Reasons for screaming psychology. The person constantly screams sickness. A man screams when he is unhappy with himself

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the container in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." (c) Mark Twain

Screaming is a topic that relates to every person on this planet because everyone has raised their voice at least once in their life. Some people yell regularly, but we're all guilty of yelling at some point. There are ways to respond to a heckler that will help defuse the situation rather than continue to make it worse.

Yelling in a relationship is not healthy and its results do not bring anything good. A person may give in to the screamer at the moment of screaming in order to stop it, but once everything returns to normal, they usually return to their opinion because the screaming did not change their worldview for long. For example, a mother who yells at her children to pick up their toys ends up with the children picking up their toys at that moment. But this does not change their mindset that they should collect their toys all the time Children will learn to collect toys if you teach them the carrot and stick system, then they will understand the importance of collecting toys.

Screaming ruins relationships. This is not a constructive method of dealing with a difficult situation, but every person resorts to shouting. Some more than others. You need to be aware of your own screaming, understand why some people scream all the time, and also know how to deal with a screamer.

When someone in your life constantly yells at you, they are expressing emotional tyranny towards you. Their goal is to gain an advantage in a situation and yelling is their way of gaining control over you. This is a form of intimidation. Shouting may work temporarily. But long-term use of the results of screaming does not bring anything good, because this method forces a person to do what the screamer wants. Yelling is not healthy for a relationship, it actually destroys healthy communication and intimacy in a relationship.

Why do people scream?

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” - Mark Twain

When someone gets angry and screams, there are many reasons why they scream. Most of the reasons they yell aren't worth yelling at, so it's important that the person being yelled at reacts appropriately, meaning they shouldn't respond by yelling to yelling. It's important to understand why someone screams because most often screaming is an indicator of problems in the human psyche that have absolutely nothing to do with the person being shouted at. Their cry is a reflection of emotional instability, even though it should show strength and dominance in the situation. Below are some reasons why people shout when they are angry:

Inability to cope with difficulties

Many people scream because this is their habitual mechanism of behavior in difficult situations. But such a mechanism does not have good long-term results. If a person screams because this is how they have learned to cope with difficulties in life, they need to be helped to find better ways to manage their emotions. He may use emotional outbursts to cope with difficulties, and this is not healthy for him or for those on whom the emotions are outbursted.

Losing control

A person may be a screamer because they feel they are losing control of the situation. They may be overwhelmed by thoughts, feelings, and emotions and feel a loss of control over everything at once. This is a big confusion for them, so they scream to gain control over what they are feeling. They lack the skills to cope with difficulties and gain a sense of control over the situation and environment, so they resort to yelling to feel in control. They may gain this feeling of control, but most of the time it is temporary because most problems are not solved by yelling. It may seem that the person agreed with the screamer just to calm him down, but in reality, the problem remains unresolved.

Feeling threatened

Often, abusers are people with a very sensitive emotional core and they try to protect this core. Every time they feel that the core is under threat, they act. Screaming is one of the tools they use whenever they feel threatened.

Aggressive tendencies

Some people are just aggressive individuals. They may scream and aggression may escalate into physical violence. It's rare to see a fight that doesn't start with a raised voice, shouting or yelling. If someone you don't know very well is yelling at you, you should be careful because yelling could lead to a physical confrontation.

It is important to avoid reacting aggressively to aggressive hecklers, because this is like adding fuel to the fire of their anger and everything can escalate into a fight. Most likely this will happen if they have such tendencies and you shout back at them.

Learned behavior

Some people become loudmouths because they grew up in an environment where they were born yelling regularly. They learned that when a controversial issue is raised, a voice is raised. They have not learned the correct behavior when faced with conflicts or difficult situations. Screaming has always been their usual reaction to situations in which they feel anxious.

Feeling Useless

Some people raise their voices and shout because they feel like the other person is not listening to them. They may even have already repeated the sentence several times, and eventually they resort to yelling because the other person doesn't respond to a different tone. This often happens when parents shout at their children. Parents feel that their children are not listening to them, so instead of repeating the same things over and over again, they yell at their children. The problem is that it actually scares children. Yelling is also very harmful to children and research shows that it is as harmful as physical abuse.

What reactions should you avoid with a screamer?

The worst possible reaction to yelling is to yell back. Nothing will go your way if you are yelling at someone who is yelling at you. There are other reactions that can make the situation worse that should be avoided. These include: egging on the heckler, questioning what they say, defending yourself, and criticizing the person during the confrontation.

There are better ways to deal with a heckler. Below are steps you should use to cope with and hopefully calm the screamer.

1. Stay calm and don't increase their anger. Remember that when a person screams, the problem is not with you, but with them. They do not know how to cope with difficulties or they have another reason for screaming that has nothing to do with you. If you react, they will react to your reaction and the situation will continue to get worse. Stay calm even if you're seething inside. It's not worth feeding their shouting as the situation will only get worse and problems are rarely solved when two sides shout at each other. Problems are much more likely to be resolved in a calm tone. Be part of the solution, not the problem, by remaining calm and using a calm tone.
2. Take a mental step back to assess the situation. Before you take any action in a situation, mentally pause to evaluate what is happening. This will let you know whether to wait until the screamer calms down or just walk away. If an ordinary acquaintance is yelling at you and you don’t care whether he will be offended if you leave, then definitely leave. You don't have to tolerate disrespect if those people aren't important in your life. If your boss is yelling at you, and you know that if you leave when he says it could cost you your job, then it might be worth waiting it out and talking to your boss about the yelling later if it happens all the time and is now interfering with your ability to work effectively.
3. Disagree with the screamer to calm them down, because this will provoke screaming in the future. If you agree with the shouter and accordingly agree to do or say something they ask, you approve of their shouting. Agreeing with someone who is yelling at you only encourages them to yell at you to get what they want in the future. Avoid this type of reassurance because it will come back to haunt you in the future and you will get yelled at more often.
4. React calmly to the scream. Most of the time, when someone yells at you, your emotions are awakened and you feel the need to react. Reacting with yelling, criticism, or other negative behavior will make the situation worse, you need to do everything in your power to control your thoughts and emotions so that you can deal with the real problem, which is their yelling. Let the person know that you will not tolerate yelling, regardless of the situation or problem. Say it politely and calmly, and you'll likely get a positive response in return, such as an apology, or they'll at least realize they're yelling. Some people don't even realize that they are shouting. Then your next step is to ask this person for a break.
5. Ask this person for a break. Once you have dealt with the yelling calmly, the next step is to ask the person to leave you so you can think. You may also need time to calm down because their screaming has sent your adrenaline levels through the roof and you don't know how much longer you can hold it in. When you ask someone for a break, it should be more of a statement than a question, especially if it's not your boss. If it's your partner, friend, or anyone else, then it's completely acceptable to say that you need a break and time (a few minutes, a day, or whatever YOU need) to think things through and respond appropriately and calmly.
6. When you feel that your emotions have calmed down and you know how to deal with what you were yelling about, you can go back to talk to that person. Give yourself time to process the situation, what was said, and how you want to respond. For some situations, such as relationships, this may take several days because emotions take longer to calm down. If it's your boss and you know you can't wait too long because there's a deadline and your job is on the line, then use calming techniques like deep breathing or visualization techniques to help you think about the situation quickly so you can get back to it as soon as possible. earlier.

