How to determine if a man needs you? How to understand whether a man needs a woman: advice from psychologists Is there love at a distance?

Sometimes a relationship develops between a man and a woman that seems to exist, but it seems that there is almost none. They are sluggish, have little initiative, and are not at all energetic. Or, on the contrary, incendiary, but fickle, meetings from time to time, no heart-to-heart conversations, only passion.

At first, women may be satisfied with both options. They wait patiently for something to change for the better - relationships become more open, stable, and strong.

But time passes and nothing changes. And thoughts involuntarily creep in about whether such a relationship has a future, whether it is worth continuing it, or whether it is better to interrupt it now, so as not to regret later the years passed in vain.

This is where the question arises: how to understand whether a man needs you, or whether he is indifferent to you, is simply using you and is not going to build any serious relationship?

A man and a woman are two boxes in which the keys to each other are stored.
Karen Blixen

How to understand that a man does not need a girl

• The first and most telling sign is his behavior.. How often do you meet, call each other, go to the movies, restaurants together, just take a walk or watch movies together?

  If all of the above happens at least weekly, then there is most likely no reason to sound the alarm. In addition, a lot depends on the man’s employment and his work schedule. Today, 12-hour workdays and 60-hour workweeks are not uncommon.

• The second sign is his attitude towards you. Even if a person is very busy at work, but loves you and misses you, he will find a minute to write a message, send a sweet mms or order a bouquet of flowers for you.

  His desire to spend his free time (or most of it) with you is also a good sign. If a man treats all offers to meet with coolness, demands that the girl not call him first, and behaves aloof or even rude when meeting, these are alarming symptoms.

• The third sign is constant betrayal. Let there be no officially registered relationship between you yet. This does not mean at all that you should forgive him for going “to the left.”

  You shouldn’t hope that the guy will go crazy and at some point decide that he only needs you. By his behavior he already shows his attitude towards you.

Classic signs

1. He rarely calls and doesn’t respond to texts., often turns off the phone or even puts your number on the ignore list.
2. You don't go anywhere together. You don’t have mutual friends with whom you can sit in a friendly group. You do not go to visit his or your relatives. You never even go shopping together.
3. He doesn't care what happens to you. You are connected only by sex during rare meetings, and the man never asks questions about how you are doing at school or at work, how your day was, and generally tries to talk to you less.
4. The man is not jealous of you. Even if you openly provoke him to jealousy, talk on the phone with another guy in front of him, accept gifts and courtship from other men, and he knows about it, but does not react to it at all.

If you are dear to a man, then he will finally perk up and begin to take actions that will help you feel desired, loved and necessary.

The image that a man creates when thinking about an ideal woman is similar to the image that a woman creates when thinking about an ideal man.
Marlene Dietrich

How to understand that a married man needs you

But there are other symptoms. Let's talk about them below.

So, you can determine whether a man who already has a wife needs you by the following signs:

If a woman is tired of a man's advances and wants to get rid of them, it is best for her to marry her pursuer:
in this way she will most likely get rid of the gallantry that has bored her.
Martti Larni

Conclusion

If a man also understands all this, and you have a rough idea of ​​when your affair will go from being secret to being revealed, then the relationship has a future.

If a man is already satisfied with everything, and you get nothing from him except sex and empty promises, then it’s worth ending such an affair once and for all.

