serious decision is for the mother to move in with her adult children. To children, this may seem like the only right decision that needs to be made as soon as possible. However, such a move is additional stress for the mother. There is no need to rush her: perhaps the best place for her to mourn her loss is in the house where she lived with her husband.

It can be a very difficult situation when the mother is solely responsible for financially caring for her children. Immediately after the incident, there may be a thought: “after my husband’s death, I no longer need anything.” This is not selfishness, this is pain. But this is a situation when you need to think about the future of your children and your own. It is worth asking someone close to you to find out about possible benefits and payments in government agencies and at the place of work of the deceased. There is no need to refuse help.

Don't go to extremes. If, after the death of her husband, the mother throws herself into work, the children may feel even more severe pain. You should not expect that after redistributing responsibilities everything will immediately improve. You need to give yourself and your family time to get used to such changes.

Patience with yourself and others

Often the pain of loss weighs on a person longer than he expected. Therefore, you need to be patient, without judging yourself or family members for a sudden surge of emotions. From year to year, seemingly gone feelings can return again and again. This is fine. Sometimes those who mourn a loss are thrown from one extreme to another: either they want to constantly talk about the deceased, or they don’t want to remember, so as not to cause themselves pain.

Patience will also be needed in relation to others. Most likely, many of them will feel awkward and not know what to say. In such situations, people often say something out of place or tactlessly - not because they have malicious intent.

Some who have lost a father become frightened when the acute pain begins to subside. It may seem that your love for him has weakened. But that's not true. Letting go of pain does not mean forgetting. It means focusing on the good things that happened and moving on with life. This is not a betrayal, but a gradual restoration of the nervous system.

Of course, immediately after dad's death, it may seem like relief will never come. But if you accept and grieve your loss, take your time making big decisions, and deal with your emotions patiently, you can feel better over time.

Irina, Pyatigorsk

A child’s father has died - what to do, how to explain to the child about death and how to console him? It is not always possible, by looking at a baby, to understand how he feels and how hard he is experiencing the loss. Some children may cry, some may express emotions through words, some may even change their behavior and psychological state. How to be an adult, how to behave in this situation so that the child can bear the loss as easily as possible.

Moral aspect

When telling your child this news, it is very important to be frank and in no case dry in your emotions. With your intonation you need to show that his reaction is important to you and that you yourself are very upset. If your child has questions, you need to answer them as honestly as possible. Of course, all traumatic details should be omitted. This is especially important if the death was sudden or violent.

It is important not to prohibit your child from experiencing emotions. It would be correct to show sympathy and say that you also miss dad very much and that you are also very hurt and bitter.

Often children begin to worry about their or your safety and ask when you or he will die. In this case, it is very important to make it clear that nothing will happen to him or you, that you care about your health and safety, that he is the most important thing in your life, therefore both you and he will die only in deep old age.

From my own experience, from practice, I know that it is very difficult to be close to a child experiencing the death of a loved one. But what is it like for the child himself if it is difficult for an adult?

A child, experiencing the death of a parent, comes into contact with his own insecurity. And the feelings that a child experiences can be different: at the initial stage, a person does not believe that something irreparable has happened, it is impossible to believe it.

When an understanding of what happened comes, the child may experience mixed feelings: fear of death, a feeling of abandonment, anger.
The death of a loved one may be perceived as a betrayal of oneself, and at the same time the child may consider himself to blame for the death of the parent; and also experience the fear of losing the other parent.

And it is difficult for a child to cope with these conflicting feelings. Tell the grieving child: “What is happening to you is normal. This happens to anyone who experiences loss.” Don't hide your tears and don't hide your sadness.

Share your bitter feelings with your child, because children do not yet have experience of grief, and the child simply does not know how to express his pain. Talk to him about his father, draw, look at photographs. Positive memories of a deceased loved one will help a child accept the fact of the loss and find a place in their heart for the memory of the deceased.

• Allow your child to show any emotions, including tears.
• Allow him to cry. Don't be afraid of your child's tears.
• Tears provide an opportunity to grieve...
• Don't be afraid of the intensity of childhood experiences.
• Just be close, physical contact is very important for a child.
• “I'm with you, I'm close. Do you want to talk about it?"

It is normal to have intense emotional outbursts over many months. This happens to anyone who experiences loss.
Grief includes many different feelings - anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, and even, ultimately, joy.

How do children of different ages experience grief?

As mentioned earlier, the perception of the death of a loved one largely depends on the age of the child. How is grief expressed after the death of parents in children, preschoolers and teenagers?

Children under two years old

During this period, the child, of course, does not realize the loss of mom, dad, or both parents. However, he notices that those who care for him have changed emotionally. Feeling this, the child may become irritable, noisy, and may refuse to eat. Possible urinary problems and intestinal upset.

Child at two years old

The child knows that if he does not see his parents, he can call them and they will come. At two years old, the baby still cannot understand what death is, so he continues to look for mom or dad for a long time. To support such a child, constant care is needed not only emotionally (love, warmth), but also physiologically (proper nutrition, sleep).

Children aged three to five years

Children of this age need to try to very gently explain that mom or dad has died and they will not be able to come back. It is likely that the child may have a fear of the dark, the child may suddenly change his mood, cry, feel angry or sad.