Move on on better terms

Because you took the time to let the person know that yelling is not acceptable and asked that person for a break immediately after yelling, it is less likely that that person will now yell at you. If they want to continue the conversation, they will need to remain calm in order to discuss the desired topic with you. Not only are you protecting yourself and showing that person that you will not allow yourself to be treated this way, but you are also helping them understand that their behavior is unacceptable. If more people did this when they get yelled at, we'd all have a better chance of avoiding yelling.

If the yelling has become a habit and your new actions have not changed their behavior, then it may be time to ask them to sit down and discuss their yelling. When you speak, let the person know how yelling affects you. For example, you feel very sad after yelling and you don't want to be around that person for a while. Also let them know how this affects your relationship. For example, that it creates an emotional gap between you. If they respond that “I am who I am,” let them know that this is not acceptable.

Some people also don't know how to change their behavior. Professional help (such as therapy, counseling, or anger management courses) is available for people who have problems with yelling. They need to realize that the problem is affecting their relationship and changes are needed to heal the relationship.

Yelling is destructive, so don't let them continue to destroy you or your relationship by enduring the yelling.

After he finds him, he starts shouting “The apartment is polluted, I can’t breathe, etc.” all this through obscenities, then he voluntarily switches to another topic and shouts.

Every day he washes something, cleans it, when his things hang on the balcony and someone tries to hang their things, he constantly hangs other people’s things, moving them away from his own and says: “They hung theirs next to my things,” then there is a conflict beginning to develop.

You can give many such examples, in most cases they are related to cleanliness.

And this happens absolutely every day.

I also noticed that when he screams his face turns red and saliva is visible.

He openly shouts only at his mother, tries to be civilized in society, and begins to talk to strangers in a squeaky, submissive, quiet voice. What characterizes his scream in the house is that he screams at full volume, and can be heard even across several yards. He doesn’t react to the remark that you’re disturbing the neighbors and starts screaming in more pain.

I think he is mentally ill.

What do you think about his mental state?

A person screams when he is not happy with himself.

Why do people scream? Well, of course, from pain, in a situation of danger. Sometimes out of delight and joy... But that’s not what I’m talking about. Why do people yell at their children, wives, husbands, parents, subordinates, colleagues, passengers and drivers, sellers and customers, and so on, on and on. It seems that the answer is obvious: everyone screams for their own reasons, of which there can be an insane variety. But still, what are these reasons that force us to offend loved ones and not so close people, to “lose face”, lashing out at colleagues or complete strangers?

A person screams when he is dissatisfied with himself

Many years ago I read the phrase: “A person screams when he is dissatisfied with himself.” The phrase stuck in my brain and radically changed my attitude towards screaming as such. If you look at it, what can make you scream, for example, at a child? Lessons unlearned? Unwashed dishes? Incorrect communication with adults or disobedience?

But excuse me, weren’t you the one who raised this child from the first days of his life?! You, precisely you, did not teach him diligence, understanding, hard work, did not instill politeness and respect in the child. Genetics? Well, excuse me, then either you yourself carry these shortcomings and therefore there is nothing to be surprised at, or, again, you chose the child’s parents (father or mother) as a carrier of vicious genes... What does the child have to do with it?

Or, let's take subordinates for example. Failed to prepare a report, can’t cope with the assigned work, is he being insolent? Dumb, lazy, liar? Wait a minute, weren't you the one who hired him? This means that either you failed to adequately assess the employee’s competencies when hiring him, or, which, in my opinion, is worse, you were afraid to hire a competent employee because of your unwillingness to adequately pay competent work or for fear of being scammed... So what now “come out with foam”? It is much more honest to admit your mistake and fire, or, on the contrary, if the situation is not hopeless, to help, teach, educate.

Don't you like your colleagues, work, boss? Excuse me, weren't you the one who chose this job? And also a supermarket for making purchases, a foreman for renovating your own apartment... Most likely, you bought the kitten that peed in your shoes yourself, you don’t find the time to raise it, and, by the way, you didn’t hide the shoes yourself... Yes, in general- then, most likely, it wasn’t your neighbors who chose your soul mate...

Realizing the above, I have been trying not to scream for several years now. It would be untrue to say that it always works out, but every time the phrase “a person screams when he is dissatisfied with himself” flashes in my brain, and I understand the uselessness and incorrectness of such behavior. Sometimes I feel ashamed of my behavior, sometimes I scold myself for lack of restraint and “loss of face,” but time after time I am convinced that screaming is an admission of my own weakness and mistakes.

Can I give you any advice? I think I can, but it’s your right to take my advice or not. If you are being shouted at, try to understand why in this case this is happening, what exactly makes the screamer raise his voice here and now, in relation to you or your loved ones. Don't be angry, don't be offended, don't shout back. Your opponent is overwhelmed with emotions, perhaps he does not even understand that in 99% of cases it is only his fault that now he needs to “let off steam” in this way. Not answering a cry is not weakness, but strength. I can’t imagine a smart, strong and confident person screaming. Be wiser.

And yet – shout! Shout with joy and wild delight. Scream as you sled down a snow-covered mountain, scream from the cold spray as you run into the not-yet-warmed-up sea. Scream as you cross the threshold of a mountain river, scream as you descend by parachute. Shout with joy when you meet friends whom you haven’t seen for a long time for various reasons. Scream from the tickling caused by the rough tongue of a puppy that is madly happy with you. Scream with happiness when you hear your baby's first word. Women - scream during childbirth, men - scream under the windows of maternity hospitals. Shout for love!

Live in harmony with yourself and be happy.

I’m embarrassed to ask: why do people cry, and when are tears a sign of illness?

Sometimes people find it difficult to give the correct answer to simple everyday questions. To prevent you from getting into an awkward situation and harming yourself, we explain the nature of the phenomena that surround us every day. This time we'll talk about why people cry and when tears become a sign of illness.

Where do tears come from?

There are two types of tears - physiological (reflex) and emotional. If without emotional tears a person can, at the very least, stretch out the conscious part of his life, physiological ones are necessary for him to preserve his vision. They moisten and clean the surface of the eye, nourish the cornea and have a bactericidal effect. A lack of tear fluid leads to dry eye syndrome and decreased visual acuity. It may also be a sign of a number of diseases: Sjogren's syndrome, hormonal and neurological disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, Wegener's granulomatosis, autoimmune diseases, sarcoidosis or tumors.

The lacrimal glands are located in the lacrimal fossa - a special depression in the frontal bone. Their secretion is almost 99% water. Another 1.5% comes from sodium chloride (salt), albumin and other proteins, which, although few in number, play an outstanding role: retinol, for example, protects the cornea from viral and bacterial infections, and growth factors and endothelin-1 help it recover from injuries.