How did it all start?
I had a boyfriend, I dated him for a long time, for a very long time - more than four years, but over the last year of our relationship with him, I realized that I had no feelings for him at all. And I started cheating on him, at first there was one guy, then another one appeared, only not a guy, but a man, and I think I even thought that I fell in love with him, there were frequent meetings, he gave gifts, but he had a wife, I was always I was freaking out about this, what I told him about, he answered me that this is his family and he will never leave it, over time I had to come to terms with it and accept him as he is, everything developed globally! We could no longer live without each other; meetings simply blew our minds away. It was difficult to restrain ourselves in public, because in front of them we were just colleagues. This lasted almost a year. My “common-law husband” suspected me, of course, but I managed to smooth everything over, he felt that I had cooled down, and I didn’t hide it at all. I set a barrier for myself, I knew that he would never be mine and I no longer felt for him what I had before, but for him, on the contrary, he had already completely begun to overwhelm me with calls, meetings, I didn’t need it at all anymore, After all, I had already killed this feeling of attachment in myself and I became cold towards him, he was already ready to leave his wife and go to me! I told him that it was too late and I was not worth these sacrifices. . . Why did I suddenly become so cold? Yes, because another one appeared - HE! We also work together and it turned out that our communication became closer, well, we spent a lot of time together, went on a business trip to another city, had fun, laughed, nothing more. On one of these trips, he took me home, it was already late, about 3 am, my husband was not at home, he wrote an SMS asking to meet, I said that it was too late and it was time to go to bed. But I was actually very happy about his message! The next day we met in the evening, as usual we just talked, laughed, and naturally we kissed! It was great, then we met a few more times and we had sex for the first time! It was unforgettable! He really tried, everything was fine. At work we behaved as if nothing had happened. I left for the session, we didn’t see each other for two weeks, we called each other every day, upon arrival I left my husband and said that this could no longer continue, that I could no longer live in lies and betrayal. I felt sorry for him, because he loved me, and truly! Like no one else! My meetings with HIM continued, but again there was an obstacle - he has a girlfriend with whom HE has been with for more than 5 years! I met her, we began to communicate with her, she constantly told me how they quarrel, make up, etc.. I supported her, but my soul was scratched by the fact that HE was with me and with her, yes and I myself behaved no better towards her. I constantly told HIM that it was very difficult for me to share him with someone else like that, HE said that he didn’t love her, but didn’t leave her. I tried to come to terms with it, but it didn’t work. We met secretly, HE arrived late in the evening and we went out of town, then HE began to come to my home, we spent the evenings with him, watched movies, got mad and just fell asleep, early in the morning HE left me. I was tormented by the fact that his girlfriend didn’t disappear anywhere, she was as she was. New Year. I went home. He wrote, called, and I…. I was at home, I was happy and calm, I was walking and having fun, I didn’t have to make excuses to him, because HE was with her all this time. Upon arrival, I decided that these unnecessary meetings were enough. I told him that our communication with him was ending, it was hard, but I still decided. Two days passed, HE started writing, calling, saying that he couldn’t live without me. I picked up the phone, HE arrived, and again this whirlpool. Again everything is in circles. All the same. Two months have passed. For work, I was transferred to another city, I told him that I was leaving and would not come again. HE was shocked and said that he would come to me. I have left. We called each other. His girlfriend wrote to me that their relationship had completely come to naught. I was actually glad. I agreed to transfer him to my city. HE has arrived. A couple of days later, his girlfriend began to write to me about how I could live with him like this? It turns out HE didn’t tell her anything until the last minute! And when I arrived too! We started living together. Seems to be OK. But for myself, I don’t understand whether I need HIM or not. I know that now HE communicates with her again, calls her, she sometimes writes to me about this. I make scandals for him about this. In fact, I think that I feel him, or my intuition, which is so strong, tells me that HE is not sincere to me. That’s why I myself treat him with caution, because I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. Everyone around me insists that HE is not my match, and I myself understand this. But for some reason I continue to be with him and endure and forgive. . . I guess I'm afraid to be alone in a strange city. I just sat and thought, if I were at home, I wouldn’t even worry about this for a minute, and I probably would never deal with such hemorrhoids. And here. . . This is how it works. They tell me - turn around, maybe your happiness is walking somewhere nearby, and I.... I don't want to look around. I can't understand myself

During the period of falling in love, women often do not notice the dismissive and consumerist attitude, and when they take off their “rose-colored glasses,” they become disappointed. To understand whether a girl will receive deception and betrayal in exchange for sincere feelings and loyalty, she should take a close look at the behavior of her chosen one. Special methods of psychologists will help you understand whether a man needs a girl or is he just using her.