It is possible that the baby will begin to complain to you about abdominal pain and headaches. You may also notice skin rashes or a return to thumb sucking. During this period, it will be useful to remember the bright moments spent with the deceased, as well as preserve the traditions established by him.

If a child walked with dad in the park every weekend, you should do this too; if in winter they always went skiing, do not change this tradition.

Children aged six to eight years

At this age, children often, and even more so at school, ask each other about their parents. You need to prepare your child for such questions. Encourage him to answer simply: “My mother died.”

Explain to your child that he is not obligated to tell the details of the death or talk to strangers about things that are personal to him. During this period, some children may behave differently than their classmates: be more emotional and even lash out at teachers.

Children aged nine to twelve

At this age, the child already strives for independence. Only the death of a loved one does not give you a free hand; on the contrary, it can impose a feeling of helplessness. The child’s experiences can manifest themselves in aggression against adults or elders, fights, and poor academic performance. In addition, children at this age may have practical questions: “Who will drive them to training?”, “Who will give them pocket money?”

During this period, children can rethink their role in the family. For example, a boy who has lost his father may want to take his place. Adults should notice this and try to create all the conditions so that the boy has free time to play, so that he can study in clubs and communicate with children of his age - in general, so that the child has a childhood.

Adults who care for a child should try to explain to him that enjoying life and getting pleasure from it is good. And mom or dad will only be happy if their child is happy.

Teenagers

Perhaps the teenage period is the most difficult for a child. And if it is at this time that the death of a loved one occurs, this can be fraught with bad consequences. In this case, the child may try to find help outside the home, among new, not the best friends, who may offer him to forget with the help of drugs or alcohol.

Teenagers do not want to show their feelings, so some of them stubbornly continue to remain silent for a long time, but in their souls they experience death so strongly that they have a desire to commit suicide. During this period, it is important to show your child that you love him, no matter what he is like, that in any case he can count on you and your support.

Consolation in Religion

It is very important to adhere to certain religious beliefs. Such beliefs provide comfort. You can break the news something like this: “I know that dad is now with the angels and God. I believe that he is looking at us now, we just don’t see him and he can’t talk to us…. However, he will hear us if we turn to him mentally or in prayer. He died, but he didn’t stop loving you.”

Various rituals (memorial services, funerals) play a large role in the recovery process. They help to better understand reality and understand that a person actually no longer exists.

However, if a child is afraid to see a dead person, then you need to explain to him that children do not have to attend such rituals. You can come up with your own ritual and perform it with your child. For example, read a prayer together, send a balloon into the sky (imagining that it will reach dad), write a short letter, burn it and scatter the ashes to the wind, etc.

Memories are very important. Some time after the loss, it will be useful to look through photographs and videos and remember dad. Good memories are one of the most important parts of the recovery process.

Of course, children will long for a deceased adult for a long time, but soon they will be able not to cry when remembering him. They will remember their father with a smile if the recovery process is approached correctly. It is described in more detail in the literature on psychological topics.

Funeral ceremony

Why should a child attend a funeral? Saying goodbye to the deceased is one of the most important moments of the funeral ceremony. Tell your child that everyone will come to say goodbye to the deceased. At a funeral, the child (and other people) come face to face with reality and become truly aware of the fact of death. This is a very sad moment, and there is no need to hide your grief.

Find comfort and perseverance in faith. The church service will be held in accordance with your religious beliefs, and this may indicate a belief in life after death. Many children feel calmer if they believe that their parent (the person himself or his soul) is in heaven.

Should young children attend funerals?

Most children over 6 years of age must attend the ceremony. For children aged 3 to 6 years, a decision is required on a case-by-case basis. A child should not be forced to participate in a funeral, but he should be given a choice. The presence of a child is desirable; during this difficult time, the family should be together to make it easier to endure grief together in the future. During this time, everyone supports each other.

Pre-preparation helps. It can be helpful to research ahead of time what will happen during the church service and funeral. A family member, friend, priest or funeral director can help you with this.

Parting gift? Ask your child if he would like to leave anything in the coffin - a drawing or a letter. This will allow the child to say goodbye to the deceased in a special way and feel like a real participant in the events taking place.

Alternative to funeral. Most families have a traditional funeral method. If cremation is used, the process must be explained to the child. You can, for example, say: “The body in a very hot fire turns into soft ash. These special ashes are placed in a special urn.”

Reality through the game. Play is an integral part of children's lives. It is completely natural for a child to act out a funeral or pretend to be sick and dying in a play situation. Don't worry when you see a game like this.

If you are reading this booklet after a funeral, you may feel that you have not done everything right. Don't worry, you did your best. Focus now on what's ahead.

Documentary issues

In the event of the death of the father, the child needs to receive a survivor's pension. You need to contact Social Security or the Pension Fund to register it.

If the parents are divorced, the child does not lose any rights to the father's inheritance. He is the heir of the first line, along with other children, if there are any. A minor child cannot be deprived of a share in the inheritance, even if there is a will in which he is not mentioned.

If, for whatever reason, the child was not registered in the name of the father, then the law makes it possible to establish paternity even after death.

When considering cases of this kind, the courts proceed from life circumstances that in one way or another indicate the paternity of the deceased. This could be various letters or statements to a school or kindergarten in which the father mentions the child, testimony of witnesses (relatives or friends of the deceased), etc.

When considering such cases, it is very important not to confuse the concepts of the actual father and the person who participated in raising the child. Sometimes it can be different people.