Normally, the human lacrimal glands produce from 0.5 to 1 ml of fluid per day. Through the excretory canaliculi, it enters the conjunctival sac and is transferred to the cornea when you blink; From there, tears go into the lacrimal ducts, the nasolacrimal duct and the lower nasal passage, which is why we get a “runny nose” when we cry.

Why do emotions make us cry?

There is no need to be shy about emotional tears: it is crying that makes us human. Other animals only need tear ducts to cleanse and protect their eyes, but humans are the only species that can cry for emotional reasons. And scientists aren't quite sure why yet.

One theory is that tears are a means of communication. Before they learn to speak, babies cry to get attention. They start by screaming without tears, and learn to cry at 3-4 months. Evolutionary psychologists say babies' tears convey their need for parental care and are a distress signal. But what about adults who are able to solve their problems themselves?

Scientists suggest that in adults, crying may be an example of conspecific communication - a way of alerting members of our species without attracting the attention of predators. Since wolves and tigers generally don't roam the streets in the 21st century, tears can act as relationship glue and a nonverbal call for communication.

Tears are the “glue” for relationships and a nonverbal call for communication.

In 2000, social science professor Ed Vingerhoets (Tilburg University, the Netherlands) conducted a broad review of research on human tears and found that adults preferred to cry either alone or with one loved one. Reasons for crying were more often related to rejections and breakups than to pain and trauma. Many cried because they felt lonely, depressed or powerless. His findings slightly contradict the communication theory of crying, but support another, no less popular one.

Jay Efran, a professor of psychology at Temple University (USA), noticed that adults rarely cry at the peak of a stressful event, when they most need help. Instead, they release their emotions after the tension subsides. For example, a parent loses a child in a huge supermarket, spends several stressful minutes searching for him, and bursts into tears only after finding the baby. Efran proposed a "two-stage theory of tears," in which crying is the body's response to the rapid emotional "shift" that occurs after the end of a stressful episode.

Early in life, crying indicates that the body is tense and overloaded. For the caregiver, this is a signal that the child needs help. But in adults, tears don't so much signal a problem as they trigger the rehabilitation and recovery system, says Efran.

Associated symptoms:

What are the benefits of emotional tears?

In 2008, researchers from the University of South Florida (USA) found that people feel better after crying - especially if others provided them with emotional support. Participants in the experiment reported a feeling of catharsis that came after sobbing: their own fears and desires became clear, and problems no longer seemed insoluble. Those who consciously tried to hold back tears were less fortunate: they were less likely to experience catharsis.

After crying, your own fears and desires become clear, and problems no longer seem insoluble.

Chemists analyzing the composition of emotional tears have found the reason for their healing power. Tears of this type contain several hormone proteins that carry information signals. For example, prolactin, which is responsible for the production of breast milk in women and reproductive health in both sexes, and the neurotransmitter leucine-enkephalin, a natural pain reliever that is released when the body is under stress.

When are tears abnormal?

Tears become a problem when you can’t stop them on your own. If you are in a normal emotional state, and increased lacrimation occurs involuntarily, make an appointment with an ophthalmologist. Increased secretion of tear fluid can be a symptom of allergies, corneal trauma, conjunctivitis, keratitis, blepharitis, inflammation of the lacrimal gland, autoimmune diseases, hypo- and vitamin deficiency, sinusitis, rhinitis and other pathological conditions.

Psychological problems, a sign of which sometimes becomes tearfulness, are best addressed by a psychotherapist, endocrinologist and neurologist. It's normal to cry when you're sad, but if it happens too often, you should rule out the risk of depression, hormonal imbalances, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety neurosis, chronic fatigue syndrome, asthenia and other diseases that affect mood.

Why does a person scream?

Human behavior is in most cases a manifestation of his emotional state, unconscious fears and desires, and complexes. And if a person is unable to cope with his inner experiences, then his behavior can easily become not particularly pleasant for others. One of the negative manifestations of a psychological state is screaming.

Why does a person scream: main reasons

• Those who cannot convey their thoughts or prove that they are right in other ways resort to shouting and rudeness in a conversation or argument. This is often characteristic of people who are not very smart, as well as those who deep down admit that they are wrong, but still strive in some way to get what they want.
• To show “who’s boss”, that is, to achieve recognition of one’s authority and power.
• They shout in order to take out their anger, bitterness, resentment, envy and other negative emotions on others. That is, to make another person feel bad, as if taking revenge on him for his own misfortune (even if the person is not at all to blame for this).
• People who are accustomed to this kind of communication often raise their voices and are rude. Perhaps this is how they communicated in their family. Or perhaps the person was given little attention in childhood, and he got used to attracting him to himself through shouting, impudent antics, and rudeness.

As you can see, regardless of the reason for the scream, we are dealing with a person who clearly has something wrong in his life. Understanding this, you may be able to tolerate this kind of rudeness more easily and not perceive it as a personal insult. After all, a cry is nothing more than a manifestation of a person’s internal discomfort.

Also read other articles on similar topics:

How to calm down a person who immediately screams?

Is there any effective way against those who, if something doesn’t go according to their script, immediately shout?

The reasons for such “noisy” behavior can be different. Perhaps it’s worth delving into them a little? Watch the "screamer".

There are people with weak nervous systems. This requires medication correction. At least there are more vitamins of their group "B". People with thyroid diseases also give out “concerts” with screams, tears, often inadequate. The reasons listed do not refer to manifestations of bad character. Many women on PMS days, when hormonal levels change, scream as much as the days in their PMS. If your “screamer” demonstrates all this, then only medical help - because such behavior is symptoms. And the “screamer” also suffers from this.

But if it’s a matter of upbringing, traditions, or simply a matter of voice (there are people who SAY THIS, but those around them have blocked ears - it all depends on WHAT he or she is shouting to you) these situations can also be corrected: try the following technique

• if a person shouts at you in a dialogue, speak AS QUIETLY AS POSSIBLE - this will force you to listen and restructure your perception to a different, “quiet” wave;
• if he screams just like that, releasing anger, come close and shout even louder, but something positive. For example, an apology. if you really did something wrong.)))) good luck.

As a rule, these are people, energy vampires. They enjoy it when they shout, command, and become hysterical. Maybe they don’t even think about their abnormal behavior. Maybe they think that this is how they should behave. It’s worth trying to transfer this vampirism onto themselves .If this is outright aggression, then in response you need to smile, talk calmly, maybe even in response to swearing, feel sorry for them with words. Then their energy, which simply splashes out of them, will return to them. They will feel not satisfaction from communicating with you, but on the contrary, emptiness, displeasure. After all, they didn’t succeed in what they wanted - to offend or hurt you.

If this happens to relatives who are dear to you, then it won’t stop them from saying that their screaming and pressure on you is driving you to a nervous illness. Those who care about you will pay attention to their behavior and will try not to go beyond normal communication.

If you can’t come to an agreement with the loudmouth calmly, try to mentally protect yourself from his negative energy, imagine yourself in an invisible shell from which his insults bounce off. This is a psychological trick that helps not to take insults to heart, not to pay attention to them.