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Signs of indifference

There are a number of signs that indicate a man is not ready for a serious relationship. These include the following behavioral features:

1. 1. He sets the place and time of the meeting himself, when it is convenient for him. The partner’s girlfriend’s opinions and wishes are not of concern. The rest of the time he doesn’t pick up the phone, abruptly ends the conversation and refers to his workload. No matter how busy a man is, if he needs a person, he will always listen to his opinion.
2. 2. At any time, he can change the girl’s plans without having good reasons for this. He prefers to hold meetings in the dark on neutral territory. Men only allow themselves to treat their mistresses this way.
3. 3. The partner tells practically nothing about his life and does not introduce him to relatives, friends and colleagues. He does not want to start communicating with the environment of his new passion and her parents.
4. 4. A man is constantly dissatisfied with the girl’s behavior and expresses all his comments out loud. He may not be satisfied with the appearance, hobbies and preferences of his beloved, but he does not want to break up. The goal of a person is to lower a woman’s self-esteem.
5. 5. He can make a scandal and, without asking for forgiveness, not get in touch for several days so that the girl feels guilty.

If a man doesn't need a woman, he doesn't watch his speech. Compliments are reminiscent of a performance in a cheap theater. The partner does not need to choose words to address his interlocutor - the guy does not value her and does not consider it necessary to waste time on such “trifles”. If the girl is completely indifferent, the partner allows himself to insult her and use obscene words in his vocabulary.

When a man needs only one thing - an intimate relationship, he completely changes and surrounds the girl with feigned attention and care. You need to understand that men have a more urgent need for physical intimacy and, during periods of its lack, are ready to put on performances. If a man reacts rudely and inadequately to a refusal, then the best option for developing the relationship is to break it off.

You can check whether a man has sincere feelings by his concern. A woman only needs to find herself in a difficult situation at least once to find out why her lover stays with her. In the absence of reciprocity, the partner will not be interested in her health and will not bring medicine when she gets sick. He doesn’t care about any woman’s problems; she will solve them herself.

If a man doesn’t need a girl, he won’t use the pronoun “we” in a conversation. A person can lie, inventing various legends, thinking through all the details, but he does not consider this union as a couple that has prospects for the development of relations. A man can associate the pronoun “we” with immediate events, for example, “Are we going to the cinema tomorrow? ”, but he will not say phrases such as “When are we going to go on vacation at the seaside? ” or “When will we plan to have a baby? " He knows that the answer to these questions is “never” and sees no point in asking them.

If there is no interest in a girl, a man will not get acquainted with her hobbies, family and friends. The experiences of his “beloved” are not important to him, and all conversations are related only to what is happening at the moment. A guy can discuss a movie, but he will never ask who her favorite director or actor is. If a woman starts a conversation herself, he will listen without reacting in any way, or change the topic. In such a situation, girls begin to blame themselves, believing that they are overloading the man with their minor problems, but this is not so. The chosen one deceives and takes advantage of the woman.

How to understand that a man needs a woman?

If the chosen one needs a girl, she will feel it and the need to ask herself questions will disappear. She will be surrounded by attention and care, and no busy work schedule will become an obstacle to spending time together. A man will not behave suspiciously and secretly. Already at the beginning of the relationship, he will introduce his beloved to his parents and friends. The partner will not hide his personal life and will talk about hobbies and interests. The following signs indicate sincere feelings in a man:

1. 1. He listens to the woman's opinion. If he does not agree with the girl, then he does as she asked.
2. 2. The presence of gifts indicates that the man is trying to win his chosen one, and she has won his heart.
3. 3. He began to change for the better - he got rid of bad habits, found a well-paid job or bought a new car.
4. 4. The guy gives compliments because he notices all the little things and details of the girl’s appearance. He behaves politely and gallantly.
5. 5. A man is gentle and affectionate towards a woman.

Falling in love makes a guy jealous. To do this, he does not have to make loud scandals and constantly find out with whom the girl spends time. When a woman interacts with young people, the man will hug her and show her other signs of attention to demonstrate that she is in a couple. Some people cannot restrain their emotions in a fit of jealousy, which often leads to scandals and quarrels. This behavior is unlikely to change.

A man who values ​​a woman will not spare her money, time and mental strength. The person tries to help her when any problems arise. And he will never allow himself to offend a woman. If he did this, he will definitely ask for forgiveness. In such a relationship, the girl feels desired and can rely on her chosen one at any time.