How to React When Someone Yells at You in Anger

At least once in your life you've probably had to raise your voice when angry, but some people are capable of shouting all the time and for any reason, which in no way contributes to productive communication. This is a completely unconstructive way to deal with a difficult situation. When someone yells at you constantly, it can even be a form of emotional tyranny. The goal of the yeller is to gain control of the situation, and yelling is an opportunity to gain control over you and a form of intimidation. In fact, it breaks healthy communication and normal relationships.

There are a lot of reasons for shouting, although they are unlikely to be compelling and justified. The main thing is how you react to this cry. It is important to understand that it most often indicates problems in the psyche of the screaming person and has nothing to do with you. Screaming is a reflection of emotional instability, although a person thinks that this is how he shows strength and dominance in the situation. What can provoke it?

● Inability to cope with the situation

Many people see yelling as a problem-solving option in difficult situations. But this mechanism does not have any long-term results. It is best for a screaming person to learn to regulate their emotions.

● Loss of control

A person may scream when he feels a loss of control over a situation because he is overwhelmed by a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions. There are too many of them, and therefore a person needs to regain lost control. Screaming solves this problem only temporarily.

● Feeling threatened

Those who like to scream are usually people with a very sensitive emotional psyche, and screaming is one of the tools that they actively use any time they feel a real or just a hypothetical threat or danger.

● Tendency to aggression

Some people are just aggressive. Their aggression after screaming can even escalate into a physical clash. If someone is yelling at you, be wary, especially if you don't know the person very well.

● Habitual behavioral pattern

People may scream constantly because they grew up in an environment where their parents screamed constantly. They simply do not know any other model of behavior when faced with conflicts and difficult situations.

● Feeling ignored and unheard

People raise their voices when they feel that the other person is not listening to them. This causes outrage, then anger, and then it all turns into screaming. This happens during the educational process. Parents see that their children are not listening to them and start screaming.

How to react correctly to a screaming person?

The worst possible reaction is to shout back, and then the situation escalates. You need to behave in such a way as to calm the person down or leave the situation yourself.

1. Behave with restraint and do not “feed” the anger of the screamer. Remember that when a person screams, it is he who has the problem, not you. Talk calmly, even if you are seething inside.

2. Take a step back to assess the situation. This will allow you to figure out whether it is worth quieting the shouter or leaving unproductive communication.

3. Do not follow the lead of the shouter, as this will only stimulate him. If you agree to his demands and conditions, then you are condoning his cries. This motivates the person to scream again and again to get what they want.

4. React calmly to shouting. Speak politely and confidently, and at least make the person aware that they are shouting, as some people can get so carried away that they don't even realize they are shouting.

5. Take a break from this person. After your calm response, ask the shouting person for a break to think things over. You also need to calm down, since his scream probably unsettled you.

6. When you feel that your emotions have subsided, you can return to the conversation. Give yourself time to process and analyze the situation, everything that was said and how you want to react to it.

Let the person know that yelling is unacceptable to you. If you want to understand what happened, you must set the condition that discussion is possible only in a calm tone. By doing this, you not only protect yourself, but also show the screaming person that you are not going to be subjected to emotional abuse and pressure.

Why do people yell

Why are people yelling?

Suppressing your own fear and anxiety

Self-affirmation, etc.

The habit of yelling comes from childhood

Yelling doesn't solve problems

Don't be fooled by the screams

I understand... You don’t push him away, you don’t brush him off like an obsessive, noisy fly whose buzzing is pretty boring or infuriating to you. You are trying to understand and accept what is happening to him. This is your first and main step.

But... It gives you the opportunity to express your attitude to what is happening, helps the person in distress look at the situation from a different angle, find feedback, sets you up to analyze the situation and helps you find a way out of it.

Let's... try... It's already magic. The rescue. Exit. This is what they actually expected from you, raising your voice. Here the result depends only on your wisdom, kindness and generosity of soul.

Constantly want to cry: main causes, treatment methods

From the point of view of psychologists and doctors, ordinary crying is a normal, natural phenomenon. However, everything should be in moderation. If tearfulness occurs for no reason, then this is strange. When this happens more than once, you should seek qualified help from a specialist. Sometimes tears signal serious problems or malfunctions in the body that will not go away on their own without proper medication.

Reasons for constant crying

The first thing you should pay attention to when crying uncontrollably is your emotional state. Problems with the nervous system lead to unexpected emotions, for example, when congratulating the bride, a person may start crying. Tears can be so intense that the crying resembles hysteria.

The main reason for this condition is excessive fatigue. Brain cells get used to working without interruption, which causes malfunctions in the brain. The body is exhausted, and this is indicated by constant crying. Additional symptoms of fatigue include:

• irritability
• inattention
• outbursts of anger
• uncontrolled aggression
• insomnia

It is important to go to bed on time and take time off periodically, especially for young people. It seems that youth allows you to withstand any load, but this opinion is wrong. You need to take care of yourself at any age.

The next reason is human temperament. Biologists have divided temperament into four classifications:

Temperament influences a person's perception and reaction to various life situations.

Melancholic people are depressed people who are more prone to tearfulness than others. This is further influenced by predisposition, heredity and upbringing.

The third reason is a hormonal condition, this applies more to the female population. During the menstrual cycle and menopause, women are prone to poor health, irritability, mood swings and excessive tearfulness. During menopause, the hormones for which a healthy egg was responsible cease to be produced. Now the body is preparing for aging, other hormones begin to actively enter the bloodstream, which serve as provocateurs of deep euphoria and depression.

Hormones also change during pregnancy, the body is focused on the development of the child's body. The woman becomes vulnerable, which causes tears.

The cause may be brain damage. Doctors explain tearfulness by changes in brain activity.

These are the main reasons. Only your attending physician can tell you what is happening to your body personally in your case.

Physiological reasons

Tearfulness can also be a normal condition. This is explained by human physiology. The body is eighty percent water. When there is a need for this, tearing occurs, even if this was not facilitated by a negative situation: resentment, joy, death of a loved one or pain.

The eyelids are the “curtains” of the eyes; they perform a protective function and allow the eyes to remain moist, preventing the retina and cornea from drying out.

The process occurs so quickly that a person cannot control his tears. When blinking, the eyes become covered with fluid, and eye discharge occurs in the form of drops. In medicine, this is called automatic tears.

Everyone’s physiology is different; some may experience increased tearing due to the structure of their eyelids.

Virus crying

There is such a thing as the “crying virus” or the “sadness virus.” A person is in a normal emotional state, but at the same time he may suddenly begin to cry.

Most likely, this virus is caused by a long-standing depressive and psychological shock. The reasons may be:

• long-term problems at home or at work that keep the person stressed for weeks or months
• unsettled personal life
• abnormalities in the psyche and human health
• dependence on the weather, autumn and spring often cause depression in people who are disposed to it

It is important to make changes in life: change jobs, go to another city to a resort, take up your favorite sport. The main goal is to fill everyday life with joyful, new events.

How to control your emotions

To normalize your emotional state, you need to take the following actions:

1. Learn to control emotions.
2. Drink the right amount of water (one and a half to two liters per day).
3. In stressful situations, it is recommended to take a few deep breaths, this helps to calm down.
4. Walking in the fresh air has a positive effect on a person’s psychological state.
5. Delicious food, viewing photos, and chatting with friends can improve your mood.

Tips for self-control and calm:

• relax all muscles
• sleep well
• switch your thinking to something good, don’t think about the problem
• watch your favorite movie or listen to soothing music

The brain is designed in such a way that at the first attempts at self-control, it will instantly react, and the flow of thoughts will be directed towards positive emotions.

If you are deeply depressed, you should consult a psychoanalyst or psychologist. There is no need to be shy and try to continue the fight on your own. Long-term depression can lead to big problems, some commit suicide, believing that this is the only way to solve problems.

In addition to a psychologist, a neurologist or neurologist can help. To determine the cause, he will recommend certain tests, and only then will he prescribe effective treatment.

Treatment methods for tearfulness

Treatment with medications is only possible as a last resort, when other methods have not had a positive effect. Only a doctor can prescribe medication; before doing this, he must assess the general condition of the patient.

An easy treatment complex includes taking vitamins that are directly involved in brain activity. Vitamins will never do any harm, the main thing is not to overdo it with the dosage.

You can take sedatives and medications that affect the central nervous system. Mild sedatives include decoctions of chamomile, motherwort, lemon balm and valerian. Do not take these remedies for more than a week. If there is no result, it is important to tell your doctor about it in order to change treatment.

In case of hormonal imbalance, a woman’s diet should focus on fresh vegetables. Consume foods with high concentrations of vitamin B (the entire group), E, ​​A and ascorbic acid. To strengthen the nervous system, you need to spend enough time in the sun and relax at the sea in the summer.

So, uncontrolled tearfulness can be explained both by human physiology and by his emotional, hormonal, pathological and genetic state. If the problem persists for a long time and does not go away on its own, you need to undergo drug treatment. The doctor will select medications individually, taking into account the person’s condition. You can independently learn to control your emotions if you rest on time, eat right and do what you love. Consultation with a neurologist and psychotherapist is necessary in case of deep emotional breakdown or depression.

How to get rid of irritability: treatment and causes of increased irritability

What is irritability?

We all tend to become irritable from time to time. And no wonder, because every day we are haunted by stress, troubles at work, problems with family. Yes, and sometimes we feel, frankly, unimportant. But it’s one thing when a person gets nervous and calms down, and another when, at the slightest provocation, he loses his temper, screams and snaps at those around him, and finds fault with little things.

They usually say about such people: “difficult character.” These people are irritated by literally everything: bad weather, minor traffic problems, gentle reproaches from their wife (husband), innocent pranks of a child. But why do people react differently to similar situations, why do some have self-control and restraint, while others give free rein to their nerves? What is irritability?

Irritability is largely determined by the type of human nervous system. It can be congenital, hereditarily determined by a character trait, or a consequence of adverse influences and certain environmental conditions, such as:

• severe stress;
• responsible work;
• an impossible task;
• constant lack of time.

The most surprising thing is that a person does not know why he loses control over himself. Subsequently, he may regret his words spoken in the heat of anger, and some rash actions. Often irritable people are aggressive, which makes others wary of them. But aggressiveness is already an alarming symptom, since many mental disorders manifest themselves this way.

If your irritability is just temporary, chances are your thick skin has suddenly worn down and you're starting to notice things that previously left you cold. A sudden car malfunction causes a flash of rage, and to some critical remark of your colleagues, made with the best intentions, you respond with a tirade that they then remember for a long time.

Causes of irritability

It is interesting that in schizophrenia, irritability and aggressiveness are directed only at the patient’s close people.

A special form of irritability is observed with premenstrual syndrome - 2-3 days before menstruation, a woman becomes nervous, suspicious, restless, and does not tolerate the slightest discomfort.

Diseases of the thyroid gland with increased function are accompanied by:

• severe irritability;
• impulsiveness;
• significant weight loss;
• feeling of rapid heartbeat.

Irritability can be a symptom of the following diseases:

Treatment of irritability

Which doctor should I contact?

Irritability greatly spoils the quality of life of a person and his loved ones. Constant nervous tension can cause problems at work and in your personal life.

The following specialists will help you cope with increased irritability:

Folk remedies for irritability

How to get rid of irritability?

If you feel yourself becoming more irritable, take some time to think about why.

Determining the cause will help you understand the temporary nature of irritability. You must understand that you just need to be more patient and considerate of others. This will keep you from saying or doing things that you might regret later. If you know in advance that you will become overly irritable two days before your period every month, it will be easier for you to control your emotions.

No need to hide your feelings

Instead of hiding them, just let people know that you are angry on certain days. People feel worse if they do not admit their experiences to others. If you do not explain to others that you have increased irritability, they will perceive your behavior with complete bewilderment.

But if you tell them, “I want to warn you that I might do something wrong today. If I seem too rude to you, please forgive me,” this will help people understand your actions and defuse the situation,

Try to take your mind off the things that irritate you by switching to another activity.

There is an old saying that says: “A man who is busy doing business does not harm others.” Some people just need to find something to do. Go for a walk, do the laundry, write a letter to someone, water the lawn.

You need to do something to reduce stress and kill time. This will only take you 15 minutes or an hour, depending on how quickly you calm down. This way you can prevent impulsive actions.

You must make sure that your thoughts and actions are under your conscious control

If any of the above apply to you, you are likely unprepared to handle a difficult situation intelligently. If you have to confront someone at this point, you are likely to cause more controversy or complicate the situation than you can resolve.

Learn to restrain yourself

When someone annoys you and you feel ready to explode if you engage in conversation at that moment, wait a while. Postpone discussing this issue until you feel you can do so in a calm manner.

Set yourself in a positive mood

When you notice that dark thoughts like, “It looks like today is going to be a terrible day for me,” come into your head, try to replace them with positive thoughts.

When you wake up in a bad mood, close your eyes for a minute and try to imagine a different picture of how calmly and wonderfully you will spend that day.

Have positive conversations with yourself. Ask yourself: “I would like to know what good things await me today?”, “I wonder what new things I have to learn today?”

Repeat phrases with words such as “achieve”, “succeed” more often so that they are imprinted in your head and help you overcome irritability.

Irritability in women

However, only a doctor can determine the cause of increased irritability after examining the patient. The problem may be associated with both the nervous system and diseases of some internal organs.

Causes

In addition, constant hormonal changes associated with the menstrual cycle significantly affect mood changes. Experts also identify pathological causes of irritability in women:

• ovarian diseases;
• drug addiction;
• thyroid diseases;
• mental illnesses (neuroses, schizophrenia and others).

A nervous person is characterized by repetitive movements. A woman may continuously walk around the room, swing her leg, or tap her fingers on the table. Such actions help relieve emotional stress.

Irritability and aggression quite often indicate psychological fatigue, severe stress or anxiety. Such manifestations are considered quite normal and disappear after the conflict or problem is resolved.

A woman cannot independently determine the cause of irritability and aggressiveness. Only a qualified doctor can cope with this after a comprehensive examination of the patient. Diagnostics will help you understand what exactly caused the problem.