Many people believe that a man needs time to understand whether he needs a woman, and this justifies his coldness. In fact, it is impossible to hide sincere interest, and if the feelings are mutual, the girl will definitely notice it. A woman needs a family, children and stability, and if a man does not understand this, then it is better to end such an affair immediately.

Is there love at a distance?

When, while talking on the phone, a girl wonders whether a guy really needs her, she needs to realistically assess the situation and draw the right conclusions. If the acquaintance occurred while on vacation in another country or visiting an entertainment venue, the chances of creating a real long-term relationship are very small.

Lovers may be separated by circumstances such as a business trip, study or service. If a man really needs a girl, he will not call and write less often, but will constantly share his thoughts and experiences. He will find any way to contact his beloved, at least for a minute, and will not make empty promises.

A woman needs to determine who initiates communication. If a man doesn’t write or call first, then the girl’s life doesn’t interest him. He may not respond to SMS and phone calls, constantly refer to how busy he is, and will come up with a lot of excuses to keep communication to a minimum.

How to check feelings?

If a woman doubts her partner, then it’s easy enough to check whether he has feelings. To do this, you need to take the following steps:

1. 1. Stop being interested in his life and affairs. All conversations about how the man spent his time, where he was and why he didn’t call should be excluded. If a guy has feelings for a girl, he will notice such changes and start asking counter questions.
2. 2. Change for the better. You can do a different hairstyle, buy new underwear or high-heeled shoes. He will definitely notice such changes and will begin to wonder for whose sake the woman started the transformation.
3. 3. Cause feelings of jealousy. To do this, you need to ask a work colleague or friend for a ride home. During a conversation with your loved one, casually mention this without specifying details - you need to give the man the opportunity to come up with the ending of the story himself. You can also arouse feelings of jealousy with calls and SMS that will constantly arrive on a woman’s phone.
4. 4. Imaginary pregnancy. You need to tell the guy about the pregnancy and monitor his reaction. If he was scared, then there can be no talk of any sincere feelings.

There is no need to fight for relationships that are far from ideal. You shouldn’t be content with little when you can find a loving and caring man. All people are different, and in the modern world the “consumer” attitude is becoming more common. Some women are satisfied with this state of affairs, and they are ready to spend the best years of their lives on a person who is completely indifferent. Successful and purposeful people immediately abandon such connections and create happy marriages.

After the breakup

Some girls want to get back into a relationship after breaking up with their ex-boyfriend. Before starting active actions, you should make sure that he has feelings. This can be done using the following criteria:

1. 1. Communication. If a man continues to communicate with his ex-girlfriend, she is dear to him at least as an interlocutor. If he texts and calls at least once a week, he definitely cares and needs the company of a girl.
2. 2. Meetings. After the end of a relationship, men prefer to cut off all contacts with their beloved. If a guy offers friendship and tries to see each other as often as possible, then he probably still loves the girl.
3. 3. Statuses and music. On social networks, in the period after a breakup, on the page of a former lover who still has feelings for the girl, you can notice sad statuses and music.
4. 4. Active lifestyle. Trying to forget their chosen one, many guys suddenly begin to lead an overly active lifestyle. This indicates a strong emotional shock that was caused by the breakup.
5. 5. Lifestyle. If a person led a measured lifestyle, and after separation he went into all sorts of troubles, then he worries and cares.

Before resuming a relationship with your ex-boyfriend, it is worth remembering the reasons that provoked the breakup. Mental wounds do not heal for a long time, and perhaps the ex-boyfriend will not be against the relationship, but it is worth thinking about its feasibility.

Features of the zodiac signs

To find out about the sincerity of a man’s feelings, you can consult a horoscope. Each zodiac sign has its own characteristics and shows feelings differently:

1. 1. Aries. They are impatient and do not know how to wait. They want to get everything at once and talk about their passions without hesitation. Aries persistently achieve what they want, but this in no way speaks of love. This is how they treat all the women they like. In the absence of reciprocity, they will not suffer or worry, but will find a new object. If there are serious feelings, Aries does not rush things, but tries to create an atmosphere of silence and comfort. A man will conquer his chosen one with stories about how successful and strong he is.
2. 2. Taurus. If a representative of a given person likes a woman, he will immediately let you know about it. The man will constantly call and text. Seeing his beloved on the street, he will definitely call out to her and embrace her. Taurus loves and knows how to care for women. Such a man will invite the girl to various social events, give flowers and sweets. The more money he spends on a girl, the more important she is to him, but due to his indecision, the “bouquet and candy” period may drag on.
3. 3. Gemini. They love flirting and are distinguished by their ingenuity in courtship and unpredictability. With these men, such a feeling as boredom will be unfamiliar. They love to make fun of the girl and play pranks on her. But Geminis tend to idealize their partners. After getting to know each other better, they may become disappointed in the girl and start looking for new perfection. If he has serious feelings, a man will not ridicule a person’s shortcomings and will treat weaknesses with tenderness.
4. 4. Cancer. This is a practical homebody whose priorities are family values. Before he starts dating a girl, he will find out her attitude towards home and housekeeping. The representative of this sign evaluates women by their readiness to fulfill his requirements. If a man’s feelings are serious, he, on the contrary, will fulfill all the wishes of his beloved. It is very important for Cancer to have a devoted and faithful partner who can strengthen his inner world.
5. 5. Leo This is an ambitious man who does not like to hint, but speaks directly. He immediately lets the girl know about his feelings. During the period of courtship, he prefers to go to expensive restaurants and surprise his chosen one with noble deeds, but this does not indicate the sincerity of feelings. If Leo really needs a girl, then he will stop talking about his merits and will show a keen interest in her.
6. 6. Virgo. You can rely on men of this sign in everything. They love to analyze the situation and give worthwhile advice. It is difficult to get Virgos to have a frank conversation, and they express their sympathy with hints. They will take a long time to decide whether the girl is suitable for a serious relationship. If such a man is really passionate about a woman, he will immediately propose marriage. Having heard a refusal, Virgo will continue to try to get her partner’s attention for a long time.
7. 7. Libra. These men have changeable moods and do not like quarrels and conflicts. They charge everyone around them with their optimism. Libra men like to look after a girl, and they are in no hurry to move to the next level of the relationship. These guys are afraid of responsibility and commitment. If the partner is seriously interested, he will begin to take decisive steps - he will introduce him to his parents and friends, and make an offer.
8. 8. Scorpio. Men of this sign have a special magnetism that attracts women to them. He is akin to a good psychologist who knows how to speak words that hit the target. He can surround a woman with attention and care, and his compliments cannot be forgotten, but this will in no way indicate the sincerity of his intentions. Scorpio really needs sex, and to get it, a man will do anything. If he is committed to a serious relationship, he will notify everyone that he is in a couple. Scorpio will begin to behave as if the girl completely belongs to him and will be very jealous.
9. 9. Sagittarius. Men love adventure, independence, and intimate relationships are important to them. Feelings are expressed by buying expensive gifts or going to restaurants. The chosen one must be ready for various adventures that attract Sagittarius so much. If he likes a girl and is in the mood for a serious romance, then he will try to be next to her all his free time. Sagittarius will constantly tell interesting stories, amaze you with his intelligence and erudition.
10. 10. Capricorn. This man is very distrustful of others and constantly strives to double-check everything. He falls in love hard and, afraid to show his feelings, demonstrates complete indifference to the object of his love. It is important for Capricorn to understand that he can completely trust the girl. If he has serious intentions, he will begin to consult with his partner and show other signs of loyalty.
11. 11. Aquarius. They are smart and charming, but prefer to demonstrate feelings not through actions, but through words. They like to talk a lot and give the girl compliments. It is easier for Aquarius to first make his beloved his best friend, and then move on to a more serious level of relationship.
12. 12. Pisces. These are very sensual natures that are difficult to decipher. If they fall in love, then for real. There will be violent quarrels and passionate reconciliations in the relationship. They are very touchy and, in the absence of their partner’s feelings, do not forgive and immediately leave. If Pisces has serious intentions, he will be able to forgive almost everything, but his trust should not be abused.

Women are accustomed to looking for excuses for men’s “missteps.” Don't blame yourself if your partner is cold and completely indifferent. It is better to start looking for a person who will appreciate the girl at her true worth and will not give her a reason to think about the feasibility of the union.