Treatment

The following treatment methods will help cope with irritability in women:

If the problem is caused by a disease, then therapy will be aimed at treating the root cause. For example, for depression, antidepressants, tranquilizers, and homeopathic anti-stress medications are prescribed. Particular attention is paid to normalizing sleep and diet.

In addition to drug therapy, various modern psychotherapeutic techniques are also used. Auto-training, breathing practices and other ways to combat irritability help the body cope with difficult stressful situations.

Hormonal disorders in women that affect behavior are also treated with medications. If the problem is related to malfunctions of the thyroid gland, then surgery may be prescribed. Removing the node or affected part of this organ will help cope with irritability and aggression.

Irritability in men

Male irritability syndrome is the result of stress, lack of sleep, and fear of aging. In addition, men after 40 years of age are subject to testosterone fluctuations. The following symptoms appear:

• drowsiness;
• prostration;
• pre-morbid state;
• irritability;
• changes in mood;
• sexual activity or passivity.

When testosterone surges, a man behaves like a woman in PMS, sometimes even worse. Boys are taught from childhood not to cry, and they get used to restraining their emotions. But hormones will change even the most brutal man. Increased emotionality and a tendency to sort things out are not only a female priority. The insidious testosterone turns a strong man into a weak and vulnerable creature.

At first glance, this problem can be solved quite easily - with testosterone injections. But this is a rather expensive pleasure that not everyone can afford, and besides, these injections can only be prescribed by a doctor. But again, not everyone can inject testosterone, since the injection can provoke hypertension or a heart attack.

During SMR, men need patient, attentive treatment from loved ones. Their diet should contain a sufficient amount of protein dishes - meat, fish. You definitely need good sleep (at least 7-8 hours a day). Moderate physical activity is beneficial.

In some cases, irritability and aggression are treated with medications, but only as prescribed by a doctor. In addition, traditional medicine methods are often used to combat irritability. Medicinal herbs in the form of tinctures and decoctions (valerian, borage, motherwort, coriander), as well as in the form of medicinal baths, are very helpful.

Questions and answers on the topic “Irritability”

Question: Hello! I am 28 years old. I have two children. The problem is that lately I have become very irritable and nervous. I love my children very much. If earlier I reacted calmly to the pranks and whims of a child, now it drives me crazy. As a result, I might break down and scream. As soon as I calm down, I begin to regret my actions. I don't want to cause pain to my family and friends. I want to be a normal, adequate mother for my children.

Question: Hello. At work we are overloaded with work, my partner is on sick leave and I alone do all the work for two. I get terribly tired, I come home and collapse from fatigue, I don’t want to do anything at home. Tell me what to do, how to cope with this condition. Maybe take some medications?

Question: Hello. Please help, I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m terribly irritable and psychotic, I became like this after giving birth, the baby is already six months old, I should calm down already. I constantly snap at my husband over every little thing, because I know what I’m doing is wrong, but no, I can’t control myself. Every day I tell myself that I’ll stop being hysterical and no, it doesn’t work out - as soon as my husband comes home from work I start clinging to every little thing. What should I do? Please help, give advice.

Question: Good afternoon, tell me what can help me, if this is possible. I am 34 years old. The problem is that I am often irritated for some reason, this causes aggression or anger, I can express myself in bad words, and I catch myself that this is not right, but I continue to “hurt” my family. Is this a clinic or is it still possible to get rid of it?

Question: Hello, my son is 9 years old, he is very active, but does not restrain himself, when the teacher reprimands him in class, he starts banging his head on the desk or bursts into tears, and can curse at a high school student.

Question: I am a very emotional person. Lately I have become very irritable and psychotic. Any little thing can make you mad. She herself was already exhausted, and she tortured her husband. We separated several times. I'm losing a lot of weight due to nervousness. What to do?

Question: Hello! I have a problem, for about 3 months now I have lost the desire to work, to be happy about anything, to relax... Although if you look at everything, I like my job... I don’t care about anything anymore, neither with my relatives, nor with me, nor with friends, absolutely indifferent... I noticed that everything irritates me very quickly, it really infuriates me... (be it a regular telephone conversation, or a conversation with friends). I don’t even know what to do... please help!

Question: Please tell me, during an illness with acute bronchitis, can irritability, panic, and anxiety increase? I just heard a version that in case of acute bronchitis or any lung disease, the body does not receive enough oxygen in the amount it is used to or it receives it but with great effort. Subconsciously, this is perceived as suffocation, which is why anxiety, panic, and irritability arise. Tell me, is this true?

Man constantly screams sickness

When we are told that someone is depressed, we imagine a person in a bad mood who sees the world around him in black terms. Indeed, with depression a person loses interest in life and work. He feels that longing and sadness are squeezing his chest and he constantly wants to cry. Today, depression is one of the most common women's diseases.

Unfortunately, those around a woman with depression do not always treat her with understanding. They often accept this disease as a manifestation of laziness, selfishness, improper upbringing and natural pessimism. Meanwhile, depression is a disease that requires the intervention of psychotherapists and is highly treatable. The sooner treatment for depression is started, the greater the chance that the disease will not take on severe forms, accompanied by abuse of alcohol, drugs, and even the desire to commit suicide.

Remember, depression is a serious illness, not just a bad mood. If depression is not recognized in time and not slowed down, it can develop and bring suffering not only to the patient himself, but also to his loved ones. To distinguish depression from bad mood, answer the questions of the test by American psychotherapist Williams Zang.

1. How often do you feel like crying?

a) I never cry without a serious reason - 1 point; b) I cry only after quarrels - 2 points; c) I cry every time I feel sorry for myself or someone else - 3 points; d) I cry constantly, tears are very close to me - 4 points.

2. How do you sleep at night?

a) never waking up - 1 point; b) if I get very upset, I can’t sleep - 2 points;

c) I fall asleep and sleep poorly - 3 points; d) I constantly suffer from insomnia - 4 points.

3. What is your mood in the morning?

a) I always wake up in a great mood - 1 point; b) bad, only if there are problems - 2 points; c) I am rarely kind and cheerful in the morning - 3 points; d) I can’t even imagine what to be happy about in the morning - 4 points.

4. Do you feel tired?

a) no, I feel cheerful even after work - 1 point; b) I get tired only after work - 2 points; c) I often feel tired even during the day - 3 points; d) I have no strength since the morning - 4 points.

5. Do you like to do housework?

a) they bring me joy - 1 point; b) I only like to cook, but washing and cleaning irritate me - 2 points; c) I cook and clean only according to my mood - 3 points; c) all household chores irritate me - 4 points.

6. How easily do you make decisions?

a) I almost always make decisions - 1 point; b) sometimes I need someone’s advice - 2 points; c) I rarely have to make a decision - 3 points; d) why should I make decisions and take responsibility - 4 points.

7. How often do you feel sad and depressed?

a) occasionally - 1 point; b) only when I am alone (alone) - 2 points; c) often - 3 points; d) almost always - 4 points.

8. Do you consider yourself a happy person?

a) yes - 1 point; b) sometimes I am unhappy - 2 points; c) I often feel unhappy (unhappy) - 3 points; d) I don’t know what happiness is - 4 points.

9. Do you like to communicate with loved ones as before?

a) for me there is no better pleasure than communicating with loved ones - 1 point; b) only when I am in the mood - 2 points; c) often I don’t want to hear from anyone - 3 points; d) they all irritate me - 4 points.

a) excellent - 1 point; b) sometimes I don’t want to eat anything - 2 points; c) I often forget that I need to eat - 3 points; d) I always eat without pleasure - 4 points.

11. Do you consider yourself useless?

a) never - 1 point; b) only after quarrels - 2 points; c) always when I feel lonely - 3 points;

d) I am completely sure (a) of this - 4 points.

12. Are you making plans for the future?

a) there are so many plans for the future that I’m afraid I won’t have time to implement them - 1 point; b) only if I have a lot of money - 2 points; c) I live only in the present - 3 points; d) I don’t even want to think about what awaits me in the future - 4 points.

13. How often do you get irritated over trifles?

a) I don’t attach importance to the little things in life - 1 point; b) I get irritated more often than before - 2 points; c) quite often I bother my loved ones over trifles - 3 points; d) I am constantly nervous because no one understands me - 4 points.

14. How do you behave if you have trouble at work or at home?

a) calmly, looking for ways to solve the problem - 1 point; b) sometimes I take it out on others - 2 points; c) I can’t even think about anything at this time - 3 points; d) my life is turning into a real nightmare - 4 points.

15. Do you think that everyone will be happy about your death?

a) no, everyone needs me - 1 point; b) only enemies - 2 points; c) sometimes I think so - 3 points;

d) yes, no one needs me - 4 points.

16. How does your heart beat?

a) the same as before - 1 point; b) occasionally I feel an increase in heart rate - 2 points; c) the heart beats faster than usual - 3 points; d) I constantly take pills for arrhythmia - 4 points.

17. How often do you experience constipation?

a) I have no difficulty with bowel movements - 1 point; b) only in winter - 2 points; c) often - 3 points; d) constantly - 4 points.

18. Are you losing weight?

a) I lose weight only during a diet - 1 point; b) for no reason only in spring and winter - 2 points; c) I often lose weight without any diets - 3 points; d) I am underweight - 4 points.

19. How do you feel about sex?

a) love - 1 point; b) I want it according to my mood - 2 points; c) I agree so as not to offend my partner - 3 points; d) contemptuously - 4 points.

20. How often do you forget?

a) never - 1 point; b) only when I’m passionate about something - 2 points; c) yes, I often forget what is not important to me - 3 points; d) I forget everything that I don’t write down - 4 points.

up to 50 points - you are not depressed.

from 51 to 60 points - in unpleasant situations you may experience depression. You need to consult a psychotherapist.

from 61 to 70 points - you have disguised depression, you need to seek help from a psychiatrist.

71 or more points - you have real depression, which needs urgent treatment.

Human behavior is in most cases a manifestation of his emotional state, unconscious fears and desires, and complexes. And if a person is unable to cope with his inner experiences, then his behavior can easily become not particularly pleasant for others. One of the negative manifestations of a psychological state is screaming.

Why does a person scream: main reasons

• Those who cannot convey their thoughts or prove that they are right in other ways resort to shouting and rudeness in a conversation or argument. This is often characteristic of people who are not very smart, as well as those who deep down admit that they are wrong, but still strive in some way to get what they want.
• To show “who’s boss”, that is, to achieve recognition of one’s authority and power.
• They shout in order to take out their anger, bitterness, resentment, envy and other negative emotions on others. That is, to make another person feel bad, as if taking revenge on him for his own misfortune (even if the person is not at all to blame for this).
• People who are accustomed to this kind of communication often raise their voices and are rude. Perhaps this is how they communicated in their family. Or perhaps the person was given little attention in childhood, and he got used to attracting him to himself through shouting, impudent antics, and rudeness.

As you can see, regardless of the reason for the scream, we are dealing with a person who clearly has something wrong in his life. Understanding this, you may be able to tolerate this kind of rudeness more easily and not perceive it as a personal insult. After all, a cry is nothing more than a manifestation of a person’s internal discomfort.

Japanese healer Katsuzo Nishi believed that the ability to scream was given to man by nature as a protective force and a means of healing the body: this is how we get rid of negative energy that destroys us from within. I let out the negativity and deprived myself of the dubious joy of suffering later from hypertension or ulcers.

From early childhood, we easily start shouting, telling the world about our dissatisfaction. However, the sage warned: if you are beyond infancy, you should not raise your voice at others. It's like having a contagious disease and sneezing on everyone instead of being treated.

However, usually those who shout “at everyone” do not lose their temper and are known as calm people. As a rule, it goes to relatives: often only the husband or wife knows how loudly the other half can yell.

Surprisingly, psychologists unexpectedly support emotional spouses. They say that if over the course of their life together a couple has the same number of scandals (it doesn’t matter whether it’s two a year or one hundred and seven a week) and, on the whole, everyone is happy with it, the relationship can be considered harmonious. And squabbles are good for the health of the family.

Why are we screaming?

Experienced spouses understand that the partner screams not so much “at someone” as “for himself.” From fatigue or irritation accumulated during the day. If both accept the rules of the game, then the scandal develops according to the usual scenario. As a result, it gives vent to emotions and leads to discharge. Sometimes you need to allow each other to let off steam - this ultimately leads to new points of intimacy.

Expert commentary

Alexander Roitman, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, certified supervisor of the Russian Psychotherapeutic Association (RPA):

“Screaming is a very intimate expression because it reveals inner aggression. The various social masks that we inevitably use in our offices and just in public normalize our “heat” and dictate the acceptability and unacceptability of emotions. But in the family, the masks are removed, and we can allow ourselves a fairly wide range of temperatures - from tenderness to rage. The framework is different for everyone, and it is determined by the partners themselves.”

High relationship

Many admit: “When they yell at me, I don’t understand anything.” And they don't lie. In any angry tirade, of course, there is some content; almost no one manages to grasp its meaning right away. It's all about physiology: the cerebral cortex reacts to a furious, indignant cry with inhibition, and the ability to recognize the meaning of words weakens.

Expert commentary

“Unfortunately, people rarely ask for help. “What new will the psychologist tell me?” - the person says and continues to endure the partner’s emotional outbursts, finally destroying the boundaries of what is permitted in the family. And if action is not taken today, the next stop is physical violence.”

In British families, quarrels occur approximately 312 times a year, most often on Thursdays

When you want attention

Sometimes it seems that a person is doing everything on purpose to piss off his partner. “How much can I borrow before my salary!”, “Why should I eat only pasta!”, “I thought I’d at least rest at home, so what?!” All these statements do not imply logical answers and only provoke an outburst of anger. However, sometimes words are not needed, you can just deliberately slowly get ready when you are in a hurry, or snap your fingers monotonously, knowing how annoying it is to half...