You and your boyfriend are in a relationship, but the question constantly arises: how seriously does he take it? How do you know if a man needs you, or is this just a game for him? Or maybe he is using you for his own selfish purposes? This is exactly what we will talk about in our article. You will learn how to understand whether he values ​​relationships, whether he is in love, or whether he only needs sex and does not see you as part of his future.

No matter how beautiful words a man may say to a woman, his actions can speak more eloquently about his attitude. It is behavior that speaks about the role a woman plays in a man’s life.

Every relationship is unique in its own way, but there are a number of signs that can help shed light on your intentions towards your partner. If you are looking for a life partner and do not want to be a temporary toy, you should think about what you mean to the man you are dating.

Here are some signs that show that a guy doesn't value the relationship at all:

• You've been dating for a long time, but he doesn't introduce you to his friends. You don’t go to crowded places together - to the skating rink, to the cinema. He also refuses to meet your friends;
• meetings occur only when it is convenient for him;
• the guy doesn’t offer to introduce you to his relatives and refuses to meet yours;
• often cancels plans to meet you at the last minute;
• frequent quarrels due to his dissatisfaction with your appearance and behavior;
• his compliments do not sound sincere, but like in a cheap theater. When speaking, he does not choose words and may use rude expressions and profanity. But it is also worth considering the fact that some men consider this the norm of behavior and rudeness is already ingrained in them;
• the amount of attention given can also be an indicator of male attitudes. If he offers to meet only when he needs something, this is not good. Most often, a man uses a woman as a sexual partner. Offers meetings to have sex. There is no need to go into deep discussions here; the consumer attitude towards women is obvious.

If a man really loves

When a guy values ​​a relationship, it's always obvious. You will definitely notice the following in his behavior:

• he listens to your opinion. If a man does not agree with you, but does as you ask him, he truly values ​​the relationship;
• gifts are a clear sign that a man is trying to win you over. If a girl often receives various gifts from her beloved, it means she has won his heart and now he is trying to win her;
• if after meeting you a man began to change for the better, got a better-paid job, bought a new car, enrolled in courses, all this indicates that you inspire him;
• Behavior can also tell a lot about a man. A guy in love will give a girl compliments, as he notices all the little things and details of her appearance. If a man offers his hand when you get out of the car, opens the door for you, there is a real gentleman nearby, worthy of attention;
• tenderness and affection are signs of a reverent attitude towards a girl or woman. If such traits appear in his behavior, then the man values ​​you.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You will receive a step-by-step 12-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.

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If you notice that a man is looking at you with an interested gaze, but does not take any steps towards you, you can be the first to invite him to drink coffee. But you should act unobtrusively. A man in love will not refuse the lady of his heart.

Do you want to know 8 more unmistakable signs of behavior of a man in love? Then definitely.

If you want to make sure that a guy really loves you, look at him. From them one can unmistakably determine his true attitude.

A few more feminine tricks that will help.

How to understand that he only needs you for sex

Actions of men who say that they use a woman for sex:

• your partner does not tell anything about himself, his family, his work. You know little about him and he communicates with you only on intimate topics. Your revelations about feelings do not touch him and do not cause joy or interest;
• pay attention to how he introduces you to his friends. If he introduces himself as “acquaintance” or “girlfriend,” judge for yourself what that means. But a loving man is unlikely to call his woman “girlfriend”;
• if, after spending a night together, he is worried that there will be “evidence” of your presence left in the house, this should also alert you;
• If your passionate partner becomes colder than an iceberg after sex, this is serious evidence of his indifference. A loving man pays attention to his partner constantly, she can count on hugs, kisses and sweet conversations;
• Besides having sex, you no longer spend leisure time together. Here is a picture of a clear consumer attitude for the sake of a bed;
• all the compliments that we heard from him during the period of acquaintance had obvious sexual overtones. The praise went either to your bust, your legs, or other parts of your body, but not to your personality.

Video to help - why a man doesn’t want a serious relationship:

If the relationship is far from ideal, either you allow the man too much, or there is simply “the wrong one” nearby. Therefore, search for someone who loves you, and do not be content with little.