Expert commentary

“There are always two levels in provocation to scream: external - behavioral and internal - the intentions or needs of the screamer. Any offensive words or irritating actions can become external, but the internal message is always the same: “Pay attention to me.” The partner broadcasts it in the way familiar from childhood. If the father or mother of the provocateur were cold people, then any manifestation of emotion, even a scream, seems to him a good result. It’s as if he is once again convinced that he is seen, noticed and that they feel something towards him.”

To make the screaming less

Help each other record the moment of boiling. Choose phrases: “Careful, we might have a fight, but we don’t want that,” “Let’s calm down, otherwise I’m also getting worked up.”

Use non-verbal ways to relieve tension: you can gently take your partner’s hand or gently place your palms on his shoulders.

Come up with a signal word for the incipient cry. It can be anything: “drum”, “cone”, “pineapple”. If you feel like you are about to burst into an angry speech, warn your husband: “Drum!”

Photo: Westend61/Gettyimages.ru, Igor Serazetdinov/Fotolia.com, K.C./Fotolia.com

We know what a cry is, because with this sound we informed the world about our birth :-). By shouting we express our joys, pleasant surprises and delights. But shouting in our lives also has a negative aspect.

Misunderstanding, unheardness, self-indulgence... And for some reason in an ordinary conversation, without noticing it, we begin to speak in a raised voice, turning it into a tough discussion, and turn to shouting. Why strain your voice, waste a lot of energy and minutes of precious time on straining your conversation?

Let's analyze a little and take a fresh look at screaming.

Why does a person scream? There may be several reasons. Basic:

• character traits (predominance of choleric type);
• education (reproduction of behavior patterns learned in childhood in the family);
• costs of the profession (for example, military);
• lack of happiness, threat to life;
• anger at one’s inferiority;
• repetition of a number of negative events, failures in life (“black streak”);
• somewhere there really is a fire or an “internal fire” :-).

What to do?

Understand that a cry is a signal for help. You need to see through the words and the volume of the voice, to understand what is happening. A person’s cry often means: “I can’t cope with the situation. Help me".

Let's look at the situation from the outside. Let's take, as an example, shouting at work.

Some managers never “grew up” - they use the primitive “dinosaur” method: “Whichever dinosaur screams loudest is the boss.” But in fact, modern management has long been telling us to practice the method “Praise in front of everyone, but talk about shortcomings (shout) only in private.” It should be understood that the manager selected his team, and if someone failed, it means that it was the manager who inadequately assessed the employee’s competence when hiring, or assigned the wrong job, or explained it incorrectly, or did not provide enough resources to complete it, and then something went wrong. But it’s still the manager’s fault. And shouting in front of everyone at a subordinate means promoting yourself at the expense of the one whom you hired and to whom you so clumsily assigned the task. But if you praise in front of everyone for the fact of an effective work result, this means, firstly, to raise self-esteem, inspire and reinforce the employee’s actions as correct, and secondly, to show everyone who heard the praise that they will notice and celebrate success in front of everyone, and this the manager recruited good specialists :-).

Everything will be decided. And in a couple of years you won’t even remember what the cry was about. You need to understand priorities and firmly believe that there is a way out. You just have to choose an adequate method to solve a specific problem.

An example from the animal world. Remember that even in the most hopeless situation there are at least three options. So the wolf is chasing the hare. It would seem that's it. No exit. But there are options. REMEMBER and look for the optimal solution in a specific situation: FORWARD-STAND BACK. Let me explain what this means. The hare will not attack the wolf (the FORWARD option is not suitable here). Therefore, the hare has more options: STAND (in this case, camouflage, hide) or BACK (i.e. run quickly and maneuverably). I hope that the example was accessible and instructive.

How to do?

• Runaway target. Try to calmly explain that you can hear well and that you have no hearing problems. If there is a lot of screaming and your nerves begin to fray, say that you are in a hurry (to a pharmacy, store, meeting), and offer to state the essence of the problem on paper, in an email.
• Elephant or bucket. To restrain your great desire to also start screaming, try silently replacing negative thoughts with positive visual images. Imagine that the screaming one has a pink elephant’s trunk instead of a nose, and that a bucket of glitter or something else is spilling over it. But don't get too fancy. If you introduced yourself and became calmer, let the shouter finish his speech, now think about solving the situation that was discussed in the conversation. If you fantasize a lot and laugh, the interlocutor will be forced to stop, but if you remain silent for a long time, the interlocutor will begin to find out why you are mocking him. And here it is important to say: “I was thinking about options for solving our problem. Tell me, can we solve everything calmly?”
• Start barking– a non-standard approach for non-work conversations. When asked why you barked, answer : “I so want to calmly solve everything that I couldn’t find human words for an answer in such noise. Let's move forward to human ways of solving the current situation. So, what do you propose as a solution?
• Speak in a whisper. Most often, the screamer simply does not hear you, because his personal scream blocks his auditory canals. And if you respond to a scream with a scream, then he may start screaming even louder or use force. Take a break, as soon as the interlocutor calms down a little, start speaking in a calm tone and almost whispering: “I got it, let’s calm down and think about how we can successfully solve this problem.”
• The marine figure freezes in place. Stop nodding your head and be silent, look away to the left, look into the eyes again and look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. A nod of the head is a primitive answer: “Yes. Yes, continue". But the absence of head movements and a 15-second freezing of the body forces the screamer to slow down the pace of speech and calm down, an unconscious thought flashes through the brain: “Why is there no previous reaction to my scream? What's happened?". In this situation, the screamer very quickly begins to get tired of tearing his throat in complete silence, and he calms down.

Remember the phrase: “A person screams when he is dissatisfied with himself.” Everything that happens in your life, directly or indirectly, is related to your thoughts, actions or inactions.

Below is an interesting and instructive parable. You will like it and you will draw the right conclusions :-).

Love does not need a voice; love is accompanied by silence. The one who wants to prove to another what the other strongly doubts needs a voice. Shouting becomes an additional argument, although it never has any force, even if you shout very hard.

Once the Teacher asked his students: “Why, when people quarrel, do they shout?”

“Because they lose their calm,” said one.

“But why shout if the other person is next to you? – asked the Teacher. – Can’t you talk to him quietly? Why shout if you're angry?

The students offered their answers, but none of them satisfied the Teacher. After all, he explained, “When people are dissatisfied with each other and quarrel, their hearts grow distant. In order to cover this distance and hear each other, they have to shout. The angrier they get, the louder they scream.

What happens when people fall in love? They do not shout, on the contrary, they speak quietly. Because their hearts are very close and the distance between them is very small. And when they fall in love even more, what happens? They don’t speak, but only whisper, and become even closer in their love. In the end, even whispering becomes unnecessary for them. They just look at each other and understand everything without words. This happens when two loving people are nearby.

So, when you argue, do not allow your hearts to move away from each other, do not utter words that further increase the distance between you. Because a day may come when the distance becomes so great that you will not find your way back."

You can scream... only from happiness: from good news, from a pleasant meeting with loved ones and relatives; when your child was born; when you succeeded in your plan.

We have the right to happiness, it is in our hands and we can enjoy life!

Have a good mood and a promising